Joy or Despair

I prefer a simple life. Meanings are easy to discern, events fit in nicely with my weltanschauung, there are no visible threats to my existence and in general I am feeling good about life.

All too often, though, life throws me a curveball. Events happen that aren't always so easy to decipher. There may be too many options/ angles with which to understand an event, my ego may get in the way and there may be some threat (physical, financial, familial, health or other) associated with an event. 

Things get complicated.

Such was the birth of Binyamin as told in this week’s parsha.1 Though giving birth is usually thought of as a joyous event, Rachel knew she was dying during the birthing of Binyamin. And so, during uring her final moments, Rachel called him Ben Oni while Jacob called him Binyamin.

Rashi, followed by most other commentaries suggests that the name Rachel gave, Ben Oni, means son of anguish, while others offered son of mourning.

The Netziv gives a creative twist to Rachel’s choice of name. He says that the word “Oni” has two meanings: 1) son of anguish as Rashi explained; 2) son of strength.2 He doesn’t offer this as two separate options to understand the word. Rather he explains that the word itself can be understood in two ways – both of which are appropriate here.3

It is fascinating, then, that Rachel had the presence of mind during a difficult childbirth and succeeded in finding a name that could encapsulate two such different concepts. Binyamin was, at the same time, a son of anguish as well as a son of strength. It does not need to be an “either or” option. It can be both. Anguish and strength.

How often does it happen that we see only one aspect of an event. It is either good or bad, positive or negative, encouraging or threatening. Perhaps these events have multiple aspects and because we are too close or too involved, we cannot see them. If we are lucky enough to have good friends, they can help us see events from different angles.

Dr. Viktor Frankl challenges us to find a way to view difficult events not only as difficult but as a source of inspiration. He calls this Tragic Optimism - optimism despite tragic events.3

There are at least three ways that Frankl offers us to change our attitude towards these events.

  1. We can decide to draft the defiant power of our human spirit and to continue living despite our challenges, modifying our attitudes along the way;
  2. we can find a way to use our experience to help ourselves or others;
  3. we view the pain as a sign that the event was significant and explore its significance.

There are other paths but those are the basic ones.

Joy and despair. We can imagine Rachel with her dying breath seeing the futility of having labor pains yet knowing that the baby would be born healthy gave her the strength to bear the pain.

Was it easy for Rachel? Would it be easier for us? No. It is called a challenge for good reasons. But it is a challenge that we are called to answer. How will we respond? I don’t know, but it’s good knowing that there is more than one option.

Image by OpenClipart-Vectors from Pixabay

Footnotes

  1. Bereishit 35:16-8
  2. See also Bereishit 49:3 in the bracha that Yakov gives Reuven
  3. Haamek Davar. Bereishit 35:18
  4. Frankl, Viktor E.. Man's Search for Meaning (p. 137). Beacon Press. Kindle Edition.

Have A Great Shabbat!laughing

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