Frum Therapist: Mental Health Resources for the Frum Community
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Mental Health Resources
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Showing Results 1 - 40 (268 total)
A Child's Fear of Death
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW, QCSW, DCSW
December 3rd, 2018

Dear Therapist: One of our children is obsessed with death. He is 6 years old and is constantly asking questions about it. He asks us when we will die, when bubby and zaidy will die, etc. It used to be kind of cute when he planned for our demise, but recently he has been getting much more serious about it. He has been worrying more and has been waking up with "bad dreams" in middle of the night. We try to be reassuring, and th …
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Abrupt Therapy Termination
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW, QCSW, DCSW
November 18th, 2021

Dear Therapist: Hi, I look forward to your column each week because you always have such insightful answers and opinions.
My therapist recently terminated my therapy with her. My psychiatrist as well has abruptly ended my treatment. I was not informed of the reasons as to why they stopped seeing me, and they did not give me closure either. I was wondering if this is a common thing for therapists and doctors to do. I was also wondering if I a …
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Addiction in the Jewish Community
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW, QCSW, DCSW
January 3rd, 2018

Dear Therapist: My question is short, but not so simple. I am an addict. Being an addict is very challenging, painful and lonely, but it’s extra difficult to suffer from this disease in the Jewish community. It’s such a stigma and I have to hide my whole life from everyone. My question is, how can I learn to accept and love myself, to forgive myself for all the wrong I’ve done when I know that if people knew I am an addict, I wo …
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Adult ADHD
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW, QCSW, DCSW
November 18th, 2021

Dear Therapist: My primary care physician recently told my husband that he thinks he has ADHD. My husband never had that diagnosis as a child, though I am not sure that means anything because he had a lot of different issues going on as a kid and that may have slipped through the cracks. Baruch Hashem he is doing fine now but has had trouble staying on track, specifically in work related areas. The doctor would like to prescribe him med …
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Affordable Quality Orthodox Therapists--Myth or Reality?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW, QCSW, DCSW
October 23rd, 2020

Dear Therapist: I have a question which I hope you can help me with:   I'm looking for a new therapist, one that is in-network and takes my insurance. I'm doing a ton of research, calling up therapists, clinics etc...but I keep bumping into the money issue. I just hung up with yet another therapist that didn't work out, and I'm honestly feeling helpless, hopeless and demoralized. Is this how the system is g …
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Am I a Hypochondriac?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW, QCSW, DCSW
February 1st, 2017

Dear Therapist: I go through periods of time when I am consumed with worry about my health. I will be OK for a few months but then I wind up spending all day convinced that I have some sort of horrible illness. I wish I would be able to function normally. Why is this happening to me, and what can I do to stop it?   Response: There can be numerous triggers for fears related to health.  From a clinical perspective, Illness Anxiety Disorde …
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Am I Anxious and Depressed, or Just Unmotivated?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW, QCSW, DCSW
May 11th, 2022

Dear Therapist: I struggle a lot with motivation. I have studied a lot of psychology on my own and have a good understanding of how to deal with negative emotions. I can deal with sadness and anxiety and stop them from interfering with my life but I still just don't feel energized and motivated. It is easy for people to tell me that I should "just do it" but I think that emotions are necessary for us to be driven and I just don't seem to have tha …
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Am I Assertive or Aggressive?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW, QCSW, DCSW
November 21st, 2016

November 18, 2016 Dear Therapist: What is the balance between getting what you want, sometimes being pushy.., and letting go? Example, I called doctor to get an appointment for one of my children, they were overbooked and only let him come for culture. The culture was negative and my son was complaining about his ears... so I was a little pushy, and the nurse did let me into a room. Now I am not sure that my son saw a good example... luckily, the …
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Am I Being Bullied?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW, QCSW, DCSW
August 13th, 2020

Dear Therapist: I am a 15-year-old bochur in what many consider a choshuve mesivta. I consider myself a nice person. Perhaps I am a bit shy. I am often the subject of “sharfe” lines by the bochurim in yeshiva. There is a mehalech in the yeshiva of everyone trying to show how sharf and quick and smart they are, and for whatever reason I am the punching bag. Maybe cuz I’m an out of town …
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Am I My Husband's Keeper?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW, QCSW, DCSW
December 26th, 2019

