Existential Angst - Parshat Toledot

There are times in everyone's life when things don’t go as planned. One may even feel they are suffering. It may be a one-time event or it may be chronic. How do we get out of that funk? Do we need to wait until the situation clears up or is there something that can be done now? Is there in fact an answer to these questions?

We find a similar question being asked by Esav in this week's parsha, Parshat Toledot. He had just returned from another hunting trip and asked his brother, Yaakov to pour some soup down his gullet. Yaakov agreed on the condition that Esav sold his birthright to him. Esav, being involved in hunting and feeling that he would live a short life, agreed saying that he would die soon anyway and what would he do with a birthright.1 Many of the various commentaries describe Esav's inability to see beyond today and that he looks solely at the length of his life without looking at what content his life might have or what his legacy might be.2 He looked at his life which was fraught with danger and asked if he needed any extra titles or responsibilities. If his days were short then he could ask "what meaning is there to it?"

If one measures life only by its length, we can easily understand why it would appear meaningless. This kind of attitude would necessarily lead us down the path of existential angst. And for Esav it was such a pervading sense of doom and meaninglessness that he sold his birthright for a simple cup of hot lentil soup. His life had no value if he could not be assured of how many days he had left.

In addressing the danger of this attitude, the great American statesman Adlai Stevenson said, "It is not the years in your life that count, it is the life in your years.”3 None of us knows the number of the days of our lives. Even in hospices, which care for the terminally ill, we find patients and families finding meaning in the difficult time they are experiencing.

This is echoed by research done by Michael F. Steger, Patricia Frazier, Shigehiro Oishi, and Matthew Kaler. "Frankl (1963) argued that humans are characterized by a “will to meaning,” an innate drive to find meaning and significance in their lives, and that failure to achieve meaning results in psychological distress. Research has supported this proposed link between lack of meaning and psychological distress. Having less meaning in life has been associated with greater need for therapy (Battista & Almond, 1973), depression and anxiety (e.g., Debats, van der Lubbe, & Wezeman, 1993), and suicidal ideation and substance abuse (e.g., Harlow, Newcomb, & Bentler, 1986), as well as other forms of distress."4 Finding meaning, even in difficult circumstances, contributes to our psychological well-being.5

So, we have a choice. We can choose the path of Esav and say that there is no meaning. Or we can choose a path of finding meaning even in difficult times. Meaning always exists. It is to be discovered. That is our challenge.

Click here to read another logoParsha article on Toledot (Nature? Nurture? Both? Neither?)

Notes

  1. Bereishit 25:23
  2. Rabbi Hirsch, Chizkuni, Rashbam among others
  3. 1952 October 26, Boston Globe, Leadership Thrust on U. S., Adlai Tells Globe Forum by Joan McPartlin, C1, Quote Page 23, Boston, Massachusetts. (ProQuest). This information was found on quoteinvestigator.com
  4. Journal of Counseling Psychology. Copyright 2006 by the American Psychological Association 2006, Vol. 53, No. 1, 80 –93
  5. See also a previous blog – 'Dealing with Difficulties' http://bit.ly/toledot75

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