Frum Therapist: Mental Health Resources for the Frum Community
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Parenting With Rabbi Ackerman
Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC
Click here to view my clinical profile
When a parent tells me that she is overwhelmed, I usually say "That sounds very difficult. What do you do when you're overwhelmed?"
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Showing Results 1 - 10 (297 total)
Truth
Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC
December 26th, 2021

Our tefilos are worded in the plural.  Give us wisdom, return us in teshuva, forgive us, and ten more requests in the Shemona Esrei, always asking on behalf of all of us. Mar b’rai d’Ravina had an additional request. Mar b’rai d’Ravina ki havei mesayeim tselosei amar hachi: Elokai, n’tsor leshoni meirah u’sifosei midaber mirmah. V’limkalelei nafshi sidom v’nafshi k’afar lakol tihyeh. When …
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I’ll Speak With You Later
Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC
December 26th, 2021

I’ve read that when you are angry at your child you should take a deep breath and count to ten before you say anything.  Every time I’m about to tell my child what she did wrong, I stop, take a deep breath, and count to ten.  After I’ve done all that, I say the exact same thing in the same angry voice that I was going to say to begin with.  What’s the point of breathing and counting when I end up the same, R …
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The Children Said That?
Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC
December 13th, 2021

The Rabbis said to Rabbi Yehoshua ben Levi: Young students came today to the bais medrash and said things the likes of which were not said even in the days of Yehoshua bin Nun!  (Shabbos 104a) Why mention that the children came today? It appears to me, b’Siyata d’Shmaya, that the Rabbis said today to emphasize that if children in earlier generations had said such insights we would not have been so surprised and impressed.  B …
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Ikar vTafel
Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC
December 13th, 2021

Ikar v’Tafel is a principle of primary and secondary importance.  The level of importance has halachic ramifications in hilchos Shabbos and in liturgy. Hamotzei oechlin pachos mi’kshir b’kli, patur af al ha’kli she’ha’kli tafela lo. One who carries out food [in a vessel on Shabbos] less than the amount of food one is  prohibited to carry, is exempt, even for carrying out the vessel [which would otherw …
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Compare Your Child
Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC
December 13th, 2021

Tanu rabbanan: shtei shanim u’mechtza nechleku Bais Shammai u’Bais Hillel. Halalu omrim noach lo le'adam shelo nivra yoseir mi’sh’nivra v’halalu omrim noach lo le'adam sh’nivra yoseir mi’shelo nivra. Nimnu v’gamru noach lo le'adam shelo nivra yoseir mi’sh’nivra .  Achshav sh’nivra, y’fashfeish b’ma'asav, v’amri lah,  y’mashmeish b’ma'asav. &n …
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Pick Up Sticks or Enhance Your Dromedary
Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC
December 13th, 2021

Tafasta merubah, lo tafasta; tafasta mu'at, tafasta. If you [try to] take many, you will not take [anything]; If you [try to] take a small amount, you will take [it]. (Chagigah 17a) Feelings of anxiety often result from believing that you need to do more than you can possibly do.  Unfortunately, anxiety often is expressed in the form of anger at the people and tasks you have taken onto your plate to do. Feelings are messengers, they tell you …
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Make Counting to 10 Count
Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC
December 13th, 2021

Hevei misunim ba’din, be deliberate in judgment.  (Avos 1:1) How much did it once cost when someone was not deliberate in judgment? Rav Adda bar Ahava saw a non-Jewish woman who was wearing a karbalta, a racy garment inappropriate for Jewish women [Maharsha], in the marketplace. He thought that she was Jewish so he tore it from her. It was then determined that she was a Gentile.  [She sued him and was awarded] four hundred zuz.&nb …
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Much A Dew About Nothing
Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC
December 13th, 2021

When Rabbi Tarfon taught: Lo alecha ha-malacha ligmor (Avos 2:16), he might not have had homework in mind.  If the alecha is you, the parent, it certainly applies. Now that the midsummer nights they dream about all year are over, our children are back in school.  One local Yeshiva’s science teacher welcomed his students back with this missive to their parents: I hope this email finds you well. It was really nice seeing the boys ba …
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Bedtime Thoughts
Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC
November 7th, 2021

Mar b’rai d’Ravina ki havah mesayeim tzelosei amar hachi: Yih'yu l'ratzon imrei fi v’hegyon libi l’fanecha… Mar, the son of Ravina, when he concluded his tefilah, said the following: May the words of my mouth and the thoughts of my heart find favor before You...(Tehilim 19:15 cited in Brachos 17a) What do we mean when we say this pasuk at the end of our tefila? If, when we were davening, the words of our mouths matc …
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Be Attracted to Opposites
Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC
October 26th, 2021

Ben Bag Bag says: hafoch bah v’hafoch bah, dcholah bah (Avos 5:22) Hafoch in it and hafoch in it.  What is it?  The Torah. What does hafoch mean? Rav said to Rav Kahana, hafoch with an animal carcass, do not hafoch with words.  (Pesachim 113a) This means a person should involve himself (hafoch) with a carcass rather than involving himself with words because the latter leads to inappropriate speech... (Maharsha ibid) Accordin …
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