Frum Therapist: Mental Health Resources for the Frum Community

LogoParsha

'LogoParsha' is a series of articles on finding meaning in the Parsha. The term Logo is borrowed from logotherapy, a school of psychology founded by Dr. Viktor Frankl, author of 'Man's Search For Meaning'.

how-do-we-live-with-impurity--parshat-naso

How Do We Live With Impurity – Parshat Naso Impurity is a concept basically insignificant to 21st century Man. It has few halachic ramifications (aside from Niddah and Kohen) yet it occupies a significant amount of discussion in the Torah. Without delving into the philosophical concept of impurity, I would like to share some thoughts on how we react to impurity. The Torah describes differing levels of ritual impurity, Tum’ah, which ha …

Attention-to-Detail-Bamidbar-Shavuot

Attention to Detail Only? – Bamidbar/Shavuot Shavuot is one of the easiest holidays to write about. We celebrate the revelation at Har Sinai and the receiving of the Torah. So, theoretically, any concept used from the Torah is fair play. Yet the topic for this blog corresponds so wonderfully to Bamidbar, the parsha we  read this past Shabbat. The Torah discusses how to pack up the Mishkan every time it is moved.1 It invests time discus …

overcoming-ulterior-motives---parshat-behar-bechukotai-

Overcoming  Ulterior Motives - Parshat Behar-Bechukotai Since the days of Freud, we have spoken more openly of ulterior motives. Whether or not you agree with his theories and methods, we are thankful to his creating a culture where people are more aware of their psychological makeup. Freud, of course, did not invent the concept. The concept, in fact, is thousands of years old. In this week’s parsha, the Torah describes the phenomena …

be-holy-huh-how---parshat-acharei-mot-kedoshim

Be Holy! Huh?? How??? There are times when the Torah tells us things which seem beyond us. Yet, we are expected to follow the Torah’s precepts. So when the Torah tells us to be holy,1 we might be inclined to answer with a Bill Cosby-type answer, “Yeah, right. What’s holy?”2 How does one become holy? Is there a path to holiness? Rabbi Oshi Bloom quotes the great Chassidic sage, Maor Vashemesh, who somehow succeeds in expla …

do-i-have-to--parshat-tazria-metzora

Do I Have To? – Parshat Tazria-Metzora It never ceases to amaze me that there are so many new concepts I have encountered since starting this blog. Since I started in 2015 (including a hiatus from corona til this past toledot), I have been introduced to ideas which have opened my own heart and mind and have shared those. The Torah always has something new to add. So, as I started preparing for this week’s article, I was confronte …

oh-the-humanity--parshat-shemini-

Oh, the Humanity! – Parshat Shemini This phrase has been etched into my memory ever since the first time I heard the recording of the Hindenburg explosion as a kid. My father bought a set of records with historical recordings and this was among them. There was a large crowd waiting in anticipation in 1937 for the airship’s arrival. Yet, upon approaching its New jersey landing point, it burst into flames. Upon witnessing the disaster …

holy-ashes-parshat-tzav

Holy Ashes Cleaning out the grill at the end of any usage, or even kashering the grill for pesach, is not a chore which I thoroughly enjoy (yes there are chores I thoroughly enjoy). I understand the importance of it. I know that cleaning will prepare the grill for the next fun usage. I remember the first time I noticed the mitzva of how we treat the ashes on the Mizbeach.1  It was about 45 years ago when I was studying in yeshiva in Israel a …

a-humble-leader---parshat-vayikra

Responsible Leader  Can you imagine someone running for public office, and their flyer would state that the candidate is a humble statesman? Or that he is modest? That candidate would become a laughingstock in the world of politics. And now, close your eyes and imagine the following. Imagine a leader saying: “oops.” Or “I made a mistake.”  Unthinkable! Yet, that is exactly what this parsha celebrates. We read of …

a-perfect-imperfect-world---parshat-pekudei

A Perfectly Imperfect World I can’t count how many times I’ve wanted things to go right. And how many times I felt the frustration, anger and disappointment when things didn’t go exactly to plan. It has ranged from embarrassing moments to medical surprises to getting cut off by another driver. Why can’t the world just be perfect?!?!? In this week’s parsha, we read of the actual building of the Mishkan. When …

