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Showing Results 1 - 7 (7 total)
A Therapist Grieves
Author: Lili Bernstein (Goralnick), LCSW-R
April 22nd, 2020
  She was larger than life in every way. She was loud, towering and intimidating. 500lb of full-time drama. The secretaries in the clinic would run and hide. Heaven help us all if the water cooler was empty. Heaven help me if I was 2 minutes late.  The abandonment wound she carried was gaping, and even the smallest slight was a knife in that wound for her. But only I understood that. I knew her way beyond the drama. I knew her stor …
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Healing in Monsey
Author: Lili Bernstein (Goralnick), LCSW-R
January 8th, 2020
Gelly??!!". I shouted into the phone. It was about 11 p.m. and the sirens had finally died down.   I had figured it was a menorah fire, but I glanced into YWN when the sirens weren’t stopping. TERROR IN MONSEY screamed back at me. I called my dear friend and colleague Gelly Asovsky straightaway.  "It's our turn, Lil!   What's the plan?" "Straight into the storm, Gelly. I know the Rebbe and I'm calling the Gabbai tom …
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Becoming a Believer
Author: Lili Bernstein (Goralnick), LCSW-R
February 11th, 2019
I have an old friend from my teenage years named J. J is the person for whom things always work out in the craziest ways. I always joke that people hand J money. It's not far from the truth. When J was flying to Miami once, the head stewardess announced over the loudspeaker that J should come to the front of the plane upon landing. "You have won a VIP escort." J stepped out of the plane and nearly fell on a bright pink golf cart with J's name in …
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My Baal Teshuva Journey
Author: Lili Bernstein (Goralnick), LCSW-R
January 14th, 2019
  A teenager, I awoke abruptly from my Shabbos nap to my older sister, who was visiting from out of town, standing over me. “We’re ordering Chinese food now, what are you having?” Half asleep (and also not wishing to eat treif Chinese food), I replied, “Oh, I’m ok, I don’t think I’m going to eat until later. Don’t worry about me. I’ll sit with you when it arrives.”  “You& …
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Understanding Dissociation
Author: Lili Bernstein (Goralnick), LCSW-R
November 28th, 2018
Emotional, spiritual, and physical struggles faced by individuals who come for psychotherapy frequently find their origins in painful, frightening childhood experiences.  People whose minds and bodies are still in a state of trauma, or who are living according to childhood survival tactics and rules of cause and effect, often lack skills to lead healthy lives and have satisfying relationships. Dissociation is a defense mechanism employed to …
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A Letter to My Borderline Client
Author: Lili Bernstein (Goralnick), LCSW-R
July 8th, 2018
 To my Client with BPD; You came to me from a colleague with those dreaded words, “this one’s for you…” I aged three years just trying to get you to sign my policies and consents. But by the time we were finished drawing and picking apart your family tree, we were bonding in mutual amazement- mine at your brave story and you of my piecing together of your story. Your letter and expressions of appreciation mean a lot, …
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A Therapist Redecorates
Author: Lili Bernstein (Goralnick), LCSW-R
June 1st, 2018
A Therapist Redecorates            I had just experienced a tragic loss, and felt my whole world had collapsed. My own skin didn't even feel safe. But here, in this room, with my life raft, my wise and reassuring therapist, I felt, at times that I could be okay again someday. Bridging my current devastation with a first look at my childhood trauma was something akin to doing yoga in a 6.7 earthqua …
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