Author: Lili Bernstein (Goralnick), LCSW-R

November 24th, 2020

One of the first concepts I teach clients who begin therapy with me is the “Iceberg Method.” I draw the top of an iceberg sticking out from the water, and I say, “So you’re driving over a bridge in the winter, and the river is full of icebergs (I hold up the picture) right?”  The client invariably responds, “right.”  “Wrong!” I declare. I then proceed to complete my picture, drawing …
0 comments

Author: Lili Bernstein (Goralnick), LCSW-R

November 28th, 2018

Emotional, spiritual, and physical struggles faced by individuals who come for psychotherapy frequently find their origins in painful, frightening childhood experiences.  People whose minds and bodies are still in a state of trauma, or who are living according to childhood survival tactics and rules of cause and effect, often lack skills to lead healthy lives and have satisfying relationships. Dissociation is a defense mechanism employed to …
0 comments

Author: Lili Bernstein (Goralnick), LCSW-R

January 14th, 2019

  A teenager, I awoke abruptly from my Shabbos nap to my older sister, who was visiting from out of town, standing over me. “We’re ordering Chinese food now, what are you having?” Half asleep (and also not wishing to eat treif Chinese food), I replied, “Oh, I’m ok, I don’t think I’m going to eat until later. Don’t worry about me. I’ll sit with you when it arrives.”  “You& …
1 comments

Author: Lili Bernstein (Goralnick), LCSW-R

January 8th, 2020

Gelly??!!". I shouted into the phone. It was about 11 p.m. and the sirens had finally died down.   I had figured it was a menorah fire, but I glanced into YWN when the sirens weren’t stopping. TERROR IN MONSEY screamed back at me. I called my dear friend and colleague Gelly Asovsky straightaway.  "It's our turn, Lil!   What's the plan?" "Straight into the storm, Gelly. I know the Rebbe and I'm calling the Gabbai tom …
0 comments

Author: Lili Bernstein (Goralnick), LCSW-R

October 23rd, 2023

Experiencing IVF in a Prepared and Calm State   IVF is a lengthy multi-step process very commonly used these days for many different reasons, including but not limited to infertility, ageing, poor genetics, and egg freezing for those not yet married.  That means that in any given IVF facility you will see a broad range and large number of frum patients daily. I would like to provide a mini guidebook to some of the elements of IVF that h …
0 comments

Author: Lili Bernstein (Goralnick), LCSW-R

July 3rd, 2024

“Can I Become Spontaneously Psychotic?” Lili Bernstein Goralnick, LCSWR-CCTP   It’s a question people are asking right now, and they are seeking concrete, concise and reassuring answers. Here is a guide for clinicians to help educate their clients, and for clients seeking information. We’re living in a quick-and-easy solutions society, so here’s the quick answer: it depends… on VERY specific and mostly co …
0 comments

Author: Lili Bernstein (Goralnick), LCSW-R

February 11th, 2019

I have an old friend from my teenage years named J. J is the person for whom things always work out in the craziest ways. I always joke that people hand J money. It's not far from the truth. When J was flying to Miami once, the head stewardess announced over the loudspeaker that J should come to the front of the plane upon landing. "You have won a VIP escort." J stepped out of the plane and nearly fell on a bright pink golf cart with J's name in …
0 comments

Author: Lili Bernstein (Goralnick), LCSW-R

June 1st, 2018

A Therapist Redecorates            I had just experienced a tragic loss, and felt my whole world had collapsed. My own skin didn't even feel safe. But here, in this room, with my life raft, my wise and reassuring therapist, I felt, at times that I could be okay again someday. Bridging my current devastation with a first look at my childhood trauma was something akin to doing yoga in a 6.7 earthqua …
0 comments

Author: Lili Bernstein (Goralnick), LCSW-R

April 22nd, 2020

  She was larger than life in every way. She was loud, towering and intimidating. 500lb of full-time drama. The secretaries in the clinic would run and hide. Heaven help us all if the water cooler was empty. Heaven help me if I was 2 minutes late.  The abandonment wound she carried was gaping, and even the smallest slight was a knife in that wound for her. But only I understood that. I knew her way beyond the drama. I knew her stor …
0 comments

Author: Lili Bernstein (Goralnick), LCSW-R

July 8th, 2018

 To my Client with BPD; You came to me from a colleague with those dreaded words, “this one’s for you…” I aged three years just trying to get you to sign my policies and consents. But by the time we were finished drawing and picking apart your family tree, we were bonding in mutual amazement- mine at your brave story and you of my piecing together of your story. Your letter and expressions of appreciation mean a lot, …
5 comments