In the quest for deeper meaning, we often forget to pay attention to the obvious. Frankl posits, ‘The therapist should enable the patient to see the world as it is.’

Why do we ignore the obvious?

For one thing, we are blind to the reality in front of us because we are immersed in the reality that is within us. This includes everything that preoccupies us and prevents us from being present: beliefs, emotional reactivity, misperceptions and more.

Defensiveness, anxiety, jealousy or resentment always bring a distorted interpretation of reality. Emotional charges don't allow the truth of a situation to reveal itself. Seen through the lens of low self-esteem, you feel slighted by a friend’s downcast face and overlook the signs that your friend is having a bad day. Reality ‘as it is’ is concealed from view.

The only way to have a clear perception of truth is to put any projections, assumptions or judgments aside and simply see what is. What is going on in the situation? What are other people doing? What am I feeling? What am I observing? Lay it all out on the table, including your own inner experience as if you are seeing it from an outside perspective.  

The block comes from without as well. From the side of reality, people hide their feelings. You ask someone how they are feeling and they say ‘Fine.’ when they are not at all fine. Whatever the reason, the ability to perceive the deeper significance of a situation hinges on first and foremost paying attention to the cues that are right in front of you. What are their facial expressions telling you? What is their body language indicating? What can you sense in their energy?

It doesn’t mean that you should force the answer out of them. It could be that they don’t want to share with you. It could be that they are trying to make themselves feel better. But it is only after you notice what is happening that you can decide what to do about it.