Love Yourself To "Love Thy Neighbor"- Acharei Mot-Kedoshim

The concept of 'brotherly love' is international. There is even a city named for the concept - Philadelphia. Yet there is another, more basic concept  that often gets overlooked.

One of the most famous and oft-quoted sentences of the Torah (and the famous rabbinic principle based on it) appears in this week's parsha, Acharei Mot-Kedoshim. "Love thy neighbor as thyself"1 is a basic tenet in Judaism together with the accompanying saying by Rabbi Akiva - "this is a great principle in the Torah"2. Though if the Torah wants us to love our neighbors, why not just say that: Love thy Neighbor? Why does the Torah add the comparative "as thyself"? The Torah is apparently teaching an important lesson. The Torah is comparing the love of others with how we love ourselves - not in order to absolve us from loving others by saying "well I don’t love myself so who cares about the others," but rather to say "love yourself so you can love others even more."

How we see ourselves and how we love ourselves is important if we want to grow and develop as humans and, even more importantly, if we want to grow as caring giving human beings who are able to give and care in marital, familial and friendly relationships. In discussing the ancient Greek concepts of love, psychotherapist Phillipa Perry writes, "Philautia is self love, which isn't as selfish as it sounds. As Aristotle discovered and as any psychotherapist will tell you, in order to care for others you need to be able to care about yourself."3 Do you want to care for others? Do you wish to raise a family? Do you want to have a meaningful relationship? Learn to love yourself.

How? The span of this blog cannot possibly answer that question. What we can do is look at some of the manifestations of love (not an exhaustive list by any standard) and turn them inwards. What do you do for someone you love? Flowers? Gifts? Understanding? Forgiveness? Can you get a gift for yourself? Can you show yourself forgiveness for mistakes?

This is not an easy task by any means…but it is worthwhile! Ask anyone who has done it. It is doable. You can love others…and you can love yourself too.

 

1. Vayikra 19:18

2. Yerushalmi Nedarim 30b

3. Phillipa Perry …article in The Guardian

 

 

Have A Great Shabbat!laughing

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