Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

September 10th, 2019

I’ve heard people say that you are not allowed to question Hashem. I never understood that. When Hashem told Avraham Aveinu that Hashem was planning to destroy Sodom and its neighboring cities, Avraham asked Hashem a series of questions. When Hashem make the sivlos Mitzraim even worse after Moshe Rabeinu’s first encounter with Pharoah, Moshe asked questions of Hashem. I understand that we are not on the darga of Avraham or Moshe, but …
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

September 1st, 2019

These song lyrics from 1975 resonated with me: To those of us who knew the pain…
And those whose names were never called
When choosing sides for basketball. They described my life from ten years earlier. Never being chosen for basketball, baseball, or anything else, was painful for me but I wouldn’t consider it being bullied. Being punched in the gut while on line at the lunchroom, being mocked, being called names, being …
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

August 19th, 2019

We’ve all heard the expression, “Think Outside of the Box.”  Have you ever wondered what box this refers to? The primordial box was not metaphorical. It was a specific box in the form of a two-dimensional square. “Sam Loyd's Cyclopedia of 5000 Puzzles, Tricks, and Conundrums (With Answers)” originally published in 1914, includes (it’s still in print!) a puzzle known as the 'Nine Dots Puzzle' which was pose …
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

August 19th, 2019

Do you know how long ago there was a technology upgrade in my school? It was in 1962!  Our blackboard and white chalk had a tech upgrade to greenboard and yellow chalk.  Conventional wisdom says that happened when it was discovered that yellow on green is easier to read than white on black.  Apparently the makers of highway entrance and exit signs agree.  Interestingly, an article in the October 2016 issue of The Atlantic sugg …
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

July 21st, 2019

I’ve read that when you are angry at your child you should take a deep breath and count to ten before you say anything.  Every time I’m about to tell my child what she did wrong, I stop, take a deep breath, and count to ten.  After I’ve done all that, I say the exact same thing in the same angry voice that I was going to say to begin with.  What’s the point of breathing and counting when I end up the same, R …
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

June 16th, 2019

I recently received a phone call from a friend.  She began by saying “this is a nachas call.” Since all of my children and grandchildren live in New York and my friend lives in Israel I was puzzled.  How could she be calling me with a nachas call when she hasn’t seen any of my family in over a year? She proceeded to explain the nachas.  It was about me and my book. My friend said she had given a copy of my book to …
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

June 16th, 2019

Most parents are very careful when choosing a cheder, Yeshiva, Bais Yaakov, or Bais HaMedrash for their each of their children, al pi darcho.  They want to see and experience the saviva, the atmosphere created in the classroom, the nature and personality of the Rebbe or Morah, and the overall hashkafa of the school.  Ideally, they observe the instructor in action, how he or she presents material and their demeanor towards their students …
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

September 13th, 2018

It was only the second generation of mankind, and already murder was introduced into the world.  In the aftermath of a stunning act of fratricide, Kaayin is condemned to wander the earth in isolation (Na v’Nad: Na to wander and Nad to be isolated, shunned. See Rav Hirsch on Braishis 4:12).  But the Torah is terse in its description of the aftermath, and questions arise. Kaayin responds by saying “great is my sin to bear.&rdq …
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

April 16th, 2018

Kids are not the ones who necessarily need to sit down with a therapist.  When parents gain the tools to manage stress and their own emotions in a healthy way, they’re better prepared to be there for their children.  Kids react to their environment.  When the adults are able to put children’s needs before their own, that’s when we see children behaving differently. They feel nurtured. (Lisa Marie Bobby, PhD. Cited …
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

March 11th, 2018

What is the point of punishment?  What is it supposed to accomplish?  We’ll look at types of punishment used by parents with children, but first let’s look at punishment as it relates to criminals. The four most common theories of punishment of criminals are: retribution, deterrence, rehabilitation, and incapacitation.  (The Oxford Handbook of Criminal Law, Edited by Markus D. Dubber and Tatjana Hörnle, Part III, S …
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