Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

March 28th, 2022

Insider trading is the trading of a company’s stocks or other securities by individuals with access to confidential or non-public information about the company.  Taking advantage of this privileged access is considered a breach of the individual’s fiduciary duty.  (https://www.law.cornell.edu/wex/insider_trading) Many parents seek help in meeting their parental duties. That help begins with acquiring insider information.&nbs …
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

March 28th, 2022

A riddle: How does a child know when his parent is multitasking him? When his parent says: Go ahead, I’m listening. If you will allow me to get personal, I will tell you that I do not like being the victim of multitasking.  I am not a task.  I am a person. I sometimes want the undivided attention of another person.  If I rarely get undivided attention from that person I begin to wonder how important I am to them.  As an …
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Author: Status Meds

March 25th, 2022

What is MODAVIGIL MODAVIGIL is utilized to further develop alertness in individuals with extreme daytime tiredness related with the ailment known as narcolepsy or with Obstructive Sleep Apnoea/Hypopnoea Syndrome (OSAHS), or shift work rest jumble (SWSD). Your body requires sufficient rest. Indeed, even in the wake of a monotonous day, Normally, grown-ups require 7 hours of rest every evening. What happens when you are frequently worn out or rest …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW, QCSW, DCSW

March 15th, 2022

Dear Therapist: I have been married for a long while with no children. There is a possibility that we will never be able to have children. Recently I have been extremely depressed about it, although still functioning through daily life. I do not feel therapy can help such an awful emotional situation but my wife disagrees. Who does the panel side with?   Response: I’m sorry that you are going through this difficult situation. Unfortuna …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW, QCSW, DCSW

March 15th, 2022

Dear Therapist: My husband and I are married for ten years, we have 6 beautiful children. BH our expenses for tuition, healthcare and rent are significant. We should be able to make it to the end of the month without an issue since we are both working. However, that rarely happens. My husband grew up in a home where both his parents worked full time but never budgeted or thought about the future. Now, in their mid-70’s the financial situati …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW, QCSW, DCSW

March 15th, 2022

Dear Therapist: Thank you so much for the column, I really enjoy it each week. I would like to know what the panelists think of the following:
Of course, there are real mental illnesses that exist and those that suffer from them should obviously get the help and support that they need. But I feel like many of the people "suffering from mental illness" are suffering from man-made problems based on the expectations of our society. For instanc …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW, QCSW, DCSW

March 15th, 2022

Dear Therapist: I have always been jealous of those who are able to keep calm when everything around them is in crisis. There are some people who it seems no matter what is going on around them are able to keep cool, stay rational, and make sound decisions. I always tend to panic and do exactly the wrong thing. Is this just a personality type that you are born with or is this something you can develop? If it is something you can really become goo …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW, QCSW, DCSW

March 15th, 2022

Dear Therapist: When I was a teenager, I developed a severe phobia. I don’t think it is relevant to be more specific as to what it was. What matters is that my father learned a lot about it, got a lot of books and workbooks, and took it upon himself to help me work through it. The best method he said is a CBT approach called “exposure therapy.” This led to him pushing me very hard to be in the exact situations that were making m …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW, QCSW, DCSW

March 15th, 2022

Dear Therapist: I am a teacher in a high school and am writing regarding a girl in one of my 11th grade classes. Some of the other staff think she should be sent for therapy because "she doesn't seem happy." She is a girl who is shy and introverted. I know her mother and she is also quite shy.  She has friends but is quiet in big groups. She does well in groups of 2 or 3. She isn't very happy in school because learning is a st …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW, QCSW, DCSW

March 15th, 2022

Dear Therapist: Thank you so much for your weekly column. I was wondering if you could explain the difference, as you see it, between self-confidence and gayva. Self-confidence is considered, certainly by psychologists, as a good thing while gayva is considered the worst of all middos. I understand that they are different but would be interested in hearing how you define the difference and at what point does something cross from self-confide …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW, QCSW, DCSW

