Surrender to What Is
Surrender is not a word with pleasant connotations. I think of it in context of losing a war. “lee surrenders to Grant at Appomattox.” Or, “Germany surrenders to allied forces.” Surrendering is not something I might wish to do.
And so, when I read the following idea in this week’s parsha it struck me as challenging and reminded me of a logotherapeutic concept.
Yakov, as we know, was given a second name – Yisrael. The two names seem to be used interchangeably. Rabbi Hirsch believes that the name Yakov is used when Yakov is heartbroken. From the moment Yosef is sold, for instance, we find the name Yakov is used.
Once the regional famine starts to impact on his family, we would expect him to continue to be a bit down in the dumps. “That feeling of being dependent on others, when a person is ‘limping’ along following life-changing events…” would certainly be indicative of a situation where the name Yakov would be used.
And so, Rabbi Hirsch is surprised to find the name Yisrael being used not only before Yosef is returned home but even before he knows that Yosef is still alive. He is definitely between a rock and a hard place. He doesn’t want to send Binyamin down to Egypt. Yet he also realizes that the situation has changed. Until that moment, his interest in watching over Binyamin, the remaining son of his beloved wife, Rachel, could be served only by keeping him close to home, or so he believed.
He now only began to understand that he had no control over the situation and that Binyamin might have to make the trek to Egypt with his brothers. He was willing to surrender to the circumstances and just by making that one adjustment he changed to Yisrael, the name that reflected a higher sense of self. He was able to surrender the outcome of the situation to God. As the Psalmist writes, “Cast the burden of your path unto the Lord, trust in Him and He will bring it to pass.”2
So Yakov reached a higher sense of himself - a self-transcendence.
My teacher, Dr. Teria Shantall, a student of Dr. Viktor Frankl writes about a particularly difficult moment in her life, “As much as it was a point of utter determination, it was also a point of surrender. I had given up on myself, on the self-centered way of living my life….We see life as full of surprises, unexpected blessings, as very close and dear to us. We love life, unconditionally, for what it is, always was and promises to be. In love with life, we surrender to it in awe!”
I am a lover of what is, not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality” Byron Katie
Surrendering to “what is” can be very challenging. It is certainly not always easy. The difficult circumstances facing a person can create havoc in his life.
We naturally wish to retain control of situations. It definitely helps our sense of stability. But there are times when the situation is inherently unstable and scary. It is precisely in those moments we are challenged to surrender our need for control. That doesn’t mean to give up. On the contrary, it is a way of reorganizing my thoughts and plan of action. “I am a lover of what is, not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality,” says Byron Katie.5
Just as when we surrender ourselves to the moment when we are on a mountaintop viewing nature’s beauty, listening to our favorite music, or just spending time with friends and family, so, too, logotherapy challenges us in uncertain situations to surrender ourselves to what is.
And when we can be successful in doing that, we rise to a higher version of our selves.
Image by Nandu Vasudevan from Pixabay.
Footnotes
- Bereishit 43:6 and Rabbi Hirsch’s commentary on site
- Tehillim 37:5
- Shantall, Teria. The Lıfe-changıng Impact of Vıktor Frankl's Logotherapy (p. 98). Springer International Publishing. Kindle Edition.
- p. 26
- Katie, Byron; Mitchell, Stephen. Loving What Is, Revised Edition: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life; The Revolutionary Process Called "The Work" (p. 4). Harmony/Rodale/Convergent. Kindle Edition.
Have A Great Shabbat!
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