develop-your-gifts--parshat-vayakhel

Develop Your Gifts – Parshat Vayakhel I know I am not Rabbi Soloveichik. I am also not Michael Jordan. Nor am I Sir Elton John nor Dr. Viktor Frankl. I am me. I can look with jealousy at what they have achieved. Will that jealousy inspire me or send me into fits of frustration or depression? As I write these lines I also realize that Michael Jordan is not Elton John. Yes, I know that is kind of obvious but the realization was that each was …

what-does-your-name-represent--parshat-ki-tissa

What Does YOUR Name represent? I know, I know. It’s already after Shabbos. Its already after Purim. I just didn’t get my act together before Friday…and on Friday, well, let’s just say that I wasn’t fully focused. So, just a quick thought from today’s parsha. God is appointing Bezalel to build the Mishkan. He could have just said that He is calling upon Bezalel. But nooooo. He is calling upon the name of Bezal …

for-whom-the-menorah-shines-parshat-tetzaveh

For Whom the Menorah Shines?   I am often surprised about the care God takes in describing in the very details of the vestments of the Kohen in the Mishkan and the building materials and dimensions of the Mishkan.  In the very place where the kohen alone is allowed to “meet” God, there is seemingly undue concern about the clothing he wears and whether we use gold or silver for the Keruvim and why each part of the Mishkan was …

to-triumph--parshat-mishpatim

To Triumph – Parshat Mishpatim Much of logotherapy is about how to live our lives – be authentic, experience your life, be aware, be responsible to self and others. And, of course, to locate and live according to the unique and individual meaning we all have in our lives.   This week’s parsha adds another idea to help us in living a meaningful life and being responsible to others. The Torah discusses how we are expected to …

no-limits---parshat-yitro

No Limits  We are all born into a certain culture. Each culture has sub-cultures with societal rules, many of which are unwritten. In some places those rules are so varied and complex that it is hard to understand them all and go through life adhering to all of them. There are class structures, glass ceilings or other Icarus-type barriers. There may be physical or psychological barriers to our growth as well. Even so, our ability t …

how-quickly-we-forget---parshat-bo

How Quickly we Forget   It is incredible at times how quickly I can forget things – not only trivial items but significant ones as well. Whether it stems from a lack of concentration or simple forgetfulness is not the issue. It happens to most of us (except for my wife – her memory is impeccable).   Even the Torah tells of an extreme example of this. The Jews, the Torah recounts in this week’s parsha, are getting ready …

hope-in-the-face-of-failure---parshat-vaeira

Hope in the Face of Failure   I hate failure. I hate it in all its forms when it is my own failure. I can at times hate it in others as well (hate the failure – not the person). I can hate it when someone of a sports team I’m following doesn’t succeed in advancing his team’s fortune.   It can be comforting at times to know that great people have failed as well. Elvis, Dr. Seuss, and Edison all failed on their way …

when-will-i-get-over-it-parshat-shemot

When Will I Get Over It? We have all experienced surprises in life. Many are pleasant yet many are not.  The pleasant ones leave fond memories. The ones which are not pleasant often leave dirty footprints. How do we clean them up?   Moshe, in this week’s parsha, calls his eldest Gershom due to the difficulties he experienced living in a foreign land.1 Though he was married to a good family, he still felt like a stranger. In contra …

lazy-or-resting---parshat-vayechi

Lazy or Resting   There are very few words that I will ask clients not to use in my clinic. They are not as you might think cuss words, but rather words which reflect a certain mindset which usually is not helpful for them.   One of those words is “lazy”. It is specifically a red light when a person uses it to describe himself. It is a word that is judgmental as well as humiliating – which may be the very reason the pe …

so-happy-i-could-die--parshat-vayigash

So Happy I Could Die – Parshat Vayigash It seems like an innocent enough expression of happiness. ‘I am so happy I could die’ has become the title of a song by Lady Gaga and like many other phrases it has become a hackneyed, meaningless phrase expressing one’s happiness. After all, could one be so happy they could die?   In this week’s parsha, we find perhaps the earliest incident of someone saying ‘I&rsqu …

surrender-to-what-is---parshat-miketz

Surrender to What Is Surrender is not a word with pleasant connotations. I think of it in context of losing a war. “lee surrenders to Grant at Appomattox.” Or, “Germany surrenders to allied forces.” Surrendering is not something I might wish to do.   And so, when I read the following idea in this week’s parsha it struck me as challenging and reminded me of a logotherapeutic concept.   Yakov, as we know, was …

