tag:frumtherapist.com,2005:/articlesLatest articles from Integrative Psychotherapy & Trauma RecoveryIntegrative Psychotherapy & Trauma Recovery2023-01-01T11:29:43ZThis blog discusses topics on trauma, attachment, relationships, grief, healing, hope and connection. My blogs are inspired by my years of practicing psychotherapy and my ongoing passion for learning and researching about the human mind and its profound healing capacities.tag:frumtherapist.com,2005:/EstherGoldstein/the-safe-filter.html2023-01-01T11:28:45Z2023-01-01T11:29:43ZThe Safe Filter
WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO FEEL SAFE?
You feel safe when you know you're cared for, that you're protected from danger and you have someone who has their eye out for you. When you're choosing who to bring into your life, it's important to know how to assess the healthy people from the potentially dangerous people. The ones who offer a sense of safety and let go of the ones who bring chaos, drama or danger.
YOU CAN LEARN HOW TO FILTER "SAFE …Esther Goldstein LCSW, Trauma Specialisttag:frumtherapist.com,2005:/EstherGoldstein/internal-family-systems--pumpkin-spice-.html2020-11-21T23:58:56Z2020-11-21T23:58:56ZInternal Family Systems & Pumpkin Spice Pumpkin Spice and Parts Work
My friend *Shani shows up at my door with a bowl of piping hot chicken soup. I have not been feeling well lately and she knows that a fragrant and nutrient rich bowl of her famous liquid gold will help me feel better. It’s incredible when a friend gets you that intimately. She knows just what I need.
I realize immediately that something is not ok with her. Perhaps in the back of her mind she needs something from …Esther Goldstein LCSW, Trauma Specialisttag:frumtherapist.com,2005:/EstherGoldstein/facing-coronavirus-as-a-trauma-survivor.html2020-04-23T19:44:34Z2020-04-23T19:44:54ZFacing Coronavirus As A Trauma SurvivorHello Trauma Survivor,
As we both know, you’re not a stranger to chaos, you’ve been through loss, fear, panic, dread and being on-edge for some or most of your life.
With the recent pandemic, coronavirus, you realize the world is in a state of trauma. Yes, it is a trauma, and a valid one.
You look around and you see the world panicking, freaking out, or some being in utter denial, and you roll your eyes inside.
They just don' …Esther Goldstein LCSW, Trauma Specialisttag:frumtherapist.com,2005:/EstherGoldstein/anxiety-trauma-specialist-long-island.html2019-05-06T15:22:52Z2019-05-06T23:08:31ZEmerging Trauma Memories? + 4 Coping Tips!“Something is wrong with me, and I think I’m going crazy. I know my life wasn’t perfect, but suddenly I’m flooded with images I never knew existed and I can barely function. What’s wrong with me?”
“I know I had trauma and/or anxiety, and I did some good talk therapy years ago, but suddenly it’s coming back with a whole new force, how do you explain this? And will it ever get better?”
When cl …Esther Goldstein LCSW, Trauma Specialisttag:frumtherapist.com,2005:/EstherGoldstein/trauma-anxiety-specialist-long-island.html2019-05-01T06:31:23Z2019-05-02T08:02:43Z8 Things to Know About High Functioning AnxietyWhen you say the word anxiety, you probably just shrug your shoulder and think “we all have it, sometimes.”
And, you’re right. Anxiety is a very normal part of life. Anxiety is a response to stress and as humans, we are programmed to respond to stressors to get things done; finish the project, make a big decision or go for that last minute errand run.
However, “regular anxiety” comes and goes. Anxiety that creeps i …Esther Goldstein LCSW, Trauma Specialisttag:frumtherapist.com,2005:/EstherGoldstein/anxiety-therapist-five-towns.html2019-04-18T07:45:40Z2019-05-01T06:30:00Z2 Questions to Deepen Your Holiday & Spring BreakWant to deepen your living experience with the current Holiday and Spring Break?
Seasons, Holidays, Changes and Shifts. With every season of the year theres a newness, a rebirthing, a shifting. As well, with every season of our lives, there are changes. Tight spaces, wide spaces, new spaces and old spaces. There’s darkness, and light. Empty branches and then, blossoming flowers.
