Living with Contradictions - Parshat Vayeira
One of the more difficult challenges in life is being presented with two diametrically opposed choices - a choice so complicated that no matter what you choose, you would have to compromise a dearly-held value. On a very basic level we are not talking about choosing between chocolate brownie ice cream or a milkshake - that may be a deep dilemma though certainly not contradictory choices. We are talking about a choice where something very near and dear must be sacrificed.
You would be hard-pressed to find another parsha whose beginning and end seem so different and seemilngly contradictory. Parshat Vayeira starts with the promise that Sara would be having a child1 and ends with God commanding Avraham to bring that same child as a burnt offering,2 in effect contradicting the promise of Sara's having a child. Rabbi Berel Wein points out that the command to offer him as a sacrifice effectively negates the miraculous nature of Isaac being born to his 90 year old mother.3 So how does Avraham handle this challenge? Does he follow God's command or follow his fatherly instincts?
The Torah does not tell us of any thoughts that Avraham may have had during the 3-day journey to Har Moriah. The Midrash, as well as a famous philosophical treatise attempt to guess at Avraham's state of mind. The Midrash describes Avraham crying while he prepares the knife.4 It may have been seen by Avraham as the greatest contradiction in his life! He himself had spoken out against idolatrous practices, including child sacrifice, and here he was being asked, nay commanded, to sacrifice his own son.
He had a decision to make. Would he forgo his life's belief in God and his word, for his divinely-given fatherly instincts? What a dilemma! What a contradiction!
He may not have understood the divine commandment but he decided to fulfill it even though it seems to have caused him great pain.
Viktor Frankl, a Holocaust survivor, also confronted with contradictions –on the one hand, the reality of life in concentration camps (he was in 4 different camps) where each day carried with it the chance of not surviving and, on the other, his belief that something meaningful can be found even in his life there. So, he concludes, though we may have little if any control over the events that befall us, yet, we do have control over the attitude we take towards these events.
Avraham was stuck between a rock and a hard place. He believed so much in the sanctity of human life that he prayed for the city of Sodom to be spared despite their evil doings and yet here he was being asked to sacrifice the son he waited so long for.
He could have wallowed in despair or be paralyzed by indecision.
Instead he looked at the decision and said I will take a trusting attitude to this command, albeit with tears. He courageously took a stand.
Contradictions and dilemmas in life can, if we let them, empower us to make decisions that are consistent with our beliefs and conscience and help enable us to live bolder, fuller, more meaningful lives.
Notes
1. Bereishit 18:10
2. ibid. 22:2
3. Rabbi Wein, http://torah.org/learning/rabbiwein/5774/vayera.html
4. Bereishit Raba 56:8
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