When I ask you to listen to me and you start giving advice, you have not done what I asked.
When I ask you to listen and you begin to tell me why I shouldn't feel that way, you are trampling on my feelings.
When I ask you to listen and you feel you have to do something to solve my problem, you have failed me, strange as that may seem.
Listen! All I asked was that you listen, not talk or do, just hear me!
And I can do for myself. I am not helpless; maybe discouraged and faltering, but not helpless
So please listen to me. And if you want to talk, wait a minute for your turn and Iâll listen to you.â
~ Anonymous
What do you think of what the author of the above is expressing?
Do you ever feel this way?
How about your teen/young adult children? Have they ever expressed anything like this to you?
Isn't this what we all want?
Parents often complain that their kids, especially their teens, do not listen to them. And one of the greatest complaints by teenagers and young adults is that their parents do not listen to them either. That makes for a very frustrating relationship!
What is the most effective way to break this cycle?
The solution can be found in the question / complaint.
It's simple. Just listen.
We are the best teachers of anything we want to have by being that which we want to see.
What?
Let me break it down more simply. If you want others to listen to you (and this message goes out to parents AND teens/young adults alike), you start listening, really listening. Because when people feel heard, and I mean really heard, they will be more open and ready to listening to you too.
So, let's cut out the noise (and that includes anything and everything that is creating a barrier between you and your teen, or your mom and dad, or your partner, or your roommate, or anyone else) and make the effort to really listen to one another.
For more tips on how to be a great listener, click here.