Dear Therapist:
Can you please share your opinion on whether it is possible to be "cured" from an addiction? If someone had an addiction and had treatment are they ok now or is this something they will struggle with for the rest of their lives? I ask specifically because it's nogeah a business partner who wants to come back in the business now but when he was struggling caused the business significant harm. He is a good friend and a talented person and we would love to have him back. He says he has gotten help and will be ok but we don't think our business can survive if he does more damage even if it's years down the road. Should we be worried? What precautions can we take? Or is it just too risky?
Response:
I think that the answers to all of your questions are yes, no, and maybe. Are you asking this panel because you believe that we can give you a definitive answer about your business partner? Do you want a response based on our experiences with other people? Or do you want statistics?
Obviously, when someone has done harm in the past there is a concern that this might recur. This can refer to addiction, dishonesty, anger issues, depression, anxiety…and the list goes on. Some problems (like dishonesty) are attributable to personality, beliefs, and ethics. Others (like depression) can be due to other factors.
You didn’t mention what kind of addiction your business partner suffers from. Is it a substance (alcohol or drugs), or is it related to gambling or another activity? Are you asking whether addiction is a part of who a person is (like dishonesty) or simply an externalized issue? The answer is probably that it is a bit of both. With regard to alcohol (and likely many drugs), research has shown that there is a chemical component. However, external factors like various forms of support can be vital as well.
For any diagnosed addiction, it is generally understood that people are never fully “cured.” Any chemical issue remains, and the emotional need is typically never fully abolished. That being said, many people who follow treatment protocol are able to be fully functioning members of society. For example, there are many people in Alcoholics Anonymous who have been sober for decades.
Just as you never know whether someone with an anger problem will erupt, there is no way for you to know absolutely that your partner will not slide back into addictive behaviors. However, depending on the particular addiction and your partner’s tendencies, openness, honesty, and other qualities, you may be able to identify a potential problem early in the process. Given that you have been through this issue with him, perhaps you can identify specific signs, so that you can be alerted before catastrophic damage is done.
Before resuming your business relationship, you might want to meet with the professionals who have been helping him, so as to obtain more specific information as to his treatment. This can help you to be more comfortable with your decision. It can also help you to identify areas of concern and warning signs. This can also aid you in deciding whether your partnership should be contingent on certain oversight or limitations.
-Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
psychotherapist in private practice
Brooklyn, NY | Far Rockaway, NY
author of Self-Esteem: A Primer
www.ylcsw.com / 718-258-5317
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