Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

May 9th, 2014

Question: I have always managed to cope with various difficulties in my life (which have been no more, no less than other people I know), but recently I have been overwhelmed by a few things that happened all at once.  I have friends who I talk to, and my mother helps me out when I need her. Everyone keeps telling me I should see a therapist but I'm not quite sure how and why a therapist can help me more than my family and friends. &nbs …
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Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

May 9th, 2014

          You walk in to my office for the first time. It is an interview, for both of us, and we both don’t want to fail. There is much you learn about me although I reveal nothing verbally. My office is simple. Four walls. A chair. A couch. A lamp. My books line the shelves. They tell the story of what interests me, theories and philosophies that inform my orientation and work. My diplomas and certificates ar …
2 comments

Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

May 9th, 2014

            Talk about phobias.             My daughter-in-law was always a little bit uncomfortable flying on airplanes. Made sense, if you think about it. It’s the rest of us who think it’s normal being cooped up in a machine flying higher than the clouds and no safety net if this machine decides it doesn’t want to fly anymore. But anyway …
1 comments

Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

May 9th, 2014

Note: This article was originally commissioned for a magazine put out by LINKS, an organization that supports teens who have lost a parent(s).               “I'm fine! There is nothing wrong with me!”             “I don't need therapy. Maybe my mother/father/sister/brother needs therapy.”         …
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Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

May 9th, 2014

Question:  I'm a little embarrassed to admit it, although everyone who knows me is aware of it, but I’m afraid of flying in an airplane. Until now it hasn't been a problem because I just didn't fly. When we were newly married, I flew to Florida on vacation with my wife a few times but even that petered out over the years as it just wasn't worth it to me. Israel was out of the question so my wife ended up flying herself. But now my son …
1 comments

Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

May 9th, 2014

Question:  I am a principal in a girls' elementary school. I found your past two columns about therapy very informative and although I have never been a believer in therapy, I'm beginning to rethink my attitudes and wonder if therapy can help different students who are struggling socially or in other ways, as well as some parents who come through my door. So here is my question: How do I know how to find the right therapist for a student or …
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Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

June 8th, 2014

Note: This question and the following article was originally published in the Ask-the-Therapist column of Jewish Echo Magazine Question:   My son is Bar Mitzvah age and doesn't seem to have interest in staying for all of davening or laining in shul. Often, he refuses to come to shul at all. He says he's tired or not feeling well, but then of course feels better after the Shabbos meal to play with his friends for two hours. Should I push him …
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Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

July 10th, 2014

  We meet, you and I.
We shmooze, you and I.
We meet at weddings, at bar-mitzvahs, at the exercise class, and at Chinese auctions. We meet around the pool and at lectures; at the Tehillim group and at our shidduch meetings. We meet socially or we meet at professional conferences. We meet when we are involved in our children's PTA and we meet when we are involved in chessed projects together. And whenever—or wherever we meet …
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Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

July 15th, 2014

Inside me there is a story I must tell. I didn't realize it at first. It began as a slight feeling of unease. Like butterflies in my stomach. But then I began to hear voices. My main character started walking around in my head. “Nu?” she said. “How long do I have to wait?” She lives in Israel, I think, with her religious husband and children. Her non-Jewish brother, Jev, calls her. He says, “Come.” He lives in …
1 comments

Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

July 25th, 2014

Note: Previously published in the Ask-the-Therapist column of the Jewish Echo Magazine July 2014 Thank you for the great advice you give in your Ask-the-Therapist columns. My question is as follows: We have never gone to the Catskills for the summer as there was always that cost factor. My wife really wants to go this year as many friends are there and she feels it would be great for the children. I’m concerned about the cost and being bore …
5 comments

Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

August 7th, 2014

NOTE: This was originally given as a workshop at a LINKS Shabbaton (catering to girls whose parent[s] is deceased) and written as an article in the quarterly LINKS Magazine             When I was a teenager, I was a really popular kid. Loads of friends, fresh mouth in school, leader at sports in camp. So you would think that my life was perfect. Hmm. Not really. Even though I had two parents, although it looked …
1 comments

Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

August 21st, 2014

NOTE: This article was originally written for a LINKS publication, an organization which reaches out to girls whose parent(s) has died               My husband's father was killed in a bus bombing in Yerushulayim when he was eleven. His family got up from shiva right before Purim and yet he does not have any memories of Purim being a sad day that year. When I asked him about that Purim, he said, “I do …
1 comments

Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

September 28th, 2014

Note: This column was originally published in Jewish Echo Magazine in the Ask-the-therapist column 9/14 A parent asks: It's back to school. My daughter is 10 and all excited to start a new year. She's a straight A student and because she is, she is more the shy type and doesn't attract as many friends. Last year she complained and I had to speak to her teachers many times to make sure it was well handled. I feel like it will happen all over again …
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Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

November 10th, 2014

Note: This was published in the monthly ask-the-therapist column of Jewish Echo Magazine Dear Mindy Thank you for your wonderful and insightful columns. My question is as follows. I don't get along with my mother in law and would prefer to not speak with her unless I must I.e. at a simcha.(I guess the easiest way to describe it is - I'm from Mars and she is from Venus )  I do also understand that she is the grandmother of my children an …
6 comments

Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

December 7th, 2014

Note: A variation of this article was published in Jewish Echo Magazine in the column Ask the Therapist   Question: Dear Mindy,   I try to lose weight and regardless of how many times people tell me I look good, I still feel fat. How do I change my perspective about myself instead of staring at the mirror and crying?   Answer:   It seems to me that you want me to wave a magic wand and produce some kind of answer out of thin a …
2 comments

Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

December 14th, 2014

Note: This was originally published in Binah Magazine as the inaugural article for my ongoing column Therapy: A Sneak Peek Inside   Agoraphobia, Borderline, Conduct Disorder, Depression, Encopresis…. Yep, I know the ABCs of mental disorders pretty well. As a matter of fact, when I sat in Abnormal Psychology classes in college, I thought I had symptoms of every mental disorder we learned about. (While I only thought I had them, my kids …
1 comments

Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

December 22nd, 2014

NOTE: This article was originally published in the Jewish Press Don't you hate it when people tell you that you need therapy? It's a nice way of saying, “Hey, Girl, you know you are a little crazy, right?” Or a subtle way of saying, “Girl, you are so messed up you need to have your head unshrinked.” So it's really annoying to have people tell you that there's something wrong with you and stick their nose into your busines …
0 comments

Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

December 29th, 2014

Note: This article was originally published in LINKS MAGAZINE, put out by Links, an organization helping children and teens whose parent(s) has died                  Okay, so I have a friend who tells me, “My mother died when I was eight and I went back to school the day after the funeral. And then I am a teenager and whenever I’m feeling bratty or moody, I bl …
2 comments

Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

January 5th, 2015

Note: This article was orginally published in Jewish Echo Magazine's monthly column "Ask The Therapist."   Dear Therapist, I am a married mother of three. Recently my husband has become very busy at work and doesn't have much time for the children. He says it's a passing stage, because as he builds his business he will be able to hire more help. In the meantime, is there anything I can do for my children to compensate for my husband's lack o …
0 comments

Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

January 13th, 2015

Note: This was originally published in Binah Magazine, in the ongoing column Therapy: A Sneak Peek Inside.              Here's a secret about therapy.             Therapists often go for supervision.             Here's a common scenario (although for reasons of confidentiality, I am using a scenario …
1 comments

Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

January 25th, 2015

NOTE: THIS ARTICLE WAS ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN LINKS MAGAZINE, A PUBLICATION FOR GIRLS WHOSE PARENT(S) HAS DIED   Being a teenager is such hard work, is such a crazy, upside down time, is such a roller coaster ride of emotions, that you have no idea how glad I am that I am no longer one. My son once told me, “Ma, being a teenager is like the chicken pox. You gotta get over it no matter how much it itches.” Imagine my dismay that …
0 comments

Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

March 1st, 2015

NOTE: This article was originally published in the monthly Ask the Therapist column in Jewish Echo Magazine   Question: Our family is a regular middle class family with kids in the local yeshiva and girls’ school. Many of our children’s friends have things that we feel are not necessary for our children to have at their ages, i.e. an ipad for a twelve year old, the latest brand name shoes for our fourteen year old, etc. On t …
1 comments

Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

March 8th, 2015

NOTE: This article was originally published in Therapy: A Sneak Peek Inside, a column in Binah Magazine.   I have a hard time charging for my services. A client comes in to my office. And very soon it’s obvious that the fee for each session is difficult to come by. And inside, it hurts me because I know that it may take a few weeks, even a few months, and sometimes a few years, to address the issues that bring the client int …
5 comments

Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

March 23rd, 2015

Note: This was originally published in JEWISH ECHO MAGAZINES's monthly column "Ask the Therapist."   Question: Recently, my husband’s religious views have been changing. His hashkafos and values are becoming more liberal than they used to be. How can we keep these newly developed differences in our hashkafos from affecting our children?  Answer: Before I answer this question, I would like to make it very, very clear that the perso …
4 comments

Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

April 13th, 2015

NOTE: THIS ARTICLE WAS ORIGINALLY WRITTEN FOR THE COLUMN A SNEAK PEEK INSIDE, IN BINAH MAGAZINE It does seem so drastic.
I mean, the couple just got married and are having a little issue or two. You don’t need a therapist for that, for goodness sake. A little chat with the Rav, a kallah teacher, a little common sense, a little compromise, and all is good as new.
Or that student who is arguing non-stop with her mother. …
2 comments

Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

April 27th, 2015

Question: As a 35-year-old working father of five, I often find myself feeling frustrated. Between my responsibilities as a breadwinner, father, husband, community member, and learner,I often have difficulty juggling everything. How do I prioritize all these responsibilities?   Answer:             First off, I do hope that your wife appreciates being married to such a wonderful guy who …
0 comments

Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

May 12th, 2015

You walk in to my office for the first time. It is an interview, for both of us, and we both don’t want to fail. There is much you learn about me although I reveal nothing verbally. My office is simple. Four walls. A chair. A couch. A lamp. My books line the shelves. They tell the story of what interests me, theories and philosophies that inform my orientation and work. My diplomas and certificates are framed, hanging quietly on the wall. Y …
0 comments

Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

May 18th, 2015

NOTE: THIS ARTICLE WAS ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN LINKS, A MAGAZINE GEARED TO TEENS WHOSE PARENT(S) HAS DIED    I’m back. I have some more stuff to tell you. And you may not want to listen, and that’s okay. My kids often don’t listen to me, either. Except that they secretly are, when they think I don’t see. So maybe you can pretend not to listen; or, when you think I am not looking, you can read this article. Becaus …
0 comments

Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

June 7th, 2015

NOTE: THIS COLUMN WAS ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN BINAH'S THERAPY: A SNEAK PEEK INSIDE Listen to me. You may find yourself in this scenario. For months you have been miserable. Maybe years. You have spoken to friends, confided in mentors, consulted with rabbis, and vented to sisters. And you just couldn't seem to feel better. So you let your husband, your friend, your rav, even your own dear self, convince yourself to try therapy. And you do. And, …
3 comments

Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

June 22nd, 2015

  NOTE: THIS WAS ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN "A SNEAK PEEK INSIDE," AN ONGOING COLUMN IN BINAH MAGAZINE Our community is a marvelous place to raise children. Within a radius of twenty or so blocks, they are located near their grandparents, cousins, schools, shuls, and assorted Uvos U’Banim events they choose to attend. They are enveloped in the security of their close contact with their principals and teachers whom they meet in shul, on th …
6 comments

Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

June 29th, 2015

NOTE: THIS COLUMN WAS ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN JEWISH ECHO MAGAZINE'S ASK THE THERAPIST  QUESTION: I am the parent of a young married couple who is learning in kollel. We send generous support to the couple every month .Recently, my son told me that he needs more money in order to make ends meet. My wife and I both know that it's because his wife overspends on unnecessary luxuries. On one hand I don't want my son to go into debt, yet on the …
0 comments

Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

July 5th, 2015

NOTE: THIS ARTICLE WAS ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN BINAH MAGAZINE'S COLUMN A SNEAK PEEK INSIDE AS A RESPONSE TO AN OUTPOURING OF LETTERS GENERATED BY THE PREVIOUS ARTICLE BOUND TO HAVE BOUNDARIES (ALSO ON MY BLOG)  If I would have known what an outpouring of mail and phone calls my article Bound to Have Boundaries would generate, I would have hired a secretary! Instead, I read through all the mail on my own, took careful notes, and now write t …
1 comments

Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

July 15th, 2015

NOTE: THIS ARTICLE WAS ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN BINAH MAGAZINE I find lessons in the oddest places. Just the other day, sitting in a workshop geared for mental health professionals, I learned that if the wrong conjunction lands up in a sentence, a judge could condemn a man to death. Yep. Death by conjunction***. A conjunction, for those of you like me, who cut grammar class and have only a vague recollection of the word, is the sum total of eig …
0 comments

Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

August 3rd, 2015

NOTE: THIS ARTICLE WAS ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED BY LINKS, AN ORGANIZATION DEDICATED TO SUPPORTINGCHILDREN AND TEENS                     WHOSE PARENT(S) HAS DIED I went to camp because I loved sports. Everything else seemed silly to me.
And I wonder now how idiotic camp seems to a girl whose parent has just died. And she watches from a place far away how her fellow campers can get all excited abo …
0 comments

Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

August 4th, 2015

Last summer, the July column in Jewish Echo Magazine, answering the concerns of a man whose wife wanted to go to the bungalow, garnered a passionate response from readers. Here is my response, a little belated, concise, but addressing the salient points. You can refer to the blog article To the Catskills for the Summer: A Marital Dispute and the comments posted   It's not for nothing that there's an old joke that where there are tw …
0 comments

Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

August 15th, 2015

NOTE: THIS ARTICLE WAS ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN THE COLUMN ASK THE THERAPIST OF JEWISH ECHO MAGAZINE   Question: An integral part of my family life is spending quality "family time" with my children. When we go to the bungalow colony in the summer, I feel that because all the families are so close together, we lose that special "family time" element. How can I preserve that over the summer?   Answer: To be perfectly honest, your question …
1 comments

Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

August 23rd, 2015

NOTE: This article was originally published by Jewish Echo Magazine in Ask-the-Therapist column   Question: As a 35-year-old working father of five, I often find myself feeling frustrated. Between my responsibilities as a breadwinner, father, husband, community member, and learner,I often have difficulty juggling everything. How do I prioritize all these responsibilities?   Answer: First off, I do hope that your wife appreciates being …
1 comments

Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

September 1st, 2015

NOTE: THIS ARTICLE WAS ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN JEWISH ECHO MAGAZINE'S COLUMN ASK-THE-THERAPIST   Question: Every year around Rosh Hashonah time, I make resolutions to try and improve and become a better person. The resolutions usually last a few weeks or months, and then I find myself slipping. Eventually they are forgotten about. What can I do to make my resolutions last?  Answer: Ahhhh. The good ol' New Year's Resolutions. We start of …
0 comments

Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

September 7th, 2015

NOTE: THIS WAS ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN JEWISH ECHO'S COLUMN ASK-THE-THERAPIST   QUESTION: I am the parent of a young married couple who is learning in kollel. We send generous support to the couple every month .Recently, my son told me that he needs more money in order to make ends meet. My wife and I both know that it's because his wife overspends on unnecessary luxuries. On one hand I don't want my son to go into debt, yet on the other h …
0 comments

Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

September 16th, 2015

Rosh Hashanah. Yom Kippur. Succos. For some, these words conjure up memories of delicious hot challah dipped in honey, solemn time in shul followed by the sweetness of cake and coffee at the breaking of the fast, the warmth and camaraderie of siblings and cousins squashed in a Succah lovingly designed by a parent and created with the children, and the noisy, fun, crazy beauty of yom tov together with family. For others, these same words create s …
1 comments