Dear Therapist: My husband has been diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. He is also overweight and has slightly high blood pressure. He is on medication to help with these issues but his doctors keep emphasizing that he needs to eat healthily and exercise in order to really control these problems and prevent dangerous complications. I have been a dutiful wife and been preparing healthy meals for him. He eats those but will sneak unhealthy food at oth …
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Angry, Defiant Child
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW, QCSW, DCSW
August 13th, 2020

Dear Therapist: We had been having some difficulties with our 7 year old son through the beginning of the school year. He had just been very angry and chutpahdik. In general he seems to have trouble expressing what is bothering him and seems to act out instead. Over the 3 months in which he was not going to school there was a noticeable change in his behavior for the better. My husband and I looked at each other one day and it hit us how wel …
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Angry Teenager
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW, QCSW, DCSW
May 11th, 2022

Dear Therapist: I have a 13 year old son who has been having these anger outbursts. He has always been a pretty good kid but since his bar mitzvah has been getting really angry with his parents and siblings. He has been physical with his siblings and talks with a lot of chutzpah to his parents, especially his father. His rabbeim say he is doing well in school and there hasn't been much of a change in his life other than the added respon …
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Anonymous Overeaters
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW, QCSW, DCSW
April 5th, 2017

Dear Therapist: I have struggled for years with overeating and dieting. I was put on a diet at a young age (I was not overweight; it was purely for aesthetics) and as a result I have spent over 20 years yoyo dieting. I mostly maintain a normal to slightly large physique, so my health is not in great danger. But I cannot seem to get beyond this. I use food to cope and to relieve any emotions I cannot handle. I basically wake up and crash whatever …
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Anti Vaxxers
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW, QCSW, DCSW
July 18th, 2019

Dear Therapist: As everyone not living under a rock is aware, there has recently been an outbreak of measles in the frum community. While most of you are not medical doctors I was hoping you can help me from a psychological perspective. How can it be that something like vaccines that are considered safe and necessary by 99.9 percent of the medical community and somehow people have a cramp in their head against it? How are we to understa …
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Anxiety or ADHD
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW, QCSW, DCSW
February 7th, 2019

Dear Therapist: I have always struggled in several areas such as concentration, inability to complete projects, and too much talking. I have read articles about this and some seem to suggest that this is about anxiety while others indicate that it is ADHD related. How do I differentiate between these two possibilities?   Response: There are many symptoms that can apply to various disorders. Sometimes it can be difficult to ascertain which pr …
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Anxiety Or Concern...Which Is It?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW, QCSW, DCSW
September 19th, 2017

Dear Therapist: I have struggled with anxiety all my life. I spent a few years in therapy and BH have it under control to the point where is doesn't severely impact my life like it used to. My question is it ever appropriate for me to be anxious or should I always be working on trying to remain calm. I hear people say that some anxiety is good but I wonder if that applies to someone like me. Even regarding the Yemei Hadin I wonder if the yirah th …
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Anxiety or Language Issue
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW, QCSW, DCSW
May 11th, 2022

Dear Therapist: Our 13-year-old daughter is a very sweet girl who is not the best academically but overall does well.  She is however pretty quiet in general, seems slightly anxious and seems to have trouble really expressing herself. For example she has a hard time describing the details of a story and usually will just talk in short sentences and will answer a question with a word or two. We are considering therapy for her but someone rece …
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Is Financial Stress Hurting My Family?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW, QCSW, DCSW
May 16th, 2019

Dear Therapist: We have recently experienced some significant financial difficulties which require us to change our standards of living. Up until 4-5 months ago, we were living what most people would consider a wealthy lifestyle. The reasons for the downturn are not important but it has been very rough on us as a family. This has caused my husband a lot of stress and has impacted our marriage as well. We are also having a difficult time explaini …
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Are my issues conscious or unconscious?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW, QCSW, DCSW
January 25th, 2017

Dear Therapist: One of the panelists recently mentioned that “the source of the problem needs to be uncovered and healed” in order to really feel safe and secure. I’ve been wondering for a while how this is actually done in therapy. I’m married in my twenties with some kids and have been struggling with general anxiety. I’ve been seeing a therapist for a couple of months now and she’s really helped me a lot on …
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Are We All Addicts?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW, QCSW, DCSW
July 31st, 2019

Dear Therapist: What qualifies something as an addiction? My brother plays video games all day. Does that make him an addict? My mother shops all day. Is she addicted to shopping? It seems like the word addiction gets thrown around a lot these days but when is it really a true thing and when is it just an excuse for continuing behavior that you don't want to stop? I get that cigarettes, alcohol and the like are considered addicting but are we to …
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Assertiveness in a Medical Crisis
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW, QCSW, DCSW
December 3rd, 2018

