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Michael J. Salamon
Even though the Denver Broncos did not make it past the first phase of the playoffs, they made a name for themselves this past football season, not so much because they actually made it to the playoffs, a feat one would have been hard pressed to believe at the start of the season, but for their scrappy quarterback. At the beginning of this season, Tim Tebow was a 24-year-old second stringer. He was known for shaky passing and a slippery running game but he has since become a bit of an icon. His last name is no longer just his appellation but as noted in the front-page New York Times article of January 14th he has become a TV draw and his last name has become a verb. What has he done that makes him so famous? Ask any teenager who has even a minimal passing interest in football. They will show you what has become the Tebow pose. What we should recognize as the statue of Rodinâs The Thinker, which in a previous generation was made most famous by televisions Dobie Gillis a show that aired from 1959 to 1963, is now referred to as âTebowing.â Tim Tebow has become a sports phenom who is referred to as a âmiracle manâ by sportscasters. This acknowledgement is not because of his special quarterbacking skills but because of his display of his faith. He Tebowâs at games , assuming the pose of The Thinker but in fact uttering a brief prayer, whenever he is about to enter the game or after a successful play. It may have not been enough to help his team win a championship but it certainly drew attention to his religious convictions. He is the kind of modest person that draws mothers to hold up signs at professional football games in the hope that he will consider marrying their daughter.
In 2001, a study of almost 1300 eighth graders found that religious involvement had the largest impact on their sense of self-esteem. Apparently being a participant in religious activity helps adolescents feel better about themselves. While race and gender contribute to self-esteem, the positive teachings of religion and sharing the support of a family in a nurturing religious context seem to have the greatest impact. This finding has been shown to be relatively consistent across religions, cultures, and countries. Belonging to a religious family and community helps adolescents feel grounded and secure.
A plethora of more recent studies has found that teens that have a sense of religion and spirituality have a greater sense of life satisfaction than adolescents whose families are not religiously affiliated. Religion also helps reduce stress in the life of a teenager. The benefits of religious belief and affiliation are readily apparent throughout the research literature. There is however, one major caveat. When adolescents are exposed to what researchers refer to as ânegative religious copingâ which is defined as seeing religious figures as punitive and excessively demanding, they are more likely to have high levels of stress and symptoms of depression than those raised in an environment where beliefs are presented in the context of support and spiritual connection. Moreover, in a study reported in the Journal Mental Health, Religion & Culture in 2011 it was found that intense family religiousness might exacerbate a troubled teenâs slide into becoming âat riskâ supporting previous findings. Additionally, when adolescents feel a comfortable bond with their religion, they are less likely to experiment with drugs and if they do experiment, they lessen their use compared to teens without a religious connection.
Perhaps the most interesting finding is something that we see in Mishlei (1:8) and in the Iggeres HaRamban - vall titosh toras emecha. In the Journal of Psychology, Religion, and Spirituality researchers report that maternal spiritual support has the strongest impact on an adolescentâs choice of friends who are also spiritual. The bond with similarly oriented friends enhances their developing a spiritual connection to religion. Strong intervention programs like scared straight and adolescent boot camps to keep teenagers in line are, according to the most definitive research available, not as effective in helping teenagers as nurturing and supportive ones. A warm maternal approach is the best.
It is not likely that the Angels sit around and root for their team on Super bowl Sunday. G- d surely does not have a favorite quarterback. Nevertheless, there is an important message in this yearâs âTebowingâ phenomenon. Tim Tebow is not afraid to express his religious beliefs. He was modest in his winning and accepting of his losses. He did not present himself as some wild, out of control sports hero who could demand and receive whatever he wanted especially in the sport of football where life is lived on the rough and tumble edge of society. He also did not present himself as a role model. There are, though, aspects of his life that we all can learn from. Acceptance, modesty and a strong spiritual connection without pressure and with warmth help to keep people grounded and spiritually focused. Our teens would benefit from less pressure and more acceptance and love.
Dr. Michael Salamon, a fellow of the American Psychological Association, is the founder and director of ADC Psychological Services in Hewlett, New York and a board member of P'TACH. He is the author of numerous articles and several psychological tests and books including "The Shidduch Crisis: Causes and Cures" (Urim Publications) and "Every Pot Has a Cover" (University Press of America). His newest book is called Abuse in the Jewish Community: Religious and Communal Factors that Undermine the Apprehension of Offenders and the Treatment of Victims. He can be followed at @DrMJSalamon.