Finding each other while getting lost

Part 1

With much gratitude to the almighty we recently celebrated our first wedding anniversary. I have learnt so much about myself and grown as a person and a wife with the loving support of my husband. I am so grateful for this forum, where I was able to express myself while I was searching for my soul mate.

When I started dating, I knew that at some point, when things become serious, I would have to tell the person that I was going out with about an issue that has affected my life.

This was a moment that I have been dreading. Because of the stigma that it carries, especially in the frum world, and even more so when it comes to Shidduchim.

Will he still see me for who I am? A person who is fully functional, that was given a challenge by Hashem, and grew despite the conditions? Or would he dismiss me completely, as if we never knew each other?

By the third date things were becoming more serious between the two of us. We felt comfortable around each other, we enjoyed each others company, and we seemed to have a good chemistry.

After spending a lovely day at the museum, we took a walk outside enjoying the beautiful weather. The sky was clear and blue, the sun was shining brightly, and there was a gentle cool breeze in the air.

And then came the moment of truth. ‘I need to head back to my hometown for work’ Ari says. I hold my breath. ‘Would you like to continue dating in Los Angeles?’

This could be it; this could make it or break it. I had to time my response correctly, so I ask Ari ‘can we please sit down?’ “sure” Ari replied in his soft calm demeanor. We chose a place under a thicket of trees. As we sat down on the bench I told Ari “There is something I need to tell you.”

Reassuringly Ari nods and I proceed. “There is a medical condition that I have, it is called bipolar.” I look at Ari, he softly nods, I don’t feel judged I feel comfortable to continue explaining. “This condition that I have is under control, and I have been living a healthy functional productive life.”

Ari acknowledges that he is familiar with the condition and that he knows of people who are affected by it, and with the proper medical guidance, can live a normal healthy life.

We continue to discuss the matter, how this can affect our lives together as a couple and as a family with children. Ari reassures me that nothing has changed, and he proceeded to ask me to fly to his hometown to continue dating.

I encouraged Ari to think it over and not make a decision on the spot. I knew that in order for this to work he had to really think it over, and come to a decision without pressure. I told Ari I was happy for him to discuss it with someone who he knows and trusts that he turns to for guidance.

Ari informed me that he has a medical professional that he has been seeing for therapy and that he would discuss it with him. Along with someone he knows who guides him spiritually.

After a few days of consulting with the right people Ari was advised to continue along with the help of a frum psychologist who can be objective and help us through to make sure we were making the best decisions for us.