Rabbi Richard Louis Price, M.D.

I am writing these reflections on the Newtown, Connecticut Massacre for The Jewish Press December
20, 2012. Most likely, by the time these words have been published, we will have more information
and greater insight and understanding as to what went wrong on that tragic day. Nevertheless, for the
sake of my own catharsis and hopefully for the benefit of the readers of this publication, I share my own
humble perspective.

It is amazing to me how the same incident has provoked such a diversity of sincere, passionate and
yet opposing responses to what we can learn from this experience to make our world a better place
to live, like the proverbial tabula rasa or blank screen onto which we can project and further our own
preconceived agenda on what is wrong with our world in general and how we can fix it.

How can a G-d or at least a benevolent G-d allow the slaughter of innocent children and their noble
teachers? Does G-d permit Nature and human nature to simply run its devastating course through
Hurricane Sandy and Sandyhook for the greater, ultimate good, so that we can grow as individuals and
come together? Was this an act of evil or of illness? Should we beat our swords into plowshares and
remove or restrict all or some types of firearms or protect the rights of individuals to protect themselves
in times of need? Is this the result of poor parenting, a failed mental health care system, inadequate
school security or the general glorification of violence in music, media and gaming? How are we
supposed to feel and react? What are we supposed to tell our own children to help them feel safe and
secure?

Hopefully, in the coming weeks and months we can focus on learning as many lessons as possible
from this event and instead of debating which one thing went wrong, come up with numerous private
and public initiatives to live more peacefully together. Worse than arguing though, would be allowing
these lives to have been lost in vain through our doing very little to change, reverting to the familiar
status quo, as time passes and memory fades until we face the next crisis.

With this introduction, as a rabbi, psychiatrist, psychotherapist, professor and father, I offer you
an insider’s view into our current mental health system as it pertains to the Jewish community. I see
thousands, all sects, of Orthodox Jewish children, adults, couples in Monsey, New York. I teach and
consult with educational institutions. I love what I do. I love helping people. My colleagues and I are
dedicated, devoted, working very hard and achieving some amazing results in improving people’s
lives. The problem is that we as professional helpers cannot keep up with the rapidly increasing
psychopathology of modern living!

Perhaps the most common question people pose to me is: Doctor/Rabbi, “Am I normal?” The truth
is, we have evolved a new normal. The new normal for a growing number of people is: my child cannot
focus in school or behave properly with peers and siblings, I cannot find a shidduch, my spouse and I are
not getting along, I find it difficult to function at work or at home with the children, I am stressed out,
scared or sad a lot these days, I feel like I am obsessed with or addicted to…., I lose my temper a lot, It is
hard for me to sleep, I feel traumatized, I cannot handle looking and feeling older.

It is getting to the point that nearly everyone will need or at least could benefit from some
professional mental health services at some juncture in their lives. Given the vastness of our current
communal plight, it is simply not tenable to generate sufficient human and financial resources to
evaluate and treat every suffering individual in an office based setting so that tragedies such as what
occurred in Newtown never happen again. We must create a “new town.”


Here is one vision of a New-Town: since nearly all young people ages 5 to 18 are found in school and
most parents are somehow connected to their children’s school, the school setting is the ideal place for
a daily mental health prevention curriculum, geared to each developmental age and stage, conducted
in group settings. I find myself throughout the day repeating almost verbatim the same information one
to one to parents and students in my office that it would be so much more efficient and effective to
present the same material en mass. Like the Emperor’s New Clothes, people often ask, “Am I the only
one with this problem? Everyone else appears to be doing just fine.” Bring together a group of students
or of parents and you find that you are certainly not alone in your suffering.


The school setting is also preferable to the office setting in that it reduces the stigma of “mental
illness.” The school is neutral ground, a place for learning not just the three R’s but equally important,
how to live life well, how to manage stress, moods, anger, relationships. This kind of education is a
vaccine, an inoculation against the development of psychopathology and encourages kids and parents to
identify more serious problems earlier and seek professional help more readily.

This must become a required curriculum for colleges, yeshivas and seminaries as well since the ages
of 18 to 25 is a critical time for the first break of major mental illnesses, identity formation and laying
the foundation for healthy marital relationships to come. The workplace must also incorporate stress
management programs to improve communication and manage conflict before things escalate into
unproductive and wasteful power plays, and misusages of time and funds.

Finally, we all need to drop the mask of “normal.” Being an Orthodox Jew in the modern world is
normally very, very challenging, beautiful, meaningful but challenging: 613 Mitvahs, larger families,
a shrinking economy, rising educational costs, increasing expectations within an ever more open and
permissive society which often clashes with traditional values. It ain’t easy! It has become “abnormal”
or not the norm to feel good most of the time. If this is you, congratulations, you are in an evanescent
minority.

Please ask your neighbor or your co-worker or your student or you fellow shul member or your
spouse or your child, “Are you feeling okay? Please answer honestly, “Baruch HaShem, not really.” We
need to help each other in our New-Town. One kind word or even just listening can literally save a life.
One more criticism, harsh word or act can be the Makeh B’patash or last straw that could set someone
off to take their own life and lives around them. Let us come together, learn and heal from this ordeal in
whatever way we can.

Rabbi Richard Louis Price, M.D. is a Yale and Columbia University trained Diplomate of The American
Board of Psychiatry & Neurology, Assistant Clinical Professor of Weill Cornell Medical College/New
York-Presbyterian Hospital, Medical Director of Bikur Cholim of Rockland County and has a private
psychotherapy and psychopharmacology practice in Monsey, New York where he resides with his wife
and four children.