Last summer, the July column in Jewish Echo Magazine, answering the concerns of a man whose wife wanted to go to the bungalow, garnered a passionate response from readers. Here is my response, a little belated, concise, but addressing the salient points. You can refer to the blog article To the Catskills for the Summer: A Marital Dispute and the comments posted
It's not for nothing that there's an old joke that where there are two Jews there are three opinions. We are fortunate to live in a community where we have so many dedicated professionals and lay people who are interested in serving, informing, and educating the klal. Kudos to you for taking the time to write this eloquent response. The most salient point is that you advised consulting a rav regarding whether or not to go to the bungalow colony. In general, asking a sha'ailas chochom is always a good idea and I support it fully. (But if I use that as an answer in my columns, then I am left with nothing to write and I am out of column!).
In general, I don't look for dysfunction and problems (not even with my clients!), as I prefer to approach issues from a strength-based perspective; and that is why I did not address severe issues that may arise when a husband or wife is left alone during the week for thesummer. As you mentioned, and as every therapist knows, the summer does not create the dysfunctions of the couples or individuals you describe, it merely exacerbates a pre-existing condition. This column addresses a couple who is fully functional, without any signs of serious issues of frumkeit or in their relationships; and as such, I answered it in kind, weaving information relevant to the normal functioning and personal development of everyday parents and children into my response.
Families have a great time in the bungalow colony every summer, both b'ruchnius and b'gashmius, recharging their batteries for another invigorating year of learning and social success, and I hope you enjoy your summer similarly. You may want to try the bungalow colony some time; you just may see the other side!
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