By Michael J. Salamon, Ph.D. The recent conviction of an unlicensed therapist in one of our communities has led to serious soul searching on the part of some and confusion for many others. The most strident argument of the his supporters is that he was convicted without proof; that the accuser made up the story to get back at her community and directed her anger at this amateur counselor. That argument is …
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Michael J. Salamon, Ph.D. Mental health specialists tend to speak about their patients according to a classification referred to as the DSM, which stands for the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. This classification system was first published in 1952 by the American Psychiatric Association as a method to classify mental disorders and develop a statistical baseline through which disorders can be …
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Michael J. Salamon Even though the Denver Broncos did not make it past the first phase of the playoffs, they made a name for themselves this past football season, not so much because they actually made it to the playoffs, a feat one would have been hard pressed to believe at the start of the season, but for their scrappy quarterback. At the beginning of this season, Tim Tebow was …
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Michael J. Salamon, Ph.D. The American Psychological Association defines trauma as âan emotional response to a terrible event like an accident, rape or natural disaster. Immediately after the event, shock and denial are typical. Longer term reactions include unpredictable emotions, flashbacks, strained relationships and even physical symptoms like headaches or nausea.&a …
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Michael J. Salamon, Ph.D. Understanding yourself and your needs so that you can accurately convey them to your spouse, asking your partner open-ended questions to allow your spouse the opportunity to express themselves and probing for a more complete understanding in emotional discussions are the first three steps of Dr. John Gottmanâs findings of what makes for a …
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Michael J. Salamon, Ph.D. Professor of history Stephanie Coontz has observed that âOver the past century, marriage has steadily become more fair, more fulfilling and more effective in fostering the well-being of both adults and children than ever before in history.â To a very large degree Professor Coontz and others attribute this marital growth and enhancemen …
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The magazine, Continental Monthly asked its readers âDo any of you who may be our readers know half a dozen happy families in your circle of friends?â Similarly, the Boston Quarterly wrote âThe family in its old sense is disappearing from our land and⦠the very existence of our society is endangered.â These pieces sound like very contemporary concerns but these articles were written …
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Michael J. Salamon, Ph.D. It seems that over and over again we learn that to a great degree there is ânothing new under the sun.â In Pirkei Avot, referring to Hillel it says (I; 14) âHe used to say: If I am not for myself, who will be for me? And if I am for myself, what am I? This statement is in large measure what research has shown to be the first step toward helping marital partners grow closer to one another. Dr …
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Michael J. Salamon, Ph.D. We have recently been bombarded with a spate of articles on what is being called the âHalf Shabbosâ situation, where people, mostly teens and people in their early 20âs, are said to keep all the laws of Shabbos and kashrus but cannot seem to go without their iPhones or Blackberries or hand held computers for the 25 hours of Shabbos. So on Shabbos they surreptitiously text and Tweet and read …
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Many in the frum community believe that we have done much in recent years to help teenagers at-risk. My experience and research have shown that we have not accomplished nearly enough. In fact, I believe that we have not even begun to address this very serious problem properly. Current research demonstrates that alcohol and substance abuse in the general teen population has declined during the past several years. In all segments of the frum commun …
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We may not want to accept it, but abuse occurs everywhere, even in our own communities. The effects of abuse are devastating and long lasting - not only on those individuals who are abused but on their families as well. Even one act of abuse against a person, regardless of age, can have a significantly negative impact that may last a lifetime. The impact is often much worse when the abuse occurs to a child. People, especially children, who are ab …
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The New York Times got it right. In an editorial published on Thursday May 19, the Times castigated the Vatican for issuing "flimsy guidelines" for combating the sexual abuse of children by the clerical hierarchy. According to the Times, the Vatican "issued nonbinding guidance," giving authority to local bishops which in effect bypasses the need to report the criminal offense of sexual abuse, or for that matter any abuse performed by an official …
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Did you hear the speech President Obama delivered in Cairo week before last? I don't mean just the words but the sound, the tone, the delivery - the way he actually articulated his sentences, the cadences, the pauses and the breaks for applause. I did. But I did not hear it quite the way so many pundits did. There is no question the president is a great orator. He has the ability to use words to gain attention and focus concentration on important …
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I am a child of the '60s. I learned to play guitar to music from the Rabbis' Sons, Shlomo Carlebach and Lennon and McCartney. When we had a kumsitz at our youth functions we would intersperse Simon and Garfunkel music with songs from the Six-Day War. In 1970 I accompanied Rabbi Carlebach when he played an impromptu concert at Zion Square in Jerusalem. I also played in a professional simcha band for many years. We often performed on a float in New …
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My Feb. 22 Jewish Press op-ed article "Losing Rational Orthodoxy" seems to have struck a nerve. Much of the feedback was positive, some was negative, and even more was intensely ambivalent. One reader accused me of misunderstanding Judaism. Another wrote that I had finally brought up the issues that had been plaguing him for so long but that he had been unable to articulate. Yet another commented to me that I simply did not understand Orthodox pr …
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There is a growing crisis in the international Jewish community that I believe must be acknowledged if we are to survive intact and preserve our children's future. The crisis is related to, but goes well beyond, the fact that we are in general too indulgent and tolerant as parents; it goes beyond the fact that we have acquired a level of wealth and comfort that we take too much for granted - even if we are not all wealthy nor all that comfortable …
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Michael J. Salamon, Ph.D. Our practice accepts interns; post graduate students interested in a clinical internship must send us a copy of their C.V. and a cover letter. Surprisingly, many letters from these "well educated" individuals arrive with grammar and spelling errors. Other business leaders, education and agency administrators I speak with have voiced similar experiences. This is not surprising because on Monday, February seventh the New …
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Michael J. Salamon, Ph.D. In general individuals do not listen well to one another. If you watch people carefully, you will find that there is a lack of focus and attention in almost all conversations between people, even in the seemingly deep or heated conversations that often take place at family or social gatherings. That is because there is no consistent attempt by many people to ask questions or follow a clear line of thought or emotion in …
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