Dear Therapist:
Our 8-year-old daughter is in day camp and keeps calling home saying she feels nauseous. She also goes to the nurse because she is scared she is going to throw up.
She does like camp, though she gets a little nervous about it, and we assume what she is feeling is related to that. Otherwise, she is a happy, healthy child, both physically and emotionally.
We are never sure how to help her with this. We cannot pick her up every day, but we would like to figure out some techniques or an approach that can help her manage these feelings. We would appreciate any ideas or suggestions you have. Thank you!
Response:
What you’re describing is not unusual. The assumption is that your daughter’s nausea is due to nervousness. Of course, there are other possibilities, but your sense is that her physical complaints are directly related to her feelings about being in day camp.
We all experience psychosomatic symptoms from time to time. Stress headaches and queasy stomachs are common examples. Psychosomatic symptoms are one way the brain lets us know that something is bothering us. Ideally, when we notice these physical sensations, we identify the underlying source and address it appropriately. As adults, we often understand the connection between our emotions and our bodies. Young children generally do not.
Often, psychosomatic symptoms occur because emotional concerns are not being recognized or processed. Those feelings may seem overwhelming, or we may feel that there is nothing we can do about them. In a sense, our brains are telling us that something needs attention. Otherwise, we can wind up focusing on relieving the symptoms rather than addressing the underlying issue.
Your daughter likely is not connecting her feelings of nausea with her nervousness about day camp. I don’t know that explaining this connection to her would necessarily be helpful. She may be able to talk about her nervousness at home, but while she is in camp she may feel that she cannot. If that is the case, she is left dealing only with the physical symptom while the underlying feeling goes unaddressed.
I don’t know whether the camp nurse is aware of your daughter’s nervousness about camp. Regardless, it might be helpful for the nurse to gently explore this with her. When your daughter complains of nausea, casually redirecting the conversation toward what may be bothering her emotionally can let her know that she has someone in camp with whom she can talk. The nurse can also reassure her that these feelings are not unusual and that they can be managed.
Perhaps you have also shifted your focus away from your daughter’s nervousness and onto her nausea. When an issue isn’t discussed, we often avoid it, hoping it will simply resolve on its own. That may, in fact, happen. However, if over time her nervousness—or her nausea—does not improve, it would be reasonable to begin addressing her feelings of nervousness more directly.
-Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
psychotherapist in private practice
Woodmere, NY
adjunct professor at Touro University
Graduate School of Social Work
author of Self-Esteem: A Primer
www.ylcsw.com / 516-218-4200
Disclaimer
The contents of this blog, including text, graphics, images, and other material are for informational purposes only. Nothing contained in this blog is, or should be considered or used as, a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Never disregard medical advice from your doctor or other qualified health care provider or delay seeking it because of something you have read on the Internet, including on this blog. We urge you to seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health professional with any questions you may have regarding a medical or mental health condition. In case of emergency, please call your doctor or 911 immediately. The information contained on or provided through this blog is provided on an "as is" basis, without any warranty, express or implied. Any access to this blog is voluntary and at your own risk.