Unglorious Kindness - Parshat Chayei Sara
Good-deed-doers often go unnoticed. In the classic movie, Wizard of Oz, the Wizard speaks to the Tin Man of many good-deed-doers. Some get recognized for their work and are thanked privately and sometimes even publicly. Yet even those who may not get testimonials for their works, their deeds are no less important nor less appreciated by the recipient of their kindness.
The beginning of this week's parsha, Chayei Sara, describes just such a situation. Sara has just passed away and Avraham interrupts his mourning to care for her burial. He certainly had enough servants who could handle this transaction yet he decided to take care of it himself.1
Taking care of the burial needs of someone is not considered by many as one of the more glamorous activities one can engage in. Yet it is considered by Chaza"l as one of the most important acts of kindness that one can perform. Yaakov even calls it a 'kindness and a truth' which Rashi describes as a true kindness for which the performer of the act expects no payback from the person he is helping.2
When Viktor Frankl, Holocaust survivor and founder of logotherapy received a visa to leave Austria on the eve of World War Two and the Holocaust, he decided he could not leave his parents behind and instead stayed with them in Austria. Because of that decision to remain behind he suffered through 4 different concentration camps,3 yet he never regretted that decision.
Kindness towards others is not always easy. Nor is it always convenient. Or glamorous. Yet it is great.
How much can it help the person? How much does it inconvenience us? What is the gap between the answers of those two questions?
These can be hard questions to answer. Yet life does sometimes indeed ask these questions of us. What will OUR answer be?
Just know this: All acts of kindness are appreciated. Even the unglamorous ones.
- Bereishit 23:2-5
- ibid. 47:29-30
- Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning
Have A Great Shabbat!
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