How do You Know? – Parshat Vayeshev

Y'know those times when you're not really sure what to do? You gotta take matters into your own hands. It seems to be the most natural and obvious solution. But wait, don’t I have to trust in God? Yeah, but you can't rely on miracles. So which is it? How do you know?

In one of the most difficult rebukes of Yoseph's behavior, Rashi takes Yoseph to task for not trusting enough in God. At the very end of this week's parsha, Parshat Vayeshev, Yoseph had asked Pharaoh's Chief Cupbearer to advocate on his behalf and help him finally get out of prison. Rashi says that Yoseph should not have relied on the cupbearer to remember him and was punished for that lapse of belief. Yet on the other hand, we often say that one should not rely on a miracle and should be dilligent;2 and here, the cupbearer was right there! It was obvious that the cupbearer was his ticket out of prison. Of course Yoseph should avail himself of this opportunity. Or maybe not?

In trying to understand Rashi's comments, Rabbi Porat is quoted as saying that Rashi points out that Yaakov, upon approaching Esav, did three things: he prepared himself for war, sent gifts and prayed.3 He did not rely simply on his own preparation for battle or on his attempts to soften up Esav through the many gifts he sent him. He also prayed. Perhaps this is what was missing for Rashi in the story of Yoseph. The prayer. The connection to the spiritual side. Self-reliance is good but it needs to be complemented by belief. 4

On the other hand, when Israel was leaving Egypt and were pursued by the Egyptian army they cried out to God for help and God admonished them saying: "Why are you calling out to me? Tell the children of Israel to move forward."5

Or at times we may do nothing and God will act on our behalf.6

So, which is it? Belief or action? Or both? How do we know?

We don’t.

We do not know ahead of time which path we are to take. So we remain in the dark. Sometimes. There are times when the path is clear. Other times when it is muddied.

We all make choices in life regarding the correct path to take. It can be in dealing with issues of relationships, career, or family. We are not prophets and cannot always guess the ramifications of our actions. We search out friends, counselors, and family to help us decide on the right course of action. We listen to the voice of our conscience searching for the right course of action.7 And in the end we can even make 'good' decisions which turn out not as we had expected or hoped.

We also try to not allow the decision-making process to paralyze us. If we fretted over every decision, we would never accomplish anything. Are we to be more active? Do we get more involved in our kids' lives or less? Do we try every medical procedure possible or is there some point when we say quality of life must be considered? Is there a 'right' answer? We perform. We make decisions. Sometimes we guess.

Even as I write these words, I notice that I am discussing different possible approaches. Is there a right one? Though I don’t believe there is one right approach that is correct for all people all the time, we do need to care, when possible, for our own well-being on all levels – physical, emotional and spiritual.

We do not have control over what happens to us. But we CAN control our attitude towards what happens. Even if we aren’t sure it's the right decision, we can be certain that we are making the best decision we can with the knowledge, ability and time that is available. And that will be enough.

Click here for another logoParsha article on Parshat Vayeshev (The Divine in the Human)

Notes

  1. Bereishit 40:14
  2. Pesachim 64b
  3. Rashi - Bereishit 32:9
  4. http://www.hatanakh.com/en/node/28156
  5. Shemot 14:15
  6. See Midrash Bereishit 88:7, Rashbam Bereishit 40:14-15, 23
  7. This is not a Freudian conscience which bombards us with demands of an authoritative "you should" but rather a conscience of the type Viktor Frankl describes. This Franklian conscience looks for a right course of action that ought to be taken.

Have A Great Shabbat!laughing

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