The Responsibility of Choice - Parshat Vayeitzei

Miracles are but one way in which God effects change in the world. When the children of Israel were to leave Egypt, He brought upon them 10 plagues and then split the Red Sea.

Yet there are times when God demands of us to take responsibility for our actions. Near the end of this week's Parsha, Vayeitzei, we find Lavan chasing down Yaakov. God could easily have prevented such a meeting in any number of miraculous ways. Instead, Rabbi Moshe Feinstein points out, He gave Lavan the opportunity to choose. God told him to be careful in how he even spoke with Yaakov.

The same Lavan who cheated Yaakov by switching brides on him and changing the terms of his salary many times was given the opportunity and the responsibility to make a choice. He was almost chomping at the bit when he met Yaakov saying: "I have the power to harm you - but God told me to watch out."1 But he did not use any subterfuge this time. He took the challenge God offered him and followed His word.

Yet Lavan did not allow for this experience to affect him and his decision-making. In fact, when the Torah tell us that Lavan "returned to his place"2, Rabbi Feinstein explains that this place was not just a physical place but rather his "psychological place", his previous decision-making process. He continued on the same path.

Choices that we make help define who we are and where we are going. Every situation offers us an opportunity to make different choices than the ones we've made all our lives. Yes, we can say "that’s the way I've always done it" or we can view the situation at hand, discern the 'meaning of the moment'3 and ask ourselves what is the proper choice here.

We don’t always have the 'luxury' of time to make decisions in that manner. Yet it is a skill that we can develop if we choose to (there I go again talking about choice).

To do that we need to take a hard look at what is facing us, view the different alternatives and their repercussions for us and others, and then make the decision that 'fits' the situation best. In that manner, we take a significant step to a more mindful, responsible and meaningful life.

Notes

  1. Bereishit 31:24
  2. Ibid. 32:1
  3. The term 'meaning of the moment' was coined by Viktor Frankl to describe the ability we always have to make responsible choices

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P.S. My thanks to Rabbi Pinchas Avruch who gave me the inspiration for this article

 

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