March 15th, 2022

Dear Therapist: I had a terrible experience with my first job. I had been looking forward to this career and had high expectations but things really did not work out well. I had a very hard time with my boss who had a strong personality and we clashed. I only lasted 3 months before we realized it was time to move on. I had wanted to leave sooner but he actually convinced me to stay. I think he felt he could get me to buy into his way of thinking …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW, QCSW, DCSW

March 15th, 2022

Dear Therapist: Thank you so much for your informative column. Once again, the importance of being diligent regarding the emotional and physical safety of our children has been hammered home. I was hoping that based on your years of experience as clinicians you could offer some guidance and advice as to what we as parents and members of a community should do to best protect our children?   Response: It is indeed unfortunate—in fact tra …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW, QCSW, DCSW

March 15th, 2022

Dear Therapist: I was recently treated very hurtfully by a relative. This relative had known confidential information about me, and the way he treated me left me feeling betrayed, and I lost the trust in our relationship. This was especially painful as I had invested a lot in this relationship, and really wanted to be close with this family member. I would like to have a good relationship once again with him, but every time I think of him, I …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW, QCSW, DCSW

March 15th, 2022

Dear Therapist: I have a friend that went off the derech and I think I can be a mashpia on him. I've texted him a few times and called him once in a while but he always ignores me. I'm just curious does he think I'm invading his privacy and I should stop calling or he just is embarrassed of his new lifestyle and I should keep calling him in order to mechazek him?   Response: I obviously don’t know what it …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW, QCSW, DCSW

March 15th, 2022

Dear Therapist: Thank you for the wonderful education that you provide for our community.  My husband is currently in therapy for mental health issues that he unfortunately brought into the marriage. I am in therapy as well, dealing with terrible trauma that these issues caused. I believe that my husband's therapist has helped him greatly in some areas, but does not have a clear understanding of some of the other areas and how they impact th …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW, QCSW, DCSW

March 15th, 2022

Dear Therapist: Many years ago, we moved to what was then a quiet neighborhood. We were excited to live in a less developed part of town away from the hustle and bustle. Since then, a lot of other people have taken advantage of the large properties and built fancy houses here. While our neighbors are all wonderful people, the standard of living is very high, much different than when we moved in. We are starting to feel the pressure and as our kid …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW, QCSW, DCSW

March 15th, 2022

Dear Therapist: I got married a few months ago and everything is amazing, I just have one problem. My wife's older sister who got married a few years before us is married to an extremely uptight and controlling person. My wife was specifically looking for someone laid back, relaxed, easygoing, and nonopinionated after witnessing what her sister is putting up with. I definitely fit the description. However, any time I do voice my op …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW, QCSW, DCSW

March 15th, 2022

Dear Therapist: Our 21-year-old son has been struggling for a while and would like to begin therapy. He is pretty insistent that he wants to only see a non-frum or not Jewish therapist. It is hard to get a straight answer from him as to why he is so insistent on this. It's a shame that he is so adamant about this at a time when there are so many qualified therapists that are bnei torah. Being that he is 21 he can pretty much go to whoever he want …
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Author: charlie parkar

March 15th, 2022

Kamagra 100mg oral jelly is considered one of the best and safest medicines to treat erectile dysfunction in men. Erectile dysfunction is a disorder mostly seen in men that restricts the ability to attain the needed hardness to achieve an erection. fildena 100 is the ultimate answer for those who are experiencing sexual health difficulties such as sexual impotency. Erectile dysfunction is the most frequent condition among males worldwide. If …
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

February 21st, 2022

Yehudah ben Tabay omer…uch’sheyiyu ba'alei dinin omdim l’fanecha yiyu b'einecha k’rsha'im.  And when there are litigants standing before you see them as wicked.  (Avos 1:8) Rav Baruch HaLevi Epstein Z”L, author of the Torah Temimah, wondered why you would think of two people who came to a Bais Din to adjudicate their dispute as rishayim. It is very difficult to call people who come to trial wicked; what wi …
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

