Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

January 26th, 2020

When your child was in the cradle, you spent a lot of time with her.  She would call out to you and no matter what you were doing, you put everything else aside to spend time with her when she wanted you.  You knew how much you meant to her and you were there for her. Sadly, as infants grow into children and children into teenagers, many parents think they don’t mean that much to their children or teens any more.  That is a m …
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

January 16th, 2020

The following story is fictitious and realistic. Many couples come to me to discuss their children. Grifa and Katima Kohl came to me to talk about their parents.  They said that whenever either set of their children’s grandparents comes for Shabbos, the household gets heated and stirred up.  I asked the Kohls to give me an example of how their home goes into turmoil when grandparents are there for Shabbos. For some reason, my pare …
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

January 12th, 2020

The weed of crime bears bitter fruit; crime does not pay. Who knew? Actually, there’s not a shadow of a doubt that for many people crime does pay.  That’s why there are so many crimes committed, because most of the time, crime pays.  The perpetrator gets away with it. What are the odds of getting caught?  According to the FBI, not very high. Let’s look at the numbers. In 2017, violent crime resulted in an arrest 4 …
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

January 6th, 2020

What do you really mean when you say: It doesn’t matter? "l had really wanted to go to the vort tonight, but if you really need me to stay home l will; it doesn't matter." "l had really wanted to go to the shiur tonight, but if you really need me to stay home I will; it doesn't matter." "l had really wanted to go to the Tehilim group tonight, but if you need me to stay home I will; it doesn't matter." What is the "it" that doesn't matter? I …
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

December 31st, 2019

Mechanics work on cars made on an assembly line.  Those cars are made to specification and each one must meet those specifications precisely. This has been the case since December 1, 1913, the day mass production began at the Ford Motor Company.  It is still how cars are made today, but the way mechanics work on those cars has changed dramatically over recent decades. In 1969 I got my first car, a 1965 Buick.  It had amenities you …
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

December 23rd, 2019

I once spoke to a group of parents at a girls’ school in the city.  I gave the menaheles a few topics from which to choose.  She chose “Dreading Bedtime.” I think that another topic could have “Dreading Reveille: Marshalling Your Young Troops Every Morning.” This is such a common topic that it has its own song, "Oh! How I Hate to Get Up in the Morning," written by Irving Berlin back in 1918!  This issu …
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

December 1st, 2019

Rabba, before opening [his shiur] to the Rabbanan, used to say something amusing and the scholars were amused. (Shabbos 30b) Did you ever wonder what sorts of things Rabba said? Perhaps, “How many Tzadukim does it take to change a light bulb?”* I guess we’ll never know what humorous thoughts Rabba shared. It may seem that the earliest example of humor is found in Parshas Lech L’chah, when HaShem tells Avraham Aveinu to nam …
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

November 24th, 2019

Migraine headaches are a scourge for many people.  A migraine can cause severe throbbing pain so severe that it interferes with the sufferer’s daily activities. There is now available a medication that claims to cut the number of monthly migraine days in half for some patients.  The list price of this medication is $575 per month.  Sadly, as of now, there is no known way to eliminate migraines. High among the list of pain ind …
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

November 18th, 2019

Some parents think that devices are the bane of their existence and the source of most of the pain of parenting, tzar gidul banim. Then how do you understand this excerpt from Tefilah Zaka: Hinei k’var la’kinu b’shibud malchius, v’yisurin sh’baguf, oh anius, v’tzar gidul banim, u’shaar machovim.  Behold, You have already stricken us with foreign rule, with physical afflictions, or poverty, and the pa …
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

November 18th, 2019

Why do children misbehave?  For the same reasons that adults do. End of article.  Have a nice day. Okay, I’ll elaborate. Children misbehave either because they don’t know what you would consider “behaving,” or because they aren’t able to do what you consider “behaving,” or because they would rather do something you call “misbehaving,” or because they want to defy you. Does any of tha …
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