It’s Sunday evening and the sun is starting to set. It was a pleasant day, but nevertheless, the general sense of wellbeing that seemed so pervasive a few hours earlier is beginning to diminish. A vague, gnawing feeling slowly manifests itself. With the passing of each moment, this indistinct sensation gradually takes form and suddenly the harsh realization strikes: “Oh no! The weekend is just about over!” A series of recriminations runs through your mind. You find yourself lamenting: “Where did the time go? It seems like only minutes ago it was Friday afternoon. I hardly had any fun.” Then finally, all these thoughts coalesce into one stark epiphany: “I really hate my job!”
Why do so many people harbor such negative feelings about their job and become so despondent on Sunday evening? There can be many reasons for job dissatisfaction. Some of the more common ones include: job-related boredom, job-related stress, poor pay, an authoritarian boss, or nasty co-workers.
When a job seems too boring, we have to wonder whether we are, in some way, holding ourselves back. Is it possible that we are ignoring opportunities for undertaking more responsibilities because we are afraid of taking a risk? There are people who might have an opportunity to advance in their profession, but avoid doing so for fear of failure. It might be useful for such a person to explore the origin of this fear and determine whether it is realistic. Are you relegating yourself to a particular career only because someone once told you that you could never succeed at the type of job that would satisfy your needs? What could be sadder than someday admitting to yourself that you never having had the opportunity to engage in the type of work that would have resonated with your soul? Ask yourself if additional education would help you qualify for the type of work that would enhance your life satisfaction. As Thomas Edison once said: “We often miss opportunity because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.”
On the other hand, is it possible that you are dissatisfied with your job because you are minimizing the importance of what you do? A few years ago, I was working with a client who had suffered from psychotic episodes. At times, his condition necessitated psychiatric hospitalizations to insure his safety and that of others. Finally, at one point he was doing quite well. The treatment team at our clinic offered him an opportunity to earn money by working part-time in a porter-maintenance program. Initially he was thrilled, however, a couple of weeks later he informed me that he had decided to quit. He lamented the fact that all he was doing was sweeping and moping floors in the same psychiatric hospital where he had been a patient. I commented to him that he was doing a great service to the patients who were still too ill to leave the hospital. His efforts were enabling them to live in a clean environment. This reframing of his task had a significant impact on him and he decided to keep his job. Martin Luther King, Jr. said: “No work is insignificant. All labor that uplifts humanity has dignity and importance and should be undertaken with painstaking excellence.”
When a job seems too stressful, we should consider the possibility that our expectations of ourselves are unrealistic. Are we trying to do too much? Do we expect ourselves to be perfect? Do we mistakenly believe that there is no margin for making even the smallest mistake? It is essential to set practical expectations; trying to be perfect leaves no room for error and leads to stress. If you do make an error, and no one seems to be as upset as you, learn to practice “self-compassion” which, simply defined, means to be as forgiving towards yourself as you would be to others.
When dealing with a boss or colleague who seems unreasonable, sometimes learning a few basic assertiveness skills can make a tremendous difference in the way you respond. Everyone can learn to be assertive without being aggressive. Furthermore, practicing assertive skills will also enhance one’s self-esteem.
That being said, one must also keep in mind that in today’s economy, changing jobs can be difficult, and it is understandable that one would be reluctant to give up a secure job, no matter how disagreeable it might be. For those of us who are stuck in jobs where the pay is low but the workload is high, there are ways to minimize the “Sunday Evening Blues.” Finding ways to enjoy one’s free time is essential. Make an effort to develop hobbies and interests that will allow you to enjoy the rich potential of life. By the same token, learn to enjoy the simple things in life. Try to maintain an awareness of pleasures that are ubiquitous but ignored. For example, when you get into bed after a difficult day, do you take delight in the pleasurable sensations of your snuggly bed, fluffy pillow and cozy covers? Do you focus on these sensations or on the acrimony you experienced at work?
Make an effort to enjoy every moment with your loved ones, taking nothing for granted. Try to experience the world with the same sense of wonder as a child. A gratitude inventory will help you remember all the things for which you should feel fortunate and grateful. Do not walk though life with closed eyes and ears. Experience the world with all of your senses. When all is said and done, trying some of the suggestions above may help make your job more tolerable. Keep things in prospective and try to anticipate the week with renewed energy.
Dr. Joel Verstaendig is a psychologist with over 30 years of clinical experience. He is an engaging public speaker whose presentations are informative, educational, and entertaining. He can be reached at: [email protected] or 516-933-6196. Visit his website: www.drjoelvpsychology.com.