QuestioningTheWandererParshatVayeshev

Questioning the Wanderer As a therapist, I often ponder what to ask when. Even the very first question we ask as a client comes in for their first session becomes a professional issue as I try to identify what message each question sends. How can I help empower a client from the get-go?   In this week's parsha, when Yosef was sent to visit his brothers and didn’t find them, the Torah tells us he wandered in the field. He met a man …

joy-or-despair

Joy or Despair I prefer a simple life. Meanings are easy to discern, events fit in nicely with my weltanschauung, there are no visible threats to my existence and in general I am feeling good about life. All too often, though, life throws me a curveball. Events happen that aren't always so easy to decipher. There may be too many options/ angles with which to understand an event, my ego may get in the way and there may be some threa …

fourth-time-a-charm-parshatVayeitzei

Fourth Time a Charm or Alone vs. Lonely In Israel, I was pleasantly surprised to learn that the parallel phrase to “third time a charm” was “third time, ice cream.” Most people I know never actually bought or got ice cream even though the phrase is widely used. But it is at least brings a smile to peoples' faces.   We have noted in these pages before how careful/stingy the Torah is with its words. Very often the rabbi …

pain-in-a-vacuum--parshat-toledot

Pain in a Vacuum – Parshat Toledot I admit I’ve never been pregnant. I don’t understand the discomfort of carrying a living moving person in my belly for nine months nor the joy of hosting a new life within. So when I read in this week’s parsha of Rivka’s pregnancy of twins and the difficulty she had with all the jockeying for position that went on inside,1 all I can do is try to understand her situation. But what is …

the-right-way--parshat-vaeira-

The Right Way – Parshat Vaeira   We find ourselves in a moral dilemma at times when we have two moral values that conflict. Is there always a correct course to choose? When there is enough money left at the end of the month for either a special treatment for an elderly parent or a tutor for a child with ADD, how do you choose? Can I allow for the perception of "how others view me" to become a consideration? I was actually surprised in …

be-a-mensch--parshat-shemot

Be a Mensch! – Parshat Shemot Without being sexist, this phrase simply implores the individual to be an upright, responsible individual with civility and humility – no matter male or female  - who doesn’t stand idly by while others suffer. Although I did consider using "Be a Man", I decided that the title itself might keep people away. In addition, the word Mensch implies infinitely more than the word "man". (I add a tip of …

dont-be-yourself--parshat-miketz-

Don’t Be Yourself – Parshat Miketz Isn’t that backwards? Don’t you mean "be yourself"? Well, kinda. You're right, too. We are always talking about being your authentic YOU. As Kierkegaard said: “Don’t despair at wanting to become your authentic self.”1 So make up my mind…be yourself…don’t be yourself. What to do? And what do you mean anyway "don’t be yourself"? When Yosef was ca …

here-i-am--parshat-vayeshev

Here I Am! – Parshat Vayeshev Let's do this! What a bold statement! People who are aware of the import of what is about to happen, can feel pumped by the anticipation of what they are doing. They can also be filled with fear and trepidation. How do we then find clarity?  This is highlighted by a difficulty in Rashi pointed out by the great teacher, Prof. Nechama Leibowitz, z"l. Yosef was just asked to visit his brothers and see how the …

the-struggles-the-thing--parshat-vayishlach

The Struggle's the Thing – Parshat Vayishlach Nobody likes struggling. Well, maybe not "nobody" but many of us anyway. It's nice to just view a sunset, have your morning coffee or spend time with friends. Struggle is unpleasant, frustrating and simply not my favorite word. In this week's parsha, Yaakov finds himself struggling against a mysterious stranger.1 There are numerous questions regarding this story, ranging from why Yaakov was alon …

is-life-really-empty--parshat-haazinu

Is Life Really Empty? – Parshat Haazinu We've gone through the past seven months of COVID-19 at times asking ourselves the question of meaning. Some people have lost their livelihood, some have suffered from lingering aftereffects while others have lost family and friends. Is there meaning behind all this? Is it perhaps all meaningless suffering? Throughout the LogoParsha blog, we talk about logotherapy (literally: healing through meaning) …

