As a parent, you chose your child’s Yeshiva carefully.  You met with the hanhala and with his rebbeim. 

I would like to introduce the men and women of the office, food service, and custodial staff at the Yeshiva and tell you a little bit about them.  Their names are quite familiar to your son.

Ella E. Itmar offers more accurate information.

Chava Ameena sounds good but her ideas never pan out.

Tanner Kama is quick, always first to comment.

Ma Scunner’s word is final.

Alibah D. Kuli Alma is universally popular.

Cy Tig tends to go off topic.

Bev Vorne anticipates problems.

Lou Yitzu-ar has a great imagination, he’s a wannabe sketch artist.

Tai Ku is inscrutable.  Only Eliyahu haNavi can explain him.

Haicha Timtza enjoys concretizing the abstract.

My Ika Lamaymar is often at a loss for words.

Abe Gavurcha tends to go on tangents.

Eisen A. Kashya asks great questions.

Sue Shtell likes to match things together.  You can hear the bochrim cheering her on, “Shtell it, Sue!”

Yom Tov Parenting Tips

Be sensitive and patient with your child when she is nervous about saying the Mah Nishtana in Yiddish.  Remember, they’re called the fear kashyos.

Bond with your children on Succos.  Teach them that the lulav is shaken, not stirred.

Halacha Q and A

Question: My grandmother gave me some money.  How much should I give to tzedakah?

Answer: Ten percent.  It is called Bubba Maaser.

Question: Due to health concerns, poor people don’t want to gather from the corners of my field.  Can I send it to them via Peah Pal?

Answer: That’s a very funny question!  You should use Giggle Pay!