Dear Therapist: I am currently involved in a medical crisis (I was diagnosed with an illness, but we are not sure how serious it is yet). I need to get a lot of opinions from doctors and make choices regarding my treatment. I have never really been an assertive person but now I am really lost. Everyone has an opinion, I have no idea what to do and the doctors are talking over my head. It seems that if I don’t push I don’t get answered …
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Autism Effects on a Family
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW, QCSW, DCSW
September 26th, 2019

Dear Therapist: Our 7-year-old son has always been challenging. He is a challenge behaviorally and has a difficult time getting along with his siblings and his friends. On the advice of our pediatrician, we had him evaluated and we got a diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder. Now we have a name to the problem and are working on figuring out our best approach for treatment. As we are approaching yom tov and will be spending it together w …
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Bad Business
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW, QCSW, DCSW
September 26th, 2019

Dear Therapists, My husband keeps on making bad investments and losing money. He borrows money to try and invest and now he has lost other people’s money. He is totally out of touch with reality vis-à-vis his business ability, complete oyalam hadimyon, but it doesn’t "pas" for him to work for someone else or get a regular job. I am at my wits’ end. Please suggest how to talk some sense into him.   Response: I&rs …
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Bad Shidduch
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW, QCSW, DCSW
March 30th, 2018

Dear Therapist: My best friend recently became engaged. I should be overjoyed; however, I am very afraid for her. She has never had great self-esteem and is not a great judge of character. Her chosson does not appear to be a good person at all. He doesn’t treat her with respect and is constantly making demeaning remarks to her in front of everyone. You can tell a lot from the way others talk about him as well. I feel like she just …
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Balancing Differing Needs in a Family System
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW, QCSW, DCSW
September 6th, 2017

Dear Therapist: Our 19-year-old son is sadly no longer shomer torah umitzvos. This is a tremendous source of pain and turmoil for the entire family. My wife and I are trying very hard to do what is best for him in accordance with the guidance we are receiving from Rabbonim and professionals. With lots of thought and hard work, we are slowly working on repairing our relationship with our son. Our question is regarding our other chil …
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Balancing Parents' and Children's Emotional Needs
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW, QCSW, DCSW
August 23rd, 2018

Dear Therapist: My husband and I have been struggling with our 17-year-old son.  He is not currently in yeshiva and his shmiras hamitzvos leaves a lot to be desired. We have been getting advice from some rabbonim with experience in this area and have been meeting with a therapist for the last few months. All agree that, at this time, we should not be pushing or forcing our son when it comes to his Yiddishkeit. The is …
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BDD, OCD, or Normal Teenage Concern About Appearance?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW, QCSW, DCSW
June 29th, 2017

Dear Therapist: My 13 year old son is very busy with how he looks. He is my oldest so it's hard for me to get a sense of what's normal for this age. My friends say it's just a stage but I am worried about it becoming a problem. He has taken up exercising and dieting and is very into it. He spends quite a bit of time each day getting dressed. He has made a few cracks to my husband about how he looks. I would appreciate any guidance you can give me …
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Bipolar or Normal Mood Swings
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW, QCSW, DCSW
February 7th, 2019

Dear Therapist: I often experience what seem like dramatic mood changes. One day I'll wake up with loads of energy ready to take on the world and the next I will sit in bed trying to convince myself to get out of bed. I am sometimes full of joy and optimism and other times just retreat into myself. My friends joke that I am "bipolar." I asked my doctor about it and his response was something to the effect of, "We all have our ups and downs" and t …
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Blending Families
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW, QCSW, DCSW
December 26th, 2019

Dear Therapist: Baruch Hashem I recently became engaged to a wonderful man! I have two great teenage boys from a previous marriage that ended in divorce. Their father has no custody or visitation and is not involved in their lives. As we prepare for marriage, we have been getting a lot of advice from well-meaning friends and rabbis about how important it is for my future husband and me to spend “alone time” together after we get marr …
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Boredom or ADHD
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW, QCSW, DCSW
April 20th, 2018

Dear Therapist: My 10-year-old son constantly needs to be entertained. He is never able to just sit still and keep himself busy. He enjoys listening to Jewish tapes of stories (Rabbi Erps, Rebbe Hill, etc.) but he will listen for 5 hours straight. And he will constantly kvetch about not being able to listen if we don’t allow it. Is it healthy for someone to spend that much time like that? It’s like he has become obsessed wit …
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Brothers Estranged
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW, QCSW, DCSW
August 13th, 2020