And as we go into the holiday and/or spring break season, we …Esther Goldstein LCSW, Trauma Specialisttag:frumtherapist.com,2005:/EstherGoldstein/somatic-trauma-anxiety-therapist-long-island.html2019-02-18T13:26:07Z2019-02-18T13:26:14ZBoundary Setting & Somatic Therapy + 1 Activity to Develop "Felt Sense"Boundary Setting & Somatic Therapy + 1 Step to Cultivate your "Felt Sense"
“I can talk you to you till I’m blue in my face, but I won’t be able to change the way I set limits. I know that I’m not good at setting boundaries, but I don’t know why.”
I’m at a coffee date with an old work colleague, and she shares the above. It’s a story that she’s been repeating for some …Esther Goldstein LCSW, Trauma Specialisttag:frumtherapist.com,2005:/EstherGoldstein/trauma-anxiety-therapy-long-island.html2019-02-07T17:34:12Z2019-02-07T17:39:51ZBoundaries & Anxiety + 5 Steps to Healing“Something’s making me feel really uncomfortable. I’m going to take a moment before continuing onward.”
“Every time I spend time at this place/with this person I’m left feeling insecure and doubtful. Hmm, something to look at.”
“I don’t like when you talk to me like that.”
“Can you please take a step back, this feels too close for me.”
“His/Her comment is making me re …Esther Goldstein LCSW, Trauma Specialisttag:frumtherapist.com,2005:/EstherGoldstein/heal-the-heartache-how-healing-attachment-wounds-offers-anxiety-relief.html2018-10-02T23:58:12Z2018-10-18T20:45:29ZHeal the heartache. How healing attachment wounds offers anxiety relief
Have you been struggling with anxiety that has no “apparent” cause?
There’s nothing in particular that’s on your mind, yet there’s this nagging feeling of worry, of panic or of fear. You may be dreading a time of year, a new interaction, a recent shift in your love relationship or demands your family or work life is putting on you, but none of these equate to the feeling of discomfort you&r …Esther Goldstein LCSW, Trauma Specialisttag:frumtherapist.com,2005:/EstherGoldstein/trauma-therapy-long-island.html2018-09-15T22:03:39Z2018-09-15T22:07:13ZDo I need Trauma Therapy? 10 Questions for Clarity“Don’t you think we all have trauma?” A sweet young woman inquired after we both shared about our professions as we waited on line. I answer , “Yes, most of us have gone through some sort of trauma, however, this does not mean that everyone needs therapy.” She seemed perplexed. A therapist who doesn’t push therapy? To help clarify I explained: “Well, the only reason you need treatment is if your mind an …Esther Goldstein LCSW, Trauma Specialisttag:frumtherapist.com,2005:/EstherGoldstein/trauma-expert-five-towns.html2018-09-12T20:54:57Z2018-09-12T21:00:45ZWhat is Trauma? Trauma Therapy DefinedTrauma and Trauma Therapy
Have you ever experienced a disturbing event that left you with this sense of overwhelm, helplessness and feeling out of control? If yes, it's possible that the stressful situation traumatized you. Psychological trauma leaves its mark by leaving you grappling with memories, anxieties and upsetting emotions that just won't let up.
Traumatization can also present itself if you are left feeling disconnected, unable to tru …Esther Goldstein LCSW, Trauma Specialisttag:frumtherapist.com,2005:/EstherGoldstein/is-it-anxiety-or-stress.html2018-08-20T06:31:07Z2018-08-20T06:31:14ZIs it anxiety or stress?Anxiety is one of the most common mental health conditions in the United States. According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, anxiety disorders affect 40 million adults in the United states, age 18 and older. The good news is that anxiety disorders are highly treatable, but get this, only 36.9% of those suffering are receiving mental heath treatment.
Now, how do you know if you're one of those people who are experien …Esther Goldstein LCSW, Trauma Specialisttag:frumtherapist.com,2005:/EstherGoldstein/process-triggers.html2018-08-13T11:46:05Z2018-08-13T15:45:11ZAn Easy Somatic Exercise to Process TriggersAn Easy Somatic Exercise to Process Triggers
Last blog addressed what triggers are and where they come from. This blog is going to dive a bit deeper into how to support yourself when you are experiencing a trigger or stressful event, and are needing skills for relief.
