Dearest  You,

I am filled with emotions as I sit here ready to free my heart and share my love and joy with you. For several months I felt something was missing I tried to put words on paper but the thoughts that were on my mind was pulling me down. One word kept on surfacing again and again as much as I tried to deny and reject I knew it was true. Alone, I felt lonely and I was losing hope. I vividly remember that knot in my stomach the ace in my heart the fear in my head. Loneliness and felling hopeless is not a good combination especially when I prefer to feel optimistic. I felt I was dragging my feet through thick mud and at times trying to surface from under water. Miserable, ashamed, lacking, selfish, were all strong feelings I endured these past months. I could not look in the mirror my warped thinking robbed me of the ability to be grateful for what I had. I disapproved of my reflection.   Fear filled me when I realized these feelings were overtaking my life.  I had to take deep breaths when the bolt of pain would come and try to wait patiently for it to pass. I knew it would take time I knew this could break me or make me stronger.  I still wonder where this hidden strength came from. Tonight for the first time in months I felt it, my friend my companion hope came back, hopefully forever. I happily waved goodbye to loneliness as my love for life and people filled me with a sense of joy bubbling over. I cannot contain myself I am feeling hopeful about my situation and realizing it is good Baruch Hashem. The past twenty-four hours I have experienced emotions and strong feeling both negative and now positive. I am so moved right now with gratitude and love to Hashem and everyone that helps me on my path.

Love Me,