Treat Your Kids Equally? – Parshat Vezot Haberacha

Shouldn’t this be obvious by now? Doesn’t everyone know this? Like, duh. Well, the truth is we cannot possibly treat them equally really. Each one is different. Yeah – but this blog is called 'Treat Your Kids Equally'. Make up my mind!

It is a bit confusing as parents. Or as managers/team leaders. Or as coworkers. Or as people. There are so many methods which we are told are the right or wrong way to communicate with others. And the reality is that each situation is different - so possibly the best advice is to be on your toes and be flexible while being true to your own values.

We see an example of this in this week's parsha,1 Vezot Haberacha. Moshe, on his last day, gives the people a blessing. Yet, he does not satisfy himself with a general blessing. He gives each tribe its own individual blessing; much as Jacob did hundreds of years earlier. To some he gave prowess, to some spiritual success, to some fruitful land and to some leadership. Rabbi Yitzchak Karo2 pointed out the possible strife that might occur as one tribe notices and compares the blessings the other tribes received with its own blessings. Therefore, he writes, Moshe added at the end a general blessing which is inclusive of all the blessings so that there will be no such internal strife. Everyone was blessed with prowess, spiritual success, fruitful land and leadership.

Note their individuality and focus on their unity. They are different and the same. This requires a balancing act – a quite delicate one as we are dealing, as Rabbi Karo points out, with human emotion.

In dealing with other humans in general, we are always to be mindful of the effect our words may have.

With the knowledge that each person has their own importance and uniqueness,3 we have the opportunity and privilege of being able to assist others in their fulfilling their own unique meaning. Yet they are also part of a group, a larger body with which they identify. To create a situation which would impede another's search for meaning goes not only against our sense of not harming others, it also gets in the way of our own path to meaning. Part of our own path is to be aware of and helpful to others.4

I would love to be able to write the right way to speak with people. I would wish this for myself as well. It's not enough, however, to just paraphrase the Hippocratic Oath and say, "I will say no harmful things". Obviously, there is no one right way. But that does not absolve us – on the contrary, it obligates us.

To fill our own lives with more meaning we must also look for the 'right' words to say to others. They are part of who we are and who we can become.

Click here to see another logoParsha article on this parsha

Notes

  1. Actually it's kind of strange calling it this week's parsha, especially since it's not even read on Shabbat. But it is the next parsha we read and so, can be the focus of this blog.
  2. Rabbi Yitzchak Karo was included in the expulsion of Jews from Spain and later from Portugal in the 1490's. He was also the uncle of Rabbi Yosef Karo.
  3. In a blog I wrote about a year ago – see here
  4. A search for meaning and that the meaning must be other-directed are basic principles in Viktor Frankl's logotherapy

Have A Great Shabbat!laughing

For More Information On Logotherapy And How You Can Create A Fuller, More Meaningful Life, Or To Book An Online Session,

  1. Call Me At +972-54-589-3399, or in Israel 054-5893399
  2. Contact Me Thru My Site