Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

November 10th, 2014

Note: This was published in the monthly ask-the-therapist column of Jewish Echo Magazine Dear Mindy Thank you for your wonderful and insightful columns. My question is as follows. I don't get along with my mother in law and would prefer to not speak with her unless I must I.e. at a simcha.(I guess the easiest way to describe it is - I'm from Mars and she is from Venus )  I do also understand that she is the grandmother of my children an …
6 comments

Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

March 1st, 2015

NOTE: This article was originally published in the monthly Ask the Therapist column in Jewish Echo Magazine   Question: Our family is a regular middle class family with kids in the local yeshiva and girls’ school. Many of our children’s friends have things that we feel are not necessary for our children to have at their ages, i.e. an ipad for a twelve year old, the latest brand name shoes for our fourteen year old, etc. On t …
1 comments

Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

September 28th, 2014

Note: This column was originally published in Jewish Echo Magazine in the Ask-the-therapist column 9/14 A parent asks: It's back to school. My daughter is 10 and all excited to start a new year. She's a straight A student and because she is, she is more the shy type and doesn't attract as many friends. Last year she complained and I had to speak to her teachers many times to make sure it was well handled. I feel like it will happen all over again …
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Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

May 9th, 2014

Question:  I am a principal in a girls' elementary school. I found your past two columns about therapy very informative and although I have never been a believer in therapy, I'm beginning to rethink my attitudes and wonder if therapy can help different students who are struggling socially or in other ways, as well as some parents who come through my door. So here is my question: How do I know how to find the right therapist for a student or …
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Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

December 14th, 2014

Note: This was originally published in Binah Magazine as the inaugural article for my ongoing column Therapy: A Sneak Peek Inside   Agoraphobia, Borderline, Conduct Disorder, Depression, Encopresis…. Yep, I know the ABCs of mental disorders pretty well. As a matter of fact, when I sat in Abnormal Psychology classes in college, I thought I had symptoms of every mental disorder we learned about. (While I only thought I had them, my kids …
1 comments

Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

January 5th, 2015

Note: This article was orginally published in Jewish Echo Magazine's monthly column "Ask The Therapist."   Dear Therapist, I am a married mother of three. Recently my husband has become very busy at work and doesn't have much time for the children. He says it's a passing stage, because as he builds his business he will be able to hire more help. In the meantime, is there anything I can do for my children to compensate for my husband's lack o …
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Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

May 9th, 2014

Question:  I'm a little embarrassed to admit it, although everyone who knows me is aware of it, but I’m afraid of flying in an airplane. Until now it hasn't been a problem because I just didn't fly. When we were newly married, I flew to Florida on vacation with my wife a few times but even that petered out over the years as it just wasn't worth it to me. Israel was out of the question so my wife ended up flying herself. But now my son …
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Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

May 9th, 2014

          You walk in to my office for the first time. It is an interview, for both of us, and we both don’t want to fail. There is much you learn about me although I reveal nothing verbally. My office is simple. Four walls. A chair. A couch. A lamp. My books line the shelves. They tell the story of what interests me, theories and philosophies that inform my orientation and work. My diplomas and certificates ar …
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Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

July 5th, 2015

NOTE: THIS ARTICLE WAS ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN BINAH MAGAZINE'S COLUMN A SNEAK PEEK INSIDE AS A RESPONSE TO AN OUTPOURING OF LETTERS GENERATED BY THE PREVIOUS ARTICLE BOUND TO HAVE BOUNDARIES (ALSO ON MY BLOG)  If I would have known what an outpouring of mail and phone calls my article Bound to Have Boundaries would generate, I would have hired a secretary! Instead, I read through all the mail on my own, took careful notes, and now write t …
1 comments

Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

January 18th, 2016

NOTE: THIS ARTICLE WAS ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED BY MISHPACHA TEEN MAGAZINE Look, I am not going to convince you that you need therapy. I am not jumping out of this page to drag you off to my office! I am not even going to find out who you are. So why are you afraid to read this article? You are not afraid? Good. So it doesn't make you nervous that I am a therapist? Really? That's refreshing because when I officially became a therapist, my so …
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Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