Dear Therapist: I have been estranged from my brother for 8 years. This happened as a result of a financial issue where I felt he had cheated me. I got some bad advice at the time regarding how I should deal with it and that led to all the issues. There were mistakes made on both sides and we have been locked in. I’m not going to kid myself; there was a lot of nasty lashon horah and machlokes on my part but also on his. …
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Building Self-Esteem
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW, QCSW, DCSW
May 14th, 2013

I don't believe that anyone can reach the peak of true self-esteem. We all view ourselves externally at least to some extent. The goal is to reduce externally based feelings about ourselves and to increase those intrinsically based. Some people will focus on building self-esteem so as to reduce or eliminate depressive or anxious feelings. Others can continually work toward an increasingly better sense of self. The great irony of self-esteem is t …
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Call Me Stonewall Husband
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW, QCSW, DCSW
March 24th, 2021

Dear Therapist: Overall, my husband and I—married for ten years with five wonderful children—have beautiful shalom bayis,. We have a loving relationship and bring harmony and happiness into our home on a day-to-day basis. The problem is when we have something to work through. When I do something or say something that upsets my husband he totally shuts down and becomes handicapped at communicating. He is not overall an emotio …
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Camp Anxiety Disclosure
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW, QCSW, DCSW
November 18th, 2021

Dear Therapist: I am a teenaged girl, popular, with a lot of personality, if I do say so myself. I’m the kind of girl who is the life of the party, and enjoys making the fun for the group, trying to make sure all are included at the same time. I applied for a staff position at a camp that is very excited to have me but got stuck on the application itself. I have a mild case of anxiety and am prescribed Zoloft. (They asked for addi …
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Can I Convince My Sister to Seek Help?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW, QCSW, DCSW
August 13th, 2020

Dear Therapist: I have a younger sister (age 24) who I care about very much. She had a rough childhood as far as being picked on in school and since she is a nonconformist got in a lot of trouble. Her relationship with my parents has also been very up and down with a lot of negativity and hurt feelings. She has a small part-time job that she gets no satisfaction from. To me she is clearly depressed and she admits as much. She is very smart and no …
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Can I Force Someone Into Treatment?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW, QCSW, DCSW
November 30th, 2017

Dear Therapist: What options are there for someone who clearly needs treatment but refuses to get it? I am currently involved with two cases where the person has serious issues that are affecting themselves and their families but won’t go for help.  In one case the person is so depressed they barely leave the house for anything and won’t even hear of it. In the other case the person thinks there is nothing wrong with them but the …
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Can I Pay for Your Therapy?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW, QCSW, DCSW
January 3rd, 2018

Dear Therapist: I have a friend who is really struggling and after many conversations he has finally agreed to go to therapy. We did a lot of research and have found some therapists that would suit him. Unfortunately he cannot afford to pay for therapy. I have offered to pay for therapy but the therapist does not want to allow us to do so. He says he believes that it is important for the patient to pay for therapy themselves and that it is not a …
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Can I Quit Smoking?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW, QCSW, DCSW
March 30th, 2018

Dear Therapist: I took my first cigarette in 9th grade. I have been smoking steadily for the past 15 years. If I am honest I realize that it is a big health risk but that doesn’t seem to motivate me to stop. I guess I kind of “want to want” to stop. It certainly would make my wife and parents happy.  My questions are: 1. Do you have any suggestions as to how to become more motivated to quit?  2. Are there any specific …
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Can My Therapist be Irreligious?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW, QCSW, DCSW
March 15th, 2022

Dear Therapist: Our 21-year-old son has been struggling for a while and would like to begin therapy. He is pretty insistent that he wants to only see a non-frum or not Jewish therapist. It is hard to get a straight answer from him as to why he is so insistent on this. It's a shame that he is so adamant about this at a time when there are so many qualified therapists that are bnei torah. Being that he is 21 he can pretty much go to whoever he want …
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Can Therapy Help Me?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW, QCSW, DCSW
August 13th, 2020

Dear Therapist: I’m wondering if therapy can help a person who is in a difficult situation that can’t be changed. I understand if someone is depressed with life therapy can help them feel better but if someone is dealing with a reality that is bad is there a point of going to therapy? I understand the question is broad but I would prefer not to go into my own personal details. Either way there are many such examples, financial, famili …
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