Author: Shira Frank, LCSW

December 26th, 2016

Achieving Spiritual Goals in Difficult Home Situations By: Shira Frank LCSW               Upon marriage, a spouse may have specific goals that may or may not be fulfilled, depending on a variety of circumstances in the marriage. There are cases where a spouse finds him/herself at a “standstill” due to a “plateau” in relation to his/her spouse’s spiritua …
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Author: Shira Frank, LCSW

November 24th, 2019

Q: As I look back upon Yom Tov, I feel like I spent far too much time refereeing fights among my children. This began before Yom Tov, when it came to assigning jobs. My 14-year-old son complained that he always gets the same job that he hates and that his brother never completes the job that is given to him. The younger son defended himself, and they soon got into a screaming match. My husband and I spend too much time mediating arguments. More i …
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Author: Shira Frank, LCSW

November 24th, 2019

Q: I have been married close to 13 years and since the beginning it has been a turbulent marriage. Our marital issues have recently intensified, as my husband’s erratic behavior became too much for me to live with. We have one child together. It’s gotten to the point that the police were actually involved, and my 12-year-old son had to witness part of this, which was clearly traumatic for him. It is clear that the marriage is on its w …
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Author: Shira Frank, LCSW

December 26th, 2016

COPING WITH CRITICISM   Dear Shira:     I generally consider myself a happy person and try to see the good in whatever happens to me. Yet, when people criticize me, especially my family or close friends, I take it to heart too much. My husband thinks that I overreact to what is said to me. I try not to become unhappy when feeling insulted, but my efforts are in vain. Do you have any thoughts about this? Answer:  &nb …
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Author: Shira Frank, LCSW

December 26th, 2016

Dealing With Anger                 Anger by its very nature has positive and negative potential. The constructive potential of anger can be seen by those whose anger towards evil consumes them till it motivates them to enact phenomenal good in the world. The rage towards that which is “unholy” and “unG-dly” so to speak, is the motivating force that often …
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Author: Shira Frank, LCSW

December 31st, 2016

Differences in Marriage By: Shira Frank, LCSW  Q: I have been having difficulty with my husband in recent months. His whole personality is very different from mine – he is very outgoing and friendly, and very much enjoys a lot of social activities. I am more quiet and prefer to stay close to home. Until recently, I used to go along with my husband to any social events, in order to make him happy. But its gotten to a point where I resen …
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Author: Shira Frank, LCSW

January 7th, 2017

Emotional Bankruptcy By: Shira Frank, LCSW   Dear Shira,             I consider myself happily married, but lately, my husband and I seem to be having a problem. We have been having “cold wars” lately where there is no real arguing between us, but I just feel a lot of tension (We are both quite strong willed people by nature, so we make a great attempt to avoid arguing) If so …
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Author: Shira Frank, LCSW

January 17th, 2017

Marital  Conflict By: Shira Frank Dear Shira              I have recently begun to lose patience with my husband, who I have been married to for eleven years. If I tell him something that he doesn’t want to hear, he just ignores me. I have come to constantly screaming to express myself to him, but that doesn’t seem to help. He mentioned that he would like to improve thi …
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Author: Shira Frank, LCSW

February 22nd, 2017

Realistic Expectations of Marriage: An Overview 10 Years later By: Shira Frank, LCSW               In general, one's level of satisfaction in one’s marriage is dependent on one’s initial expectations. Either the reality of one's marriage is very close, is very far or has surpassed one's initial expectations. Sometimes after 10 years of marriage, a spouse feels resentment towa …
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Author: Shira Frank, LCSW

December 26th, 2016

Reforming Stressful Situations By: Shira Frank, LCSW   Dear Shira:             I recently went to my doctor and my blood pressure has gone up. The doctor said I might need medication, but  I’m afraid to start on pills. I don't know many people who stop using them. He said that I should decrease my stress level, but that’s easier said than done. I’ve begun to exer …
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Author: Shira Frank, LCSW

February 4th, 2017

Rekindling Sparks In Marriage Shira Frank, LCSW   Q: I have been married for eleven years, and have four children , B'li ayin hora. My husband works late hours to help pay for our children's tuition, and I barley have time to speak to him during the week. (He sleeps through much of Shabbos.) His personality has become quite irritating to me – he just seems to  talk about his work, and doesn't seem to care to be part of my life. I …
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Author: Shira Frank, LCSW

June 8th, 2015

Question: Dear Shira:             I am a thirty five year old woman, recently divorced. All the Rabbonim who I consulted felt that divorce was the necessary step for me to take, and I am quite relived to be out of the marriage. However, in recent months, I’ve been having difficulties with my older son in being able to discipline him. He also has mixed feelings after visits with my ex-hu …
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Author: Shira Frank, LCSW

November 24th, 2019

Q: As the new year gets underway, I find myself looking back at past years and thinking about how I’ve been as a mother. I think my patience has improved somewhat, but when I look at my husband, I just see ways in which his general attitude has become more negative. I’m sure a main cause is that he’s been under a lot of stress due to his work (he’s self-employed), and has suffered a lot of financial setbacks. He snaps at o …
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Author: Shira Frank, LCSW

November 24th, 2019

Q: I’ve had difficulty dealing with my mother-in-law since I first got married nearly 15 years ago. She is a Holocaust survivor who is still embittered and wants all her married children to cater to her. She can come over to our house and criticize the children, then question us if we don’t discipline them in the way that she thinks is correct. My husband doesn’t respond to her directly when she behaves this way, but my children …
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Author: Shira Frank, LCSW

December 26th, 2016

The Need To Grow Up   Q: Dear Shira,           Though I am married with a family for many years, I often feel like a little girl, In relation to my older sister and parents. I thought that once I would have a family of my own, I would be treated differently. Being the youngest, my opinion is not really responded in the family and I’m looked at one who always “needs help.” do you …
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