I know people who have killed themselves over sex and internet addiction, been put in jail, and contracted all types of horrible diseases. This is a progressive disease. Once the images are no longer exciting enough, people go on to more dangerous; thrill seeking activities like participating with live people instead of simply looking.   If you don't stop now, you're headed for hell on earth. Marriage will not solve this. So many singles I speak to tell me they thought it would get better and they wouldn't need it anymore.

THROW AWAY THE IPOD or erase it and give it to someone else. I know it is hard. I knew a fellow who looked at X-rated movies for over 30 years. The day he stopped he called me on the phone crying like a baby. He told me the people on the screen were his "friends" and he couldn't leave them. IS THAT CRAZY OR WHAT? But he was still in his addiction and couldn't think straight.   If you want Hashem to help you and only HE can you must become a pure vessel which can accept HIS help. If you're stuck in the mud, HE won't pull you out; you have to make the effort. Throwing it out NOW is the effort, then your mind will clear up, you'll get back to your learning and Hashem will help you.  

I'm so frum; I can't go to meetings in a church…..   I know frum people who have been going to meetings in churches for over 10 years. They are still frum and people actually respect them as a frum Jew for wearing a kippa than when they don't. Rabbi Abraham Twersky, M.D. says you can and should attend even in a church.   Let me get this straight, it's OK to be seen going into a strip club or XXX video store or masturbating at your computer but now when you want to get better you can't go into a church? The meetings will literally save your life. It's pikuach nefesh.

It's also your "addict" speaking telling you, you're too frum to go into a meeting. The meetings are not in the sanctuary of the church, they're usually in a classroom.  

Twice a year there is a convention of frum Jews and their wives. They all have this problem. All of them go to SA meetings. They said the same thing you did. "I could never show my face in such a place." These people COULD show their faces in strip joints, xxx video stores and in the arms of strange women, but when it came to getting better, they were just too frum to go to a meeting that would save their life! Now some of them have 3-4-10-20 years of sobriety from this disease because of meetings and having someone who understands to talk to. It's that simple.  

Hashem put you in this situation because that is your nisoyon (test) to overcome. HE never gives us a challenge we cannot overcome. But the more you look at it, the further away from G-d you get and the further away from YOURSELF you get. See, when we sin, we are really sinning against ourselves. Take responsibility for your own actions, but do not judge others.  

Copyright Allan J. Katz, 2020