February 21st, 2022

Rabbi Akiva omeir…V’hakol l’fi roev hama'aseh. Rabbi Akiva says…Hakol is according to the roev of the action.  (Avos 3:15) The two words I left untranslated are ambiguous. Hakol.  Hakol means the entirety, all of it.  All of what? Roev.  Roev can mean the majority or the frequency or the magnitude.  Which one does it denote in the context of this Mishna?   According to the Rambam, roev refer …
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

February 21st, 2022

O chavrusa o misusa, either a friend or death.  (Taanis 23a) Hyperbole?  No. One of the forms of punishment described in halacha is niddui, social isolation.  Chazal understood the severity of this sentence, the emotional pain inflicted, as recent science has described. Research has linked social isolation and loneliness to higher risks for a variety of physical and mental conditions: high blood pressure, heart disease, obesity, a …
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

January 30th, 2022

Shomer pesayim Hashem, Hashem protects the simple.  (Tehilim 116:6) Keivan d’dashu bei rabbim, shomer pesayim Hashem. Since this is common practice, Hashem protects the simple. (Shabbos 129b) That principle reflects the truism that all human activity is accompanied by a measure of danger but that Halacha takes no cognizance of danger below a certain threshold level.  (Contemporary Halakhic Problems Volume IV, J. David Bleich, Ktav …
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

January 30th, 2022

Your child does know better.  So why did she do that? Reish Lakish amar: Ein adam oveir aveirah ella im kein nichnas bo ruach shtus. Reish Lakish said: A man commits a sin only if a spirit of folly enters him. (Sotah 3a) Our sages tell us that a person does not sin unless he has temporarily taken leave of his senses. They quote Bamidar 12:11 in support of this.  Aharon says to Moshe, asher no'alnu v'asher chatanu, because of our foolish …
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

January 30th, 2022

Ani Yosef, ha'od avi chai? V’lo yochlu echav l’anos oso ki nivhalu mipanav. I am Joseph. Is my father still alive? But his brothers could not answer him, so disturbed, dismayed, terrified, anxious were they before him.  (Braishis 45:3) The Midrash says, Yosef was the youngest of the brothers, yet they could not stand his rebuke, as it says, and his brothers could not answer him because they were so shaken in his presence. What r …
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

January 30th, 2022

What do you daven for?  Please respond anonymously via this link. I asked my family members to share this question with friends and I sent the request to the readers who receive my articles via email each week. Here are the replies I received: Children, my husband should get satisfaction from his learning, parnassah, health, baby should behave at the babysitter, job satisfaction, friends. To have a healthy baby. To be happy in the stage of l …
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

January 30th, 2022

Tovim ha’shnayim min ha'echad asher yesh lahem sachar tov ba'amalam. Two are better than one since they have a good reward for their labor. (Koheles 4:9) Tovim ha’shnayim: this refers to Moshe and Aharon. Min ha'echad: better than one alone and the other alone.  For we find that when Moshe gave a bracha to Yisrael the Shechina did not rest [on Yisrael] because of him but when they both together gave a bracha to Yisrael the Shechi …
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

December 26th, 2021

Our tefilos are worded in the plural.  Give us wisdom, return us in teshuva, forgive us, and ten more requests in the Shemona Esrei, always asking on behalf of all of us. Mar b’rai d’Ravina had an additional request. Mar b’rai d’Ravina ki havei mesayeim tselosei amar hachi: Elokai, n’tsor leshoni meirah u’sifosei midaber mirmah. V’limkalelei nafshi sidom v’nafshi k’afar lakol tihyeh. When …
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

December 26th, 2021

I’ve read that when you are angry at your child you should take a deep breath and count to ten before you say anything.  Every time I’m about to tell my child what she did wrong, I stop, take a deep breath, and count to ten.  After I’ve done all that, I say the exact same thing in the same angry voice that I was going to say to begin with.  What’s the point of breathing and counting when I end up the same, R …
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Author: David Kane

