Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

September 16th, 2015

Rosh Hashanah. Yom Kippur. Succos. For some, these words conjure up memories of delicious hot challah dipped in honey, solemn time in shul followed by the sweetness of cake and coffee at the breaking of the fast, the warmth and camaraderie of siblings and cousins squashed in a Succah lovingly designed by a parent and created with the children, and the noisy, fun, crazy beauty of yom tov together with family. For others, these same words create s …
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Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

March 23rd, 2015

Note: This was originally published in JEWISH ECHO MAGAZINES's monthly column "Ask the Therapist."   Question: Recently, my husband’s religious views have been changing. His hashkafos and values are becoming more liberal than they used to be. How can we keep these newly developed differences in our hashkafos from affecting our children?  Answer: Before I answer this question, I would like to make it very, very clear that the perso …
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Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

October 18th, 2015

NOTE: THIS WAS ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN JEWISH ECHO'S COLUMN ASK-THE-THERAPIST   Question: My ten year old's new teacher has very strict rules. Many students do well with her but my daughter has a lot of difficulty adapting to her rigid style. What can we do to ensure she has a successful year?   Answer: When I was a kid, I devoured books about children growing up in the 1800's who were educated, together with their siblings, by governe …
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Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

January 11th, 2016

NOTE: THIS ARTICLE WAS ORIGINALLY WRITTEN FOR JEWISH ECHO MAGAZINE'S COLUMN ASK THE THERAPIST Question: We are a family with 4 children,ages 2-10. My wife wants to get rid of our television,as she doesn't want the kids exposed to all the immorality,and non-Torah values that are on television. I feel that I need the television to relax during my "down time" after a long day of work,and if we monitor what the children watch there will be no issues …
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Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

August 7th, 2014

NOTE: This was originally given as a workshop at a LINKS Shabbaton (catering to girls whose parent[s] is deceased) and written as an article in the quarterly LINKS Magazine             When I was a teenager, I was a really popular kid. Loads of friends, fresh mouth in school, leader at sports in camp. So you would think that my life was perfect. Hmm. Not really. Even though I had two parents, although it looked …
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Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

July 25th, 2014

Note: Previously published in the Ask-the-Therapist column of the Jewish Echo Magazine July 2014 Thank you for the great advice you give in your Ask-the-Therapist columns. My question is as follows: We have never gone to the Catskills for the summer as there was always that cost factor. My wife really wants to go this year as many friends are there and she feels it would be great for the children. I’m concerned about the cost and being bore …
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Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

December 29th, 2014

Note: This article was originally published in LINKS MAGAZINE, put out by Links, an organization helping children and teens whose parent(s) has died                  Okay, so I have a friend who tells me, “My mother died when I was eight and I went back to school the day after the funeral. And then I am a teenager and whenever I’m feeling bratty or moody, I bl …
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Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

May 9th, 2014

Note: This article was originally commissioned for a magazine put out by LINKS, an organization that supports teens who have lost a parent(s).               “I'm fine! There is nothing wrong with me!”             “I don't need therapy. Maybe my mother/father/sister/brother needs therapy.”         …
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Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

July 15th, 2014

Inside me there is a story I must tell. I didn't realize it at first. It began as a slight feeling of unease. Like butterflies in my stomach. But then I began to hear voices. My main character started walking around in my head. “Nu?” she said. “How long do I have to wait?” She lives in Israel, I think, with her religious husband and children. Her non-Jewish brother, Jev, calls her. He says, “Come.” He lives in …
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Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

December 22nd, 2014

NOTE: This article was originally published in the Jewish Press Don't you hate it when people tell you that you need therapy? It's a nice way of saying, “Hey, Girl, you know you are a little crazy, right?” Or a subtle way of saying, “Girl, you are so messed up you need to have your head unshrinked.” So it's really annoying to have people tell you that there's something wrong with you and stick their nose into your busines …
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Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

January 13th, 2015

Note: This was originally published in Binah Magazine, in the ongoing column Therapy: A Sneak Peek Inside.              Here's a secret about therapy.             Therapists often go for supervision.             Here's a common scenario (although for reasons of confidentiality, I am using a scenario …
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Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

