Taking Responsibility - Parshat Vayikra

We become excited when we do something well. It helps our self-esteem. It gives us a boost - and the more significant it is the greater it impacts us. It can even carry us through our day. We relish in those days.

There are other days, when we make mistakes. They similarly impact us but with a negative sense of self. We can become embarrassed and try to cover up what we did from others and even sometimes from ourselves.

What do we do on those days? We find the Torah, in Parshat Vayikra, first of all, asking us to take responsibility for our actions.1 If we do good things we are happy to take responsibility. When we make mistakes, however, we are more reluctant to admit to ourselves or to others that we have erred. Making a mistake is not only an isolated activity. It is an emotional experience as well. Just as we are happy when doing something well, we become upset when we err. It impacts upon us and our self-esteem. How do we correct it? How do we prevent feelings of frustration or disappointment in oneself from causing a sense of depression? There is a process which the Torah teaches us.

The first step in this process, Maimonides teaches us, is to admit the error.2 Only then can he start on any path of correcting his mistake. If one is not able to do that, if one cannot see the error, then he obviously sees no reason to correct anything and the action will continue to impact upon him. When one does admit his error, he takes responsibility. He is empowered.

When Alcoholics Anonymous introduced their famous 12 Step Program, they understood that taking responsibility for one's past is crucial in the recovery process, and admitting one's errors became one of those 12 steps.3

Admission is crucial for us to start correcting what we've done and to help us return to our own individual path towards fulfilling our meaning in life. It is crucial for our happiness. It is crucial for our self-esteem.

When Dr. Viktor Frankl visited inmates in a maximum security prison, he spoke with them about taking responsibility for the crime they were incarcerated for. Frankl was later approached and told that his speech was so clear and powerful that when one of the inmates in fact did take responsibility for his crime, he felt a sense of relief wash over him.4  It didn’t remove the action or change the past but he was then able to move on and no longer feel stuck.5

Admitting our error actually empowers us to continue on our path towards a meaningful life.

 Notes

  1. Leviticus 5:5
  2. Mishneh Torah, Laws of Repentance 1:2
  3. http://www.aa.org.au/members/twelve-steps.php - note step number 5.
  4. Frankl, 1992
  5. This quote from Frankl's book 'The Doctor and the Soul' illustrates this point beautifully - "And repentance, as Scheler has shown, has the power to wipe out a wrong; though the wrong cannot be undone, the culprit himself undergoes a moral rebirth. This opportunity to make past events fruitful for one’s inner history does not stand in opposition to man’s responsibility, but in a dialectical relationship. For guilt presupposes responsibility. Man is responsible in view of the fact that he cannot retrace a single step; the smallest as well as the biggest decision remains a final one. None of his acts of commission or omission can be wiped off the slate as if they had never been. Nevertheless, in repenting man may inwardly break with an act, and in living out this repentance – which is an inner event – he can undo the outer event on a spiritual, moral plane."  (p. 108)

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