Empathy Despite Pain - Parshat Miketz 

It is natural for us to look out for ourselves. I might even say that we are behaving responsibly when we do so. It is even more appropriate when we are suffering and in pain. Yet we find that Yaakov showed empathy towards his kids when he needed caring as well. Is it proper to show this preference?

In this week's parsha, Parshat Miketz, we see Yaakov displaying this attribute. When he is sending his kids back down to Egypt for a second time to buy more grain, he is still in pain over his lost son Joseph and his missing son, Shimon. In his prayer before sending the children down, however, he says: "May God Almighty grant you compassion before the man that he may release unto you your other brother and Benjamin."1 He is entirely focused on his children and their welfare. He does not ask for pity on himself though he was still in great pain - mourning for Joseph and concerned for the welfare of Shimon who was incarcerated in Egypt. Nor does he ask for the return of 'his' sons. Instead, he asks God to have pity on his children, and send home their brother. Though Shimon is his son as well, he is able to take himself out of the picture and calls him 'your other brother'. Not his son, rather, their brother. The whole prayer is one for his children and their welfare.

This attribute, to be able to pray for the other while you are in pain, is highly praised by Chazal.2 It is a challenge. We are in pain yet we are able to still feel another's pain. We are able to transcend above our own senses, feelings and needs and be able to tune in to someone else. By the very act of self-transcendence we connect to that part of us, the noetic self, which is specifically human.3 We show our courageous ability to stop feeling our own pain for a moment and to be present to help someone else in their pain. We see this occuring time and again in a parent's love for their child and sometimes even in random acts of kindness. How high a plateau humans are capable of reaching!

It is not always easy. But it shows the greatness we can attain.

*Click here to read another logoParsha post on Miketz.

Notes

  1. Bereishit 43:14 (Silbermann translation)
  2. Midrash Sechel Tov. Bereishit:Vayeira: 21
  3. Frankl, Viktor. Psychotherapy and Existentialism.

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