Dealing with Difficulties - Parshat Toldot
In order to learn how to deal with difficulties in our lives we often turn to our forefathers for guidance.
Rivka at the beginning of this week's parsha, Parshat Toldot, finds herself suffering through a difficult pregnancy. The suffering is so great that she turns towards God for answers. The answer was that there was a rational explanation for the difficulty in her pregnancy. She was to have twins.1 Though there was no promise that the pregnancy would get any easier, there was now understanding of and meaning to the difficulty in her pregnancy. And this seemed to suffice.
The importance of finding meaning within our suffering was brought to public attention by Dr. Viktor Frankl, Holocaust survivor and author of the bestseller, 'Man's Search for Meaning'. He wrote of the importance of finding meaning in our suffering and that it can help overcome most of the emotional and psychological difficulties being experienced. It may not be able to change the reality of the situation but it can relieve some of the pain and confusion surrounding it. As he writes, "There is much wisdom in the words of Nietzsche: “He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.”2
No one could prevent Rivka's pregnancy from being difficult, but having meaning made it bearable.
When we go through difficult times, it is sometimes hard to gain that perspective on what we experience. We search for answers - that is the search for meaning. When we find an answer the pain does not necessarily go away but it becomes bearable.
I pray for no pain - but knowing that in life pain and suffering will occur, the knowledge that behind pain there is meaning, even if I don't know yet what that meaning is, the pain becomes easier to bear. All the more so if i can detect that meaning.
Thank you Rivka Imeinu for that lesson.
Notes
1. Bereishit 25:23
2. Frankl, Viktor. Man's Search for Meaning, p. 104
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