The challenge in a couple going for marital therapy results from the fact that the spouses feel that there is nothing wrong with them and why should they have to be in therapy just because of their spouse’s shortcomings. Whereas in individual therapy the client knows that something is wrong and seeks help with his or her personal problem, in marriages it is much easier to disown the problem. In order to overcome this obstacle, one would need to take a step back and look at the marriage as its own entity and based on that decide whether the marriage is functional or needs professional intervention.
Although functional marriages are also prone to occasional friction, conflicts are usually not so intense and are resolved in a timely and effective manner. In a dysfunctional marriage, however, the conflicts tend to be intense and create an ongoing buildup of frustration and resentment. This causes spouses to become more and more distant from each other and less committed to the marriage. Being that trying to escape from the marital issues only offers temporary relief, and in the long run only perpetuates the problem; the couple is ultimately heading towards divorce.
An additional hindrance to seeking professional help is the lack of trust in the ability to fix the marriage through marriage therapy. Although marital therapy is relatively a new field compared to other types of therapy and the research is limited, there have been considerable advancements in the last few decades. Emotional Focused Therapy in particular is known to have a success rate of 70-75 percent in achieving complete recovery and has demonstrated significant improvement in 90 percent of the couples. This should provide a couple with a sense of hope and trust in being able to achieve results through a competent marriage therapist.
A couple may often think that they are able to resolve their marriage between themselves. Although this may be possible, it can also be misleading. Being that going for outside help is unpleasant; people tend to convince themselves that the marriage will somehow get resolved on its own. Thus, it is important to set a certain time frame by which they expect to achieve some resolution. This will assure that that they will get the help they need within a reasonable amount of time. Being that couples typically are enmeshed and limited in their objectivity regarding the issues related to their marriage, a small amount of professional intervention could go a long way in providing long term relief to couples and families.