It’s midnight before the big exam, and you’re just pulling out the book to study. The garage is full of junk, and you’ve been promising to clear it out since the Mets won the World Series. There are so many things to do, they need to get done right now, and yet they linger on the list. What’s going on here? Why can’t we just get things done?

The concept seems simple enough. Something needs to get done, so do it! But somehow, it doesn’t always work that way. We tell ourselves there’s no time, or we suddenly become interested in doing something else. Anything else, really. Time to prepare your taxes? But the plants need watering! Homework due tomorrow? Suddenly it’s time to catch up on all the news you missed last week. And so on. Procrastination is pervasive, yet seldom understood or conquered. Why do we put off doing things that need to get done?

Why We Procrastinate

The myth of procrastination is that it is caused by a lack of discipline, willpower or self-control. This is rarely the case. Perhaps the simplest way to explain this phenomenon is that we put off tasks that make us uncomfortable. Certain activities, such as taking out the garbage, can be unpleasant. Other activities, such as exercising, can take a lot of effort, especially if they aren’t ingrained as a habit. Cleaning out that closet can seem like it will take forever. Preparing a will or setting up life insurance is a task fraught with often unconfronted fears of death. It can be easier to avoid all of these. And, to complicate matters further, our feelings about the tasks on our list are often below the level of our awareness.

Here is a list of some characteristics of activities we push off. (Keep in mind that one task can have multiple characteristics, and that this is a simplified list.)

Large tasks: We put off cleaning the house, learning a language, and planning a vacation because these tasks seem daunting and insurmountable. We may not know where to start, and we may be afraid that we’ll never finish.

Take going to the gym as an example. Your brain has a field day with this! If you want to go to the gym, you may naturally think about all that is involved with the trip. And your brain will be off to the races: What if your shoes don’t fit? The parking in that neighborhood is a pain. What if there are no machines available to use? Should you buy a membership? Maybe you should bring your own music, since you don’t really like the music they pipe in. And what about the next time? Will you really be able to do this on a consistent basis? Next Tuesday there’s a wedding. Will you able to go then? And you can’t just exercise without dieting as well! What kind of food plan should you go on? And so on, and so on. Thus, a relatively simple task like going to the gym one time becomes a monumental undertaking. We get overwhelmed, and we don’t even start.

These items can stay on our to-do lists for days, months or even years, taking up brain space and causing much anxiety. And sometimes, the sheer number of the things on our to-do list can paralyze us as well.

Things we want to do well: Writing a research paper, updating a resume, and creative projects are good examples of things we want to do well. We fear we won’t be able to do them perfectly, or that we will fail, so we don’t do them at all. “It will never be good enough, so I may as well not do it.”

Fortune telling: We put off applying for a job, asking forgiveness, or pursuing a relationship because we are concerned about the outcome. We may be afraid of rejection or harsh criticism. Often, we tell ourselves a story about what the outcome will be before we even start. Of course, this causes us to not want to start in the first place.

Fears or insecurities: Going to the doctor, dieting or exercising, even pursuing a dream can bring up deep-seated fears, anxieties, or self-doubt: What is that pain in my knee? Will I need surgery? Can I lose weight and keep it off? What if I can’t? What if I try to start my dream business and find I’m just not cut out for it? Often lurking below our level of awareness, these feelings cause us to do anything to avoid confronting our worst nightmares. Subconsciously, it’s easier to think we could have succeeded rather than to know for sure that we can not.

Underlying distress: Often procrastination is accompanied by shame and guilt. We feel badly and berate ourselves for our lack of action. The longer we have been procrastinating, the greater the shame and guilt. The anxiety of an undone task grows as well each time we put it off. So as we procrastinate, the difficult emotions grow, and the more effort it takes to finally accomplish the task.

Tips for Overcoming Procrastination

Now that you know some of the underlying causes of procrastination, you can try to work through some of the angst. Here are a few specific tips:

Put the lie to putting off:A common underlying thought when putting something off is: “I’ll feel better if I don’t think about this now” or “It will be easier to do it later.” The truth is exactly the opposite. The shame, guilt and anxiety associated with procrastinating only gets worse with time, never better. And so, in an effort to feel better, we make ourselves feel worse. Instead, we can choose momentary discomfort (doing the action) over longer-term pain (procrastinating). If we don’t do it now, we are not free. We pay for it in stress. Feeling better about our workload comes from doing the things that we want to be doing.

Break it down: This works especially well for tasks that are overwhelmingly large or long. We think about the entire task and we’re exhausted before we start. The truth is that the only way to accomplish any task is to take one step at a time.

Force yourself to pick one small step to start with. Don’t spend too much time thinking about what to do - that will give the anxiety time to kick in. Action is the name of the game here. Pick a small piece of the task, and do it. In the best cases, this can lead to a sense of relief of having started the job, and it will be much easier to continue than it was to start. Continuing with this technique, focus on doing small, manageable pieces of the puzzle. Before you know it, you will have done a whole lot.

Embrace imperfection: Being perfect is exhausting. It’s also impossible! The idea of perfection is so daunting that it scares us away from even trying. Be realistic, and lower the bar. This is painful for perfectionists, but necessary if they are to be productive. Say to yourself: “I’m going to do a pretty good job. And that will have to be good enough.”

Use a timer: An old-fashioned egg timer or the timer on your phone will do. The goal here is just to get started. Remember, it’s much easier to continue than to start. Set the timer for a short amount of time (15 minutes, or even 5), and get going. No distractions. When the timer buzzes, it’s up to you to decide if you want to stop or keep on going.

Do a cost-benefit analysis: This is a more advanced technique. Try to figure out what you gain from procrastinating. Take a piece of paper and list the benefits of doing the task now alongside the benefits of putting off the task. Some payoffs to putting off may be: avoiding fears, retaining the right to feel bad or complain about it, taking the easy way out, or the hope that someone else may do it eventually. There are many payoffs to procrastination. That’s why we procrastinate in the first place! Bringing these hidden motives to the light is the first step to addressing them.

Focus on what you have already done: Too much focus on what still needs to be done can be overwhelming. If you’ve started the task, even just a little bit, give yourself a pat on the back. You’ve started! That’s great! Try this the next time you’re reading a book. How many of us flip to the back to see how many pages are left? Instead, try flipping to the front and show yourself how much you’ve already read.

Cut the list down to size: Are there things that have been on your list for weeks, months, or years? If something has been sitting untouched on your to-do list for that long, that may be an indication that you’re just not ready to do it. Cross it off, and let it go. When you are ready, you’ll come back to it. Or, if you want, keep a separate “wish list” and revisit it once a month or once a year.

If procrastination persists, and especially if it significantly interferes with your life, it may be time to consult a mental health professional. A therapist can help guide you through the issues that are holding you back, so that you can finally do all those things you wanted to. You can be free from the anxiety of procrastination. You can do it tomorrow. Or you can do it today.

Shimmy Feintuch, LMSW is an associate in private practice at Ratzon Counseling in Brooklyn, NY (Yitzi Horowitz, LCSW, Director). Shimmy is currently accepting referrals for adolescents and adults with issues on the depression and anxiety spectrums (including procrastination!). Email [email protected] or call (530) 334-6882.