Love - A 'Second Hand  Emotion'? – Parshat Acharei Mot-Kedoshim

There are some phrases that are so well known that we use them with sometimes reckless abandon - throwing them about without ever understanding the phrase and these phrases  get bandied about freely. And what does love have to do with it? Is it really, as the song goes, just "a second hand emotion?"1

Such is a phrase from this week's parsha, Acharei Mot-Kedoshim. We all know the phrase, 'Love Thy Neighbor'. We even know that the continuation is "as thyself".2 We may even know that Rabbi Akiva called this "a great principle in the Torah."3 But, come the end of the day, how do we know that we have fulfilled this commandment? How do we measure it? How can the Torah even command for love!? After ll, isn’t love an emotion? How can you command emotion?

Maimonides, one of the greatest Jewish sages of all times, was apparently bothered by the Torah's use of the word love as well. In describing the commandment to love God, he writes: "(When a person) contemplates His wondrous and great deeds and creations and appreciates His infinite wisdom that surpasses all comparison, he will immediately love, praise, and glorify."4 By recognizing what He does and acknowledging His wisdom, we will immediately come to love Him.

So, if we translate this to our human level, when we recognize the greatness of another human whether obvious or hidden, we come to love him.

Dr. Viktor Frankl, a psychiatrist and author of the book, 'Man's Search for Meaning', offers a very similar description of what love is: "…to experience one human being as unique means to love him."5 So, in order to show love we decide to experience the 'other'. We see him not only as he is but what he can become as well. We are proactive in seeing his uniqueness not only in his present state but also in that which he has to offer the world.

This is how I view each new client who enters the clinic as well. I was taught to search for their potential. Looking for their strength, their inner resolve, the defiant power of the human spirit that can never be extinguished, and thus to show love for them up front.  And this is not for therapists only - you can do this with your kids, your spouse, your friends, etc.

This is how we fulfill the commandment to love our neighbor. This is how we love every human being.2

 

Notes

  1. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TCBttS_y7lE, Tina Turner
  2. Vayikra 19:18
  3. Talmud Jerushalmi, Nedarim 30a – note the second opinion of Ben Azai who includes all humans (including one's self) in this commandment
  4. Maimonides, Yesodei Hatorah 2:2 – thanks to Chabad site for translation
  5. Frankl, Viktor. The Doctor and the Soul: From Psychotherapy to Logotherapy . Knopf Doubleday Publishing Group. Kindle Edition. P. 158

 

Have A Great Shabbat!laughing

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