December 27th, 2015

NOTE: THIS ARTICLE WAS ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN BINAH'S COLUMN: THERAPY: A SNEAK PEAK INSIDE The teenager sitting in my office is mechallel Shabbos. Eats treif. Wants to wear pants. The couple coming to me for marital counseling is in pain. They are the sweetest people and want desperately to make their marriage work. But he is a Kohen and she is a divorcee. For another client, obsessive-compulsive behavior is manifesting itself in religious ri …
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Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

May 9th, 2014

Question: I have always managed to cope with various difficulties in my life (which have been no more, no less than other people I know), but recently I have been overwhelmed by a few things that happened all at once.  I have friends who I talk to, and my mother helps me out when I need her. Everyone keeps telling me I should see a therapist but I'm not quite sure how and why a therapist can help me more than my family and friends. &nbs …
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Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

May 9th, 2014

            Talk about phobias.             My daughter-in-law was always a little bit uncomfortable flying on airplanes. Made sense, if you think about it. It’s the rest of us who think it’s normal being cooped up in a machine flying higher than the clouds and no safety net if this machine decides it doesn’t want to fly anymore. But anyway …
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Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

August 4th, 2015

Last summer, the July column in Jewish Echo Magazine, answering the concerns of a man whose wife wanted to go to the bungalow, garnered a passionate response from readers. Here is my response, a little belated, concise, but addressing the salient points. You can refer to the blog article To the Catskills for the Summer: A Marital Dispute and the comments posted   It's not for nothing that there's an old joke that where there are tw …
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Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

January 25th, 2016

NOTE: THIS ARTICLE WAS ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN BINAH MAGAZINE'S COLUMN THERAP:Y A SNEAK PEEK INSIDE It's seems so strange to write about a social problem that seems so at odds with our community's values. Elder abuse? What on earth is that? When I was in college going for my social work degree, my first internship was in a home care agency. Most of the agency's clients were people who had been discharged from hospitals and rehabilitation centers …
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Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

April 13th, 2015

NOTE: THIS ARTICLE WAS ORIGINALLY WRITTEN FOR THE COLUMN A SNEAK PEEK INSIDE, IN BINAH MAGAZINE It does seem so drastic.
I mean, the couple just got married and are having a little issue or two. You don’t need a therapist for that, for goodness sake. A little chat with the Rav, a kallah teacher, a little common sense, a little compromise, and all is good as new.
Or that student who is arguing non-stop with her mother. …
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Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

June 8th, 2014

Note: This question and the following article was originally published in the Ask-the-Therapist column of Jewish Echo Magazine Question:   My son is Bar Mitzvah age and doesn't seem to have interest in staying for all of davening or laining in shul. Often, he refuses to come to shul at all. He says he's tired or not feeling well, but then of course feels better after the Shabbos meal to play with his friends for two hours. Should I push him …
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Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

June 22nd, 2015

  NOTE: THIS WAS ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN "A SNEAK PEEK INSIDE," AN ONGOING COLUMN IN BINAH MAGAZINE Our community is a marvelous place to raise children. Within a radius of twenty or so blocks, they are located near their grandparents, cousins, schools, shuls, and assorted Uvos U’Banim events they choose to attend. They are enveloped in the security of their close contact with their principals and teachers whom they meet in shul, on th …
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Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

May 12th, 2015

You walk in to my office for the first time. It is an interview, for both of us, and we both don’t want to fail. There is much you learn about me although I reveal nothing verbally. My office is simple. Four walls. A chair. A couch. A lamp. My books line the shelves. They tell the story of what interests me, theories and philosophies that inform my orientation and work. My diplomas and certificates are framed, hanging quietly on the wall. Y …
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Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

November 8th, 2015

NOTE: THIS COLUMN WAS ORIGINALLY WRITTEN FOR BINAH MAGAZINE   Of course I have been tempted! Her journal, or diary, or story for school, is right out there in plain sight, and I am overcome with curiosity to read what my daughter writes. So, I will ask her. And if she would say, “Ma-a-a-a! It’s private.” then I tell Curiosity to please find another parent to drive crazy, because the answer is no. Believe me, I battle wi …
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Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