As we mentioned last week, one of the ways to work with triggers is to ground yourself, and orient to the room around you. This week we are practicing orienting you …Esther Goldstein LCSW, Trauma Specialisttag:frumtherapist.com,2005:/EstherGoldstein/the-silent-wound.html2018-04-26T12:37:23Z2018-04-26T12:42:48ZThe Silent Woundcharacters in this article are fictional, created for the purpose of portraying therapeutic process.
"I dont have any specific trauma. I've never been in a car accident and I wasn't bullied when I was little. So then why am I suffering so much on the inside? Why do I feel like the light on the inside is dim? Why do I have a hard time trusting myself and letting others come close?"
This confusion exists in many clients who reach out and are brave …Esther Goldstein LCSW, Trauma Specialisttag:frumtherapist.com,2005:/EstherGoldstein/better-than-your-parents.html2018-02-05T22:57:17Z2018-03-21T22:38:29ZBetter Than Your Parents?The line is thin.
The line of appreciating your parents for who they are and who they were as they raised you, while birthing your own inner voice of the kind of parent you want to be for your children.
The line is thin because there is a balance that we need to be cognizant of. Our parents have their stories and so do their parents. We have our hopes, dreams and aspirations as did they. I have never met a parent who hasn't tried their …Esther Goldstein LCSW, Trauma Specialisttag:frumtherapist.com,2005:/EstherGoldstein/satiating-the-need-for-emotional-connection.html2018-02-01T15:29:27Z2018-02-01T23:40:06ZSatiating the need For Emotional ConnectionSatiating the Need for Emotional Connection
In the past blog I discussed the concept of emotional hunger. If you’re in relationships that feel disconnected or where you're left thirsty for real, steady connections, read on.
What are emotional needs? And what does it meant to feel emotionally satiated?
Emotional hunger is similar, yet different to physical hunger. Try to remember the last time that you were incredibly hungr …Esther Goldstein LCSW, Trauma Specialisttag:frumtherapist.com,2005:/EstherGoldstein/what-is-emotional-hunger.html2018-01-27T21:11:53Z2018-01-27T21:11:53ZWhat is Emotional Hunger?What is this thing we call hunger?
Hunger represents the physiological need to eat food. Feeling satiated is the absence of hunger. Appetite is the desire to eat food. When your belly is empty, the hormone called ghrelin is produced by the stomach triggering a hunger message. Satiety is the feeling of fullness that tells you to stop eating.
Now let's look at emotional hunger, its sensations and how it pl …Esther Goldstein LCSW, Trauma Specialisttag:frumtherapist.com,2005:/EstherGoldstein/learning-to-love-after-trauma.html2018-01-24T22:48:35Z2018-01-24T22:48:35ZLearning To Love After TraumaSurvivors of trauma, just like anyone else, deserve to be able to have meaningful love relationships.
Yet, just like a traveler needs to plan ahead and pack their "kit for the road", trauma survivors may hit some tricky steps in building relationships and may gain from knowing possible worries, bumps or confusion that may come up along the way.
Let's look for a moment at how the impacts of trauma can show up in current or future relationshi …Esther Goldstein LCSW, Trauma Specialisttag:frumtherapist.com,2005:/EstherGoldstein/supporting-the-trauma-survivor-why-family-support-matters.html2017-12-25T16:30:38Z2017-12-25T22:44:43ZSupporting The Trauma Survivor. Why Family Support Matters.I've been approached by gentle, caring parents, family members and siblings of someone who has been through a trauma. They've been asking how to care for their loved one who has been through A big trauma or a small trauma.
Here's the thing about trauma; even when it's over, it never really goes away.
Yet the need for connection, the ability to love, and the innate desire to be embraced by others and life is always aflame.
Yes, goo …Esther Goldstein LCSW, Trauma Specialisttag:frumtherapist.com,2005:/EstherGoldstein/beyondthehashtag.html2017-12-18T16:22:48Z2017-12-19T08:09:08Z#BeyondTheHashtagJust this past week Time magazine published its cover page titled "Person of the Year 2017: The Silence Breakers". In there, Tarana Burke, creator of #metoo speaks about #metoo not just being a moment, rather it's a movement. A time to make a change. Burke speaks of the importance of setting actionable steps in keeping the momentum, to create a rippled effect that will have lasting change on society.
As a trauma therapist I am gra …Esther Goldstein LCSW, Trauma Specialist