November 22nd, 2015

  This past Simchas Torah in my shul,some of my friends drank a little too much. These friends are good husbands,and fathers who got a little carried away. My son was in shul with me,and I don't want him to think it's OK to get drunk. How do I explain this without putting down my friends,who in many cases are the parents of his friends? NOTE: THIS COLUMN WAS ORIGINALLY WRITTEN FOR JEWISH ECHO MAGAZINE IN THE MONTHLY COLUMN ASK-THE-THERAPIST& …
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Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

January 31st, 2016

  NOTE: THIS WAS ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN BINAH'S BI-WEEKLYN THERAPY COLUMN A SNEAK PEEK INSIDE   Maybe you will recognize yourself in this article. Maybe you will recognize someone else you know; a child, a spouse, a parent, or a student. And then maybe, once you recognize that person, stuff about therapy will make more sense to you. The stigma of therapy will seem silly to you. You might turn to your newly wed wife and ask curiously, & …
1 comments

Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

June 7th, 2015

NOTE: THIS COLUMN WAS ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN BINAH'S THERAPY: A SNEAK PEEK INSIDE Listen to me. You may find yourself in this scenario. For months you have been miserable. Maybe years. You have spoken to friends, confided in mentors, consulted with rabbis, and vented to sisters. And you just couldn't seem to feel better. So you let your husband, your friend, your rav, even your own dear self, convince yourself to try therapy. And you do. And, …
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Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

August 3rd, 2015

NOTE: THIS ARTICLE WAS ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED BY LINKS, AN ORGANIZATION DEDICATED TO SUPPORTINGCHILDREN AND TEENS                     WHOSE PARENT(S) HAS DIED I went to camp because I loved sports. Everything else seemed silly to me.
And I wonder now how idiotic camp seems to a girl whose parent has just died. And she watches from a place far away how her fellow campers can get all excited abo …
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Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

September 24th, 2015

NOTE: THIS ARTICLE WAS ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN LINKS A MAGAZINE FOR TEENS WHO HAVE SUFFERED PARENTAL LOSS   If you would have to choose an alternate lifetime of living in any form except for a human being, how many of you would choose to be a rock? Crazy, you are thinking. “Who would want to be a rock? Maybe an animal, like a horse or cheetah or bird; maybe a tree, its branches laden with fruit and it's reaching upwards to the sk …
1 comments

Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

May 18th, 2015

NOTE: THIS ARTICLE WAS ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN LINKS, A MAGAZINE GEARED TO TEENS WHOSE PARENT(S) HAS DIED    I’m back. I have some more stuff to tell you. And you may not want to listen, and that’s okay. My kids often don’t listen to me, either. Except that they secretly are, when they think I don’t see. So maybe you can pretend not to listen; or, when you think I am not looking, you can read this article. Becaus …
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Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

July 10th, 2014

  We meet, you and I.
We shmooze, you and I.
We meet at weddings, at bar-mitzvahs, at the exercise class, and at Chinese auctions. We meet around the pool and at lectures; at the Tehillim group and at our shidduch meetings. We meet socially or we meet at professional conferences. We meet when we are involved in our children's PTA and we meet when we are involved in chessed projects together. And whenever—or wherever we meet …
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Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

July 15th, 2015

NOTE: THIS ARTICLE WAS ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN BINAH MAGAZINE I find lessons in the oddest places. Just the other day, sitting in a workshop geared for mental health professionals, I learned that if the wrong conjunction lands up in a sentence, a judge could condemn a man to death. Yep. Death by conjunction***. A conjunction, for those of you like me, who cut grammar class and have only a vague recollection of the word, is the sum total of eig …
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Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

February 21st, 2016

  When a set of twins were born prematurely and were hooked up to every wire and tube necessary to keep them alive, here were the doctor's stringent orders to their mother, “You must touch them every single day.” So the mother watched in horror as every lifesaving tube and wire was unhooked but, as the nurses emphatically explained as they gently placed her tiny, fragile twins into her arms, “Your children need your touch t …
2 comments

Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

January 25th, 2015

NOTE: THIS ARTICLE WAS ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN LINKS MAGAZINE, A PUBLICATION FOR GIRLS WHOSE PARENT(S) HAS DIED   Being a teenager is such hard work, is such a crazy, upside down time, is such a roller coaster ride of emotions, that you have no idea how glad I am that I am no longer one. My son once told me, “Ma, being a teenager is like the chicken pox. You gotta get over it no matter how much it itches.” Imagine my dismay that …
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Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

