בס"ד

FAMILY – Unity comprised of diversity

There are two words in Hebrew for family, each of which captures the contrary but integral aspects of a family. Each of these words is used in introducing the mitzvah of preparing and eating the korban Pesach in Mitzrayim, the only mitzvah, to my knowledge, that's specifically given to be done with family. Moreover, it’s the first mitzvah that was given to be told over to Bnei Yisrael as a group ("דברו אל כל עדת ישראל לאמר").

The term בית אב  – Father's house, is used in שמות י"ב:ג' and the term משפחה in י"ב:כ"א. Rav Hirsh in his commentary on the first passuk י"ב:ג', comments on the three ingredients for the birth of the new nation:

1) איש – The freedom of the individual to express his uniqueness

2) שה – Sheep – following a leader

3) בית אב – uniting around a single leader.

A group needs to have individuals that are free to express and fulfill their uniqueness and still follow a common leader who prescribes a specific path.

This lesson is reflected in the word משפחה. Rav Hirsch says that the root of משפחה – "שפח" is related to the root ספח which means to add units to an already existing object. A family consists of a father/leader to whom family members are added, first of course the mother, then the children and so on. Rav Hirsch even adds that the word for maid – שפחה – is from the same root as well, as the family maidservant becomes like an added member of the family.

This concept of unity and diversity is summed up quite clearly in a passuk in parshas Beshalach, when Klal Yisrael is in another stage of coalescing as a nation and preparing to learn of their common goal – the Torah.

When Bnei Yisrael arrived at Elim they found 12 spring of water and 70 date trees. Rashi says that the springs allude to the 12 Tribes and the trees to the Elders/Sages. Klal Yisrael requires uniqueness in its individuals and thus the Torah preserves the individuality of each of the Tribes throughout the Chumash and throughout Jewish history. Those individuals are bound up together by following leaders that provide them with the guidance that they need to be a group.

Rav Hirsch says this is alluded to in the אגודת אזוב – bound up Ezov twigs[a low and humble bush] needed to sprinkle the blood of the korban Pesach. Common blood defines the family identity. The individuals of the family need to be bound with the ties of humility in order to stay bound as a family. The family places that blood of identification on its doorpost as a door sign saying "We are a family unit".

People individuate through their genetic nature as combined with their overcoming their life challenges. In our generation this concept of diversity has to be extended one step further. Families are becoming dismembered by divorce. Divorce is experienced as a tragedy by all. Nevertheless, after the tragedy one needs to appreciate the diversity that Hakadosh Baruch Hu planned through the divorce and with time appreciate that that too is the unified path of the greater family.