Pesach cleaning this year I came across a paper I had written for an English assignment when I was fifteen. I recalled my English teacher giving us an assignment to write about an incident that changed your life. What I wrote about still effects me, today.
"Your sister married out" I reeled back in shock with the innocence of a nine year old I whispered "you're making it all up!" "No I am not" she hotly replied "My mom told me it is true and I am going to tell everyone." I ran out of the bathrooms crying. I quickly went into my classroom I grabbed my coat and my schoolbag. I hid under the stair case until the end of school, when I heard the bell ring I ran all the way home.
I stayed in my room. My head was spinning it felt heavy. I had a pounding headache. I could not believe it, this could not be true. No one mentioned Sara's name I knew she was alive but it seem she did not exist. I had no idea what had happened to her. A few hours had passed; I fell into a restless sleep. I came down for supper but when I ate the food tasted like chalk as if I was choking myself. Halfway through I had had enough I went from the kitchen. I curled up on the couch in the living room and sobbed. My older sister came in she asked if I wanted to talk. We went for a drive, I reluctantly told her everything.
The next day I refused to go to school, and the next. The days turned into nights; one after the other, they merged together. I stopped smiling. I would cry all the time. I stayed in my room most of the day and the rest I fitfully slept. I thought deeply, my head was full of loathsome thoughts. I lost a tremendous amount of weight. I spoke only when I had too. Everyone was bad and they all hated me. The world was a dark crazy place with only mean people. I did not want to smile or feel alive.
It was Saturday night my parents came into my room and turned on the light. I was angry with them. Why were they disturbing me? I did not want to speak to them, they were my enemy. They told m e I need to go to the doctor. I did not want to leave my bedroom. I had not ventured outside for three weeks. Extremely unenthusiastically I went.
That night there was no more monsters on the wall. They use to frighten me; they were enormous they would all laugh at me; they were scary. They were for bad girls. I was a bad girl, was petrified. I would hide under my blankets and silently scream. Hey waned to take me away. But that night I fell asleep straight away.
The next morning I came downstairs I sat on the couch. My father was there and he asked me what he could do to help me smile. I ignored him I did not want to smile; there was nothing to smile for. He leaned over and said "Please Leah, I will do anything to make you smile, anything to make you happy. I love you" he was crying. I cringed, I had never seen my big strong daddy cry, only once at my grandfathers funeral. Was he crying for me? Did he really love me? I smiled for the first time in a month.
The next day I smiled three more times. I started getting restless and bored I wanted to go back to school. I finally realized my family was my friend. I laughed. I listened to music. I played on the computer. I went out. I was becoming more like the old Leah.
Looking back at this time in my life, I do not feel anger but sad over what I went through. I have learnt from this experience and have come out of it more mature. I am now able to empathize with someone going through a similar painful experience.