a-truly-happy-year---rosh-hashanah-

A Truly Happy Year – Rosh Hashanah  What a year it has been. Sadness, anger, rioting, mourning, politics, division, wildfires and more. Oh, yes….and Corona. To be fair, there have also been weddings, births, promotions and other good things that have happened this year. Rosh Hashanah is considered the yearly Day of Judgment and we pray that the judgment for the coming year will be favorable based on the good things that we and o …

responsible-or-response-able--parshat-nitzavim-vayelech-

Responsible or "Response-able" – Parshat Nitzavim-Vayelech I love word games. "Dad jokes" are funny – okay, maybe not, but at least witty. "How do you call a bee that can’t easily make up its mind? A maybe."1 (is that a groan I hear?) I'm lucky, as well, to be interested in a school of human ontology/psychology/existentialism/motivation whose founder liked word play as well. We can even use it in this week's parsha. There may b …

happy-by-choice--parshat-ki-tavo

Happy by Choice – Parshat Ki Tavo We all want to be happy. You know how I know? From all the ads for programs on how to be happy. And many of them are quite successful. Even the American Declaration of Independence, proclaims the right to pursue happiness as an inalienable right of all humanity. I know I want to be happy. In a negative sense, the Torah describes the importance of happiness. This week's parsha, seems to say that "The Rebuke" …

faithful-to-yourself--parshat-shofetim

Faithful to Yourself – Parshat Shofetim   I love reviewing the parsha. I would like to believe that even if there were no requirement to read it every week, I would still do it, but I can't believe that I would. So, I am thankful that Chazal expects us to review the parsha weekly. It also gives me a chance to notice new ways of looking at the content, some of which have quite opened my eyes. A few years back, I wrote about this verse f …

potential--parshat-ekev-

Potential – Parshat Ekev Some people notice everything that goes on around them. Others have a tendency to be so wrapped up in what's going on, they notice less about what is going on. I am somewhere in the middle though with a tendency to notice more than less. So, when I see the following idea expressed by the Netziv, I wonder how come I never saw it before.  The Torah has three mitzvot that include loving - loving God, loving your …

frustration--parshat-vaetchanan-

Frustration – Parshat Vaetchanan We all want to feel good all the time. We also know that stuff happens and our sense of stability is threatened. We often try to ignore this knowledge and live our lives "as if". We make plans, we invest time, energy and money based on dreams of how we wish to see our future. There are business plans and personal development programs that encourage us to see a few years down the line and build our present l …

untitled--parshat-devarim

Untitled – Parshat Devarim Just a short idea and can't decide on a title. What I've come up with so far, just isn’t quite right. (if you get any ideas, please let me know) The judges, whose appointment is discussed in this week's parsha, are reminded that they should be good, honest and fair judges for, after all, the judgment belongs to God.1 Well, isn’t that kind of obvious? If these judges are dealing with Jewish law, do they …

--parshat-matot-masei-

42 – Parshat Matot-Masei No, this is not a blog on "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy".1 Imagine - there are other times that the number 42 appears. For instance, the only uniform number that is permanently retired in Major League Baseball is the number 42, the number that Jackie Robinson wore. It is also the atomic number of the element Molybdenum. Even so, with a tip of the hat to all Douglas Adams fans, I would like to touch on t …

dilemmas--parshat-pinchas-

Dilemmas – Parshat Pinchas Sometimes I just hate dilemmas. They force me to choose between different options. And some of them aren’t so pleasant. You must have heard of the phrase 'between a rock and a hard place'. Some options are really unpleasant. And when you have two unpleasant options, then you're really going to suffer the choice. Rashi in this week's parsha, Parshat Pinchas alludes to this. Back when the sun and moon were cr …

search-for-simple-answers--parshat-chukat

Search for Simple Answers – Parshat Chukat Wouldn’t it be great if life had simple answers to even the most complex questions? It would be easier to bear the burdens of suffering and anguish. After all, if Despair is, according to Doctor Viktor Frankl, Suffering without Meaning (D=S-M), then if we could assign meaning to our suffering, we would be spared all that despair and anguish.1 We know that stuff happens. Our question is always …