An Attitude Problem - Parshat Ki Tissa
Throughout the world, we find criminal courts making decisions based on the action that was done as well as the motivation and intent. The action alone does not determine a person's guilt. After all, we, too, make mistakes and do wrong things even though when we were doing it we may have even believed it was the proper thing to do. We can even say that the exact same action will be judged differently based on the circumstances and intent. The intent to do wrong, and even more importantly, the action both need to be present for a person to be guilty.
Yet when God comes to Moshe and tells him that the people made a golden calf and that it made him so angry he wanted to destroy them, notice what He says. "God then said to Moses, 'I have observed the people, and they are an unbending group. Now do not try to stop Me when I unleash my wrath against them to destroy them. I will then make you into a great nation."1 He ignores the action entirely! He reacts to their stubbornness. My brother-in-law, Rabbi Chaim Flom, z"l quoted Rabbi Simcha Zissel of Kelm to explain this. He explains that what really bothered God about these people was that they were an 'unbending', stubborn group. Time and again, ever since they left Egypt just 3 months earlier, they were complaining and testy.
We all make mistakes yet hopefully we are among those who admit their errors and try to learn from them. It is not the mistaken action which is critical - it is the attitude we take towards it that defines who we are and shapes our future. Oft times it is harder to change one's attitude than to correct a behavior. Yet changing an attitude has more positive effects than just changing behavior. What makes it more difficult is that sometimes stubbornness is helpful and only the context determines how appropriate it is.
What kind of people are we? The kind who recognize our own humanity, who never stop growing and the kind who are willing to learn from our mistakes. We were given a spirit to be responsible towards ourselves and others. We are to utilize it to reach our own greatness. It is within our grasp.
“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms —to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances.” says Viktor Frankl.2
We will continue to make mistakes. We can show our humanity by choosing the attitude we take towards our mistakes. Let us at least give our mistakes some meaning and adopt an attitude that will let us learn from them.
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1. Shemot 32:9-10 (Living Torah translation)
2. Attitudes that we take towards events in our lives are a central path towards meaning according to Dr. Viktor Frankl and his theory of logotherapy.
Have A Great Shabbat!
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