I have not been able to solve this one.

This is not about new mistakes. Those are understandable. New situations sometimes demand quick decisions and we wrongly apportion the priorities. That can be chalked up to a lack of experience. Or even if these new situations don’t demand quick decisions we can still make mistakes regarding the repercussions of our decisions.

Old mistakes that get made over and over again are the most troublesome ones. We cannot say it was a new situation - it just ain't. We cannot say we weren’t aware of the repercussions - Been there done that too. And we know that we want to stop - at least that’s what we tell ourselves.

This week's parsha, Parshat Haazinu is the fourth consecutive parsha that discusses what happens if we do not follow the Torah. Has it stopped us as a people from doing mass wrongs? Or do individuals look at the Torah and say I shouldn’t do this cause something bad may happen? There are those special ones who are constantly positively affected by the words of the Torah. Even we are at times affected. So in those cases where we are "repeat-offenders", what makes us ignore all that and take the extra piece of cake or cigarette, get angry with our spouses or kids, gossip, withhold charity and do other major and minor infractions?

There may be different reasons for different mistakes. Here are just 4 of a myriad of reasons.

  1. Do we really want to change the behavior? Repeated mistakes may have a reason. We usually are getting some pleasure from it. The pleasure may be on the physical, psychological or social realms.
  2. Routine - I've always done it this way. Sound familiar? Or, this was the way my parents did it…almost sounds as if it would be disrespectful to change these behaviors.
  3. We don’t have the time/patience/money to do things right.
  4. Our brain overlooks imperfection at times and focuses on the big picture.2(worth looking at this footnote)

I still don’t know the answer for myself. I don't like not knowing. I just haven't really figured it out yet. But I do know that if we are going to continue to make mistakes, and we will because we are human,5 then I want to know what to do after.

I try.

I try to do better. I try not to hurt anyone. And I have this moment in time to utilize to make that change. At every moment in time we have the ability to change.3 Maybe this too is also the lesson of Yom Kippur. Not just the fasting but the change that we can affect within us, within ourselves. How thrilling! How exciting! We can change and control our lives.

Correcting mistakes, really correcting them, can give you a great sense of pride in yourself and your self-worth. Enjoy the feeling.

Like the song from the 70's, - "Break up to make up"4, maybe we make mistakes just to feel what it's like to correct them. Enjoy the feeling.

Gmar chatima tova

  1. Devarim 32:15-26
  2. This following paragraph is used as an example of this point - "I cdn'uolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg: the phaonmneel pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rseearch taem at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe."
  3. Viktor Frankl 's logotherapy concepts of the meaning of the moment and living in the present allows us the freedom to make changes.
  4. Stylistics, 1973. The rest of the song says how it's not smart to break up to make up and not a way to live. Though most couples have some disagreements during their married lives and many learn to patch them up.
  5. Kohelet (Ecclesiastes) 7:20

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Have A Great Shabbat!laughing

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