September 1st, 2015

NOTE: THIS ARTICLE WAS ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN JEWISH ECHO MAGAZINE'S COLUMN ASK-THE-THERAPIST   Question: Every year around Rosh Hashonah time, I make resolutions to try and improve and become a better person. The resolutions usually last a few weeks or months, and then I find myself slipping. Eventually they are forgotten about. What can I do to make my resolutions last?  Answer: Ahhhh. The good ol' New Year's Resolutions. We start of …
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Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

June 29th, 2015

NOTE: THIS COLUMN WAS ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN JEWISH ECHO MAGAZINE'S ASK THE THERAPIST  QUESTION: I am the parent of a young married couple who is learning in kollel. We send generous support to the couple every month .Recently, my son told me that he needs more money in order to make ends meet. My wife and I both know that it's because his wife overspends on unnecessary luxuries. On one hand I don't want my son to go into debt, yet on the …
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Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

December 13th, 2015

NOTE: THIS ARTICLE WAS ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN BINAH MAGAZINE'S COLUMN: THERAPY, A SNEAK PEEK INSIDE Confession here. I love to argue, create controversy, get people all up in arms. I thrive on it. It's like we can be sitting at a family get-together, and everyone is actually getting along, and I will throw in some comment that I just know will spark some excitement. “Do you do this on purpose?” my important Others ask partly laughin …
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Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

March 23rd, 2017

In THERAPY, SHMERAPY; Demysifying Therapy Even for Those Who Don't Need It, you are in for a revealing session behind the closed doors of the therapy room. As a popular columnist, therapist Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, has been dazzling her audience in Binah Magazine and on her blog. Here is the real story of therapy: honest, eye-opening, sharp, and often funny. In this collection of thought-provoking essays you will find out what is therapy; who need …
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Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

March 8th, 2016

My blog has been moved to OKclarity.com. Thank you again for following me on my blog here at frumtherapist, and thank you readers for alerting me that my link to my other blog at Nefesh website is incorrect. Here is the correct link https://nefeshinternational.org/blogs/MindyBlumenfeldLCSW    …
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Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

March 2nd, 2016

For all my loyal readers, just wanted to let you know that I am moving my blog to the Nefesh website, called In My Mind (and on the couch).  I will be posting, as I usually do, every Sunday, weekly. Please join me at  https://nefeshinternational.org/blogs/Mindy Blumenfeld LCSW.  …
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Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

February 7th, 2016

  Question: My daughter really wants to marry a Kollel guy,which will require us to help support her for the first few years of marriage. While we have a substantial income and if we cut back on some luxuries we can afford to help her out,we were raised that a man should support his family,and don't really want to change our lifestyle to accommodate my daughter's hashkafa which we don't agree with. What do you suggest?   Answer: Love …
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Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

September 7th, 2015

NOTE: THIS WAS ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN JEWISH ECHO'S COLUMN ASK-THE-THERAPIST   QUESTION: I am the parent of a young married couple who is learning in kollel. We send generous support to the couple every month .Recently, my son told me that he needs more money in order to make ends meet. My wife and I both know that it's because his wife overspends on unnecessary luxuries. On one hand I don't want my son to go into debt, yet on the other h …
0 comments

Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

November 29th, 2015

NOTE: THIS WAS PUBLISHED ORIGINALLY IN BINAH MAGAZINE'S COLUMN THERAPY: A SNEAK PEEK INSIDE   It is a therapist's worst nightmare. Mine, at least. The night before I begin therapy with a client under eighteen, I do not sleep that well. It is the specter of fear in having to report abuse to child protective services. Parents, teachers and principals call me to take on their teenager or student as a client. The kid is acting out in all sorts …
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Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

