Though many of our children do quite well in yeshiva, sometimes we come across a child who is head and shoulders above the rest of his class. Though one may think of this as a “good problem,” it is a problem nevertheless. The child suffers from mind-numbing boredom, and the adults suffer when that child acts out because he is going out of his mind. Children who are super unchallenged in school are often miserable. Sometimes to relieve that boredom they may act out – and thus compound their boredom with trouble.

Because “a mind is a terrible thing to waste,” and because we have not as of yet found a formula for dealing with the truly gifted child, many advocate skipping. The reasoning is that the child who is too advanced for his current grade may feel more fulfilled in a higher one. However, this concept of acceleration, colloquially called “skipping,” is complex and not necessarily an easy fix.

Solving the conundrum of the gifted child is quite a challenge. Though giftedness is a blessing, our society has not yet written a prescription for effectively dealing with it. And, whereas in the old days, children were skipped – again and again – today, it is not seen as the solution of choice.

Let me explain. When looking solely at a child’s talent, acceleration seems reasonable: put the child in the environment best suited to his cognitive skills. That was traditional thinking until quite recently. However, using a wide-angled lens, which encompasses all of the child’s development, addressing only his cognitive skills seems short-sighted and inadequate. In other words, just because a child could skipdoes not mean that he necessarily should.

Most of us know stories of intellectual giants who were advanced in school well ahead of their peers and who emerged as true leaders and stars. These child prodigies were able to accomplish unbelievable things, partly because they got a head start on their schooling. The opportunity provided them by acceleration and early admission to the yeshiva or school of their choice is a source of immense gratification for them and much nachas for their proud parents.

That’s when it works….

But quite often, acceleration – which seems like the answer – comes with its own set of problems. Yes, the child may achieve a great deal in the intellectual arena, but at what cost?

Children are more than just their cognitive ability: i.e. there’s more to a child than just being smart. But when only the academic is played up, other skills may fall by the wayside. We all have limited energy, and putting all our energy into one basket leaves little left for anything else. What may emerge, in many cases, is a smart kid with poor social skills, few friends, or zero athletic abilities or interests.

At the end of the day, we want a balanced child. To achieve this, we need to value his physical, emotional, and social development. We need to give the child the gift of time – to develop, grow up, and feel secure in himself and his accomplishments. We need to let the child’s many abilities – in many different spheres – unfold naturally. However, by sending the message that only the cognitive skills matter, we are conveying that these other skills are unimportant and can be ignored.

Children who are skipped often focus on their academic skills for other reasons as well. They are smaller and less mature than their peers so they have a hard time keeping up socially. They may miss their old group of friends, or find that their classmates resent them for being what they perceive as know-it-alls. So, yes, the child focuses on the academic and may achieve a prodigious amount in that one single arena, but this may impact negatively on him and his global development.

Despite all this, however, by no means should a parent ignore his child’s intellectual prowess. What I am suggesting is that skipping is not the answer: it is a gift that may become a burden. Instead, parents want to be creative in coming up with ways of channeling their child’s special abilities. Perhaps there is a schoolthat is geared towards mitzuyanim that a child can apply to. Or maybe there is a school with a pullout program with an emphasis on enrichment or math or science. Can the parent channel some of the child’s energy into some different interests, in addition to the schoolwork? Would he like to study something extra – say a foreign language – with a private teacher, or learn some skill likecalligraphy,art, or music? Harnessing a child’s energy in a broader fashion allows for the development of all aspects of his personality while all the while keeping him stimulated and on his toes.

Editor’s Note: Our society has made great progress in the field of educating children with special needs. However, there is less momentum to address the needs of the truly gifted children. If any of our readers are aware of programs or effective strategies that address the needs of the gifted, please email us and let us know.

Dr. Sara Teichman maintains a private practice in Los Angeles, California where she specializes in individual, parenting, and marital concerns. In addition, she is the Clinical Director at ETTA at OHEL. She is the author of a bi-weekly parenting column ‘Child in Mind – Ask Dr T’ in Binah magazine. Dr T also gives lectures on parenting and a variety of clinical issues in person and by teleconference all around the United States. To contact Dr. Teichman, email [email protected].