January 3rd, 2016

  NOTE: THIS WAS ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN BINAH MAGAZINE'S BI-WEEKLY COLUMN THERAPY: A SNEAK PEEK INSIDE So just when you thought you knew everything you needed to know about therapy for individuals, I am going to give the rug underneath you a little jerk, and topple you over with another model of therapy called family therapy. Yep, you heard right. Family therapy is when the family comes into the therapy room. Yeah, I know. Just imagining yo …
1 comments

Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

August 21st, 2014

NOTE: This article was originally written for a LINKS publication, an organization which reaches out to girls whose parent(s) has died               My husband's father was killed in a bus bombing in Yerushulayim when he was eleven. His family got up from shiva right before Purim and yet he does not have any memories of Purim being a sad day that year. When I asked him about that Purim, he said, “I do …
1 comments

Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

April 27th, 2015

Question: As a 35-year-old working father of five, I often find myself feeling frustrated. Between my responsibilities as a breadwinner, father, husband, community member, and learner,I often have difficulty juggling everything. How do I prioritize all these responsibilities?   Answer:             First off, I do hope that your wife appreciates being married to such a wonderful guy who …
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Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

December 7th, 2014

Note: A variation of this article was published in Jewish Echo Magazine in the column Ask the Therapist   Question: Dear Mindy,   I try to lose weight and regardless of how many times people tell me I look good, I still feel fat. How do I change my perspective about myself instead of staring at the mirror and crying?   Answer:   It seems to me that you want me to wave a magic wand and produce some kind of answer out of thin a …
2 comments

Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

August 23rd, 2015

NOTE: This article was originally published by Jewish Echo Magazine in Ask-the-Therapist column   Question: As a 35-year-old working father of five, I often find myself feeling frustrated. Between my responsibilities as a breadwinner, father, husband, community member, and learner,I often have difficulty juggling everything. How do I prioritize all these responsibilities?   Answer: First off, I do hope that your wife appreciates being …
1 comments

Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

August 15th, 2015

NOTE: THIS ARTICLE WAS ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN THE COLUMN ASK THE THERAPIST OF JEWISH ECHO MAGAZINE   Question: An integral part of my family life is spending quality "family time" with my children. When we go to the bungalow colony in the summer, I feel that because all the families are so close together, we lose that special "family time" element. How can I preserve that over the summer?   Answer: To be perfectly honest, your question …
1 comments

Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

October 12th, 2015

NOTE: THIS WAS ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN JEWISH ECHO'S MONTHLY COLUMN ASK-THE-THERAPIST   Question: I am by nature an introverted and quiet person. My wife tells me that my quiet nature affects the children because I don't show them enough love and affection. I agree with her, yet it's very hard to change my nature. How would you advise me to work on changing my introverted tendencies to become more affectionate and expressive?   Answer: …
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Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

December 6th, 2015

Every Chanuka I have the same dilemma: we have family friends who always buy expensive gifts for my children,Unfortunately I don't have the means now to reciprocate as I was able to in the past. My husband doesn't want people to know that we've fallen on hard time,yet I can't afford to reciprocate. How do you suggest we handle this situation?   Answer: You know that old joke that if you buy your child the most expensive gift, he will spend a …
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Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

March 8th, 2015

NOTE: This article was originally published in Therapy: A Sneak Peek Inside, a column in Binah Magazine.   I have a hard time charging for my services. A client comes in to my office. And very soon it’s obvious that the fee for each session is difficult to come by. And inside, it hurts me because I know that it may take a few weeks, even a few months, and sometimes a few years, to address the issues that bring the client int …
5 comments

Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

December 20th, 2015

NOTE: THIS ARTICLE WAS ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN BINAH MAGAZINE'S COLUMN: THERAPY: A SNEAK PEEK INSIDE “She's in total denial. Not that I blame her. Who wants to deal with such a problem?” Recognize that line? She — whoever that she is in your life — is in denial about any number of things. That her daughter bullies others at school, that her son needs tutoring, that she is too picky about shidduchim, that her mother is ver …
2 comments

Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

February 28th, 2016

 NOTE: THIS ARTICLE WAS ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN BINAH'S BI-WEEKLY COLUMN THERAPY: A SNEAK PEEK INSIDE I really need to have a heart-to-heart talk to certain somebodies. And it may be you I am talking to, so listen up. Lots of people are in therapy today. No, I am not getting into a discussion about why there are more people than ever today in therapy. All I am going to say on the subject is that people are refusing to be miserable any more t …
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Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

February 15th, 2016

  “Why don't you write about what it's like to live with a therapist,”' my husband suggests. “I don't want to make my readers jealous that they don't have an in-house therapist,” I say. “If I write the column,” my husband observes, “they will know that they have nothing to be jealous of.” So this column is for all those married to therapists who wish their spouses had normal jobs, for all th …
4 comments

Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

October 27th, 2015

NOTE: THIS WAS ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN BINAH MAGAZINE'S COLUMN UNMASKING THE MYSTIQUE OF THERAPY   You are paying me, for goodness sakes. And now that it's clear that you are a customer for my services, same as when you hire a contractor, plumber, teacher, or maid, you expect results. And if not, you voice your complaints. Right? Right. “Yeah, sure,” you are thinking. “No way am I telling my therapist my complaints abo …
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Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

November 1st, 2015

 NOTE: THIS ARTICLE WAS ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN BINAH'S COLUMN THERAPY: A SNEAK PEEK INSIDE Personally, I don't hold a gun to anyone's head, forcing them into my room for therapy. Maybe parents or spouses do that, but not me. So when new clients come into my office, even the ones who made their own decision to make that first appointment, they oftentimes walk in the door as if it were a jail cell, a holding pen until their execution. So ine …
4 comments

Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

November 16th, 2015

NOTE: THIS ARTICLE WAS ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN BINAH MAGAZINE'S COLUMN THERAPY: A SNEAK PEEK INSIDE   Look, the only thing I can do is give you straight talk from the perspective of a therapist. I refuse to give you medical advice. I refuse to make the decision for you. I refuse to convince you one way or another whether or not to fill your prescription for Lexapro, Xanax, Wellbutrin, or Clonepine. I absolutely refuse. And here's why. Lit …
1 comments

Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

November 29th, 2015

NOTE: THIS WAS PUBLISHED ORIGINALLY IN BINAH MAGAZINE'S COLUMN THERAPY: A SNEAK PEEK INSIDE   It is a therapist's worst nightmare. Mine, at least. The night before I begin therapy with a client under eighteen, I do not sleep that well. It is the specter of fear in having to report abuse to child protective services. Parents, teachers and principals call me to take on their teenager or student as a client. The kid is acting out in all sorts …
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Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

September 7th, 2015

NOTE: THIS WAS ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN JEWISH ECHO'S COLUMN ASK-THE-THERAPIST   QUESTION: I am the parent of a young married couple who is learning in kollel. We send generous support to the couple every month .Recently, my son told me that he needs more money in order to make ends meet. My wife and I both know that it's because his wife overspends on unnecessary luxuries. On one hand I don't want my son to go into debt, yet on the other h …
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Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

February 7th, 2016

  Question: My daughter really wants to marry a Kollel guy,which will require us to help support her for the first few years of marriage. While we have a substantial income and if we cut back on some luxuries we can afford to help her out,we were raised that a man should support his family,and don't really want to change our lifestyle to accommodate my daughter's hashkafa which we don't agree with. What do you suggest?   Answer: Love …
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Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

March 2nd, 2016

For all my loyal readers, just wanted to let you know that I am moving my blog to the Nefesh website, called In My Mind (and on the couch).  I will be posting, as I usually do, every Sunday, weekly. Please join me at  https://nefeshinternational.org/blogs/Mindy Blumenfeld LCSW.  …
1 comments

Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

March 8th, 2016

My blog has been moved to OKclarity.com. Thank you again for following me on my blog here at frumtherapist, and thank you readers for alerting me that my link to my other blog at Nefesh website is incorrect. Here is the correct link https://nefeshinternational.org/blogs/MindyBlumenfeldLCSW    …
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