November 16th, 2015

NOTE: THIS ARTICLE WAS ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN BINAH MAGAZINE'S COLUMN THERAPY: A SNEAK PEEK INSIDE   Look, the only thing I can do is give you straight talk from the perspective of a therapist. I refuse to give you medical advice. I refuse to make the decision for you. I refuse to convince you one way or another whether or not to fill your prescription for Lexapro, Xanax, Wellbutrin, or Clonepine. I absolutely refuse. And here's why. Lit …
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Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

November 1st, 2015

 NOTE: THIS ARTICLE WAS ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN BINAH'S COLUMN THERAPY: A SNEAK PEEK INSIDE Personally, I don't hold a gun to anyone's head, forcing them into my room for therapy. Maybe parents or spouses do that, but not me. So when new clients come into my office, even the ones who made their own decision to make that first appointment, they oftentimes walk in the door as if it were a jail cell, a holding pen until their execution. So ine …
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Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

October 27th, 2015

NOTE: THIS WAS ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN BINAH MAGAZINE'S COLUMN UNMASKING THE MYSTIQUE OF THERAPY   You are paying me, for goodness sakes. And now that it's clear that you are a customer for my services, same as when you hire a contractor, plumber, teacher, or maid, you expect results. And if not, you voice your complaints. Right? Right. “Yeah, sure,” you are thinking. “No way am I telling my therapist my complaints abo …
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Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

February 15th, 2016

  “Why don't you write about what it's like to live with a therapist,”' my husband suggests. “I don't want to make my readers jealous that they don't have an in-house therapist,” I say. “If I write the column,” my husband observes, “they will know that they have nothing to be jealous of.” So this column is for all those married to therapists who wish their spouses had normal jobs, for all th …
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Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

February 28th, 2016

 NOTE: THIS ARTICLE WAS ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN BINAH'S BI-WEEKLY COLUMN THERAPY: A SNEAK PEEK INSIDE I really need to have a heart-to-heart talk to certain somebodies. And it may be you I am talking to, so listen up. Lots of people are in therapy today. No, I am not getting into a discussion about why there are more people than ever today in therapy. All I am going to say on the subject is that people are refusing to be miserable any more t …
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Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

December 20th, 2015

NOTE: THIS ARTICLE WAS ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN BINAH MAGAZINE'S COLUMN: THERAPY: A SNEAK PEEK INSIDE “She's in total denial. Not that I blame her. Who wants to deal with such a problem?” Recognize that line? She — whoever that she is in your life — is in denial about any number of things. That her daughter bullies others at school, that her son needs tutoring, that she is too picky about shidduchim, that her mother is ver …
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Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

March 8th, 2015

NOTE: This article was originally published in Therapy: A Sneak Peek Inside, a column in Binah Magazine.   I have a hard time charging for my services. A client comes in to my office. And very soon it’s obvious that the fee for each session is difficult to come by. And inside, it hurts me because I know that it may take a few weeks, even a few months, and sometimes a few years, to address the issues that bring the client int …
5 comments

Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

December 6th, 2015

Every Chanuka I have the same dilemma: we have family friends who always buy expensive gifts for my children,Unfortunately I don't have the means now to reciprocate as I was able to in the past. My husband doesn't want people to know that we've fallen on hard time,yet I can't afford to reciprocate. How do you suggest we handle this situation?   Answer: You know that old joke that if you buy your child the most expensive gift, he will spend a …
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Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

October 12th, 2015

NOTE: THIS WAS ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN JEWISH ECHO'S MONTHLY COLUMN ASK-THE-THERAPIST   Question: I am by nature an introverted and quiet person. My wife tells me that my quiet nature affects the children because I don't show them enough love and affection. I agree with her, yet it's very hard to change my nature. How would you advise me to work on changing my introverted tendencies to become more affectionate and expressive?   Answer: …
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Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

August 15th, 2015

NOTE: THIS ARTICLE WAS ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN THE COLUMN ASK THE THERAPIST OF JEWISH ECHO MAGAZINE   Question: An integral part of my family life is spending quality "family time" with my children. When we go to the bungalow colony in the summer, I feel that because all the families are so close together, we lose that special "family time" element. How can I preserve that over the summer?   Answer: To be perfectly honest, your question …
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