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recent posts

Making an Impression - Parshat Emor

Avraham (Allan) Friedman, MSW
May 5th, 2015

This topic has people confused. Is it right to want to make an impression? Shouldn’t I just be myself? Don’t people make their own impressions of me anyway - I might want to control that. On the other hand, as Rav Aviner once said, I don't want to become an indentured servant to the society I live in. The answer I believe is, of course, both are right (and, yes, I do know the next question 'how could both be right' and, yes, you are r …

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The Vexing Question: So How Come You Are Not Married?

Reuben Gross, PhD
May 3rd, 2015

I doubt if a married person can pose a more vexing question to a marriage-minded Jewish single than the oft repeated quote, "So how come you're not married?" Other forms of the question include "My G-d, are you still single?" usually exclaimed with great surprise after meeting someone by chance some twenty years after the questioner originally met or dated the single and took a kind of liking to him/her, confident that he/she would have been snat …

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But Do You Love Me?

Reuben Gross, PhD
May 3rd, 2015

In the musical "Fiddler on the Roof" the heroine is amazed when her husband presses her for an answer to the question: “but do you love me?” The play is bas­ed on the story "Tevye's Daughters" by Sholom Aleichem. In the Eastern European shtetl "love" wasn't a frequently discussed topic. Essentially, Golde's answer was, “what do you mean do I love you? I wash your clothing, prepare your meals and bear your children, how could …

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Dating for Mating vs. Dating for Dating

Reuben Gross, PhD
May 3rd, 2015

At a Singles Exposition in New York City where I was a guest speaker on the topic "Cop­ing with the Dating Game" many years ago, approximately 3500 never-marrieds, divorced, separated and widowed gathered to meet each other, listen to lectures geared to their interests, and talk to coordinators or sales represent­atives at 108 booths catering to their specific needs. Most frequently represented among these booths were a variety of dating …

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