December 23rd, 2021

Do you feel Depression-like sadness or feeling low for a few moments or hours or maybe even right occasionally for the rest of your entire life? If yes, then it's a normal feeling. But, if it remains for several days, months, or years, and that too with no suitable reasons, it's miles the right time to take mindfulness-primarily based cognitive therapy for depression. How does depression affect your lifestyle? Depression is a common men …
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

December 13th, 2021

The Rabbis said to Rabbi Yehoshua ben Levi: Young students came today to the bais medrash and said things the likes of which were not said even in the days of Yehoshua bin Nun!  (Shabbos 104a) Why mention that the children came today? It appears to me, b’Siyata d’Shmaya, that the Rabbis said today to emphasize that if children in earlier generations had said such insights we would not have been so surprised and impressed.  B …
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

December 13th, 2021

Ikar v’Tafel is a principle of primary and secondary importance.  The level of importance has halachic ramifications in hilchos Shabbos and in liturgy. Hamotzei oechlin pachos mi’kshir b’kli, patur af al ha’kli she’ha’kli tafela lo. One who carries out food [in a vessel on Shabbos] less than the amount of food one is  prohibited to carry, is exempt, even for carrying out the vessel [which would otherw …
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

December 13th, 2021

Tanu rabbanan: shtei shanim u’mechtza nechleku Bais Shammai u’Bais Hillel. Halalu omrim noach lo le'adam shelo nivra yoseir mi’sh’nivra v’halalu omrim noach lo le'adam sh’nivra yoseir mi’shelo nivra. Nimnu v’gamru noach lo le'adam shelo nivra yoseir mi’sh’nivra .  Achshav sh’nivra, y’fashfeish b’ma'asav, v’amri lah,  y’mashmeish b’ma'asav. &n …
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

December 13th, 2021

Tafasta merubah, lo tafasta; tafasta mu'at, tafasta. If you [try to] take many, you will not take [anything]; If you [try to] take a small amount, you will take [it]. (Chagigah 17a) Feelings of anxiety often result from believing that you need to do more than you can possibly do.  Unfortunately, anxiety often is expressed in the form of anger at the people and tasks you have taken onto your plate to do. Feelings are messengers, they tell you …
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

December 13th, 2021

Hevei misunim ba’din, be deliberate in judgment.  (Avos 1:1) How much did it once cost when someone was not deliberate in judgment? Rav Adda bar Ahava saw a non-Jewish woman who was wearing a karbalta, a racy garment inappropriate for Jewish women [Maharsha], in the marketplace. He thought that she was Jewish so he tore it from her. It was then determined that she was a Gentile.  [She sued him and was awarded] four hundred zuz.&nb …
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

December 13th, 2021

When Rabbi Tarfon taught: Lo alecha ha-malacha ligmor (Avos 2:16), he might not have had homework in mind.  If the alecha is you, the parent, it certainly applies. Now that the midsummer nights they dream about all year are over, our children are back in school.  One local Yeshiva’s science teacher welcomed his students back with this missive to their parents: I hope this email finds you well. It was really nice seeing the boys ba …
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Author: Shlomit Liz Sanders, LMFT, CCTP

November 24th, 2021

Five things therapists wish clients knew about therapy It can sometimes be difficult recognizing that we need help and sometimes even more challenging to look for it. Here’s a breakdown of what therapists wish clients knew about therapy: There’s nothing too weird/ taboo to talk about. Yes, you’re meeting a stranger for the first time but professionals are trained to handle things that you may not feel comfortable sharing with f …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW, QCSW, DCSW

November 18th, 2021

Dear Therapist: As a teenage boy I am going through lots of ups and downs. Throughout this period there is one particular issue that is getting worse and worse. That is my parents. As it stands now, I cannot "open up" to them about anything personal in my life. Whether it is about friends, family, teachers, or anything that is personal, I find it practically impossible to speak to my parents (though I do find it easier to speak about personal iss …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW, QCSW, DCSW

November 18th, 2021

Dear Therapist: My wife was diagnosed with a serious illness a few years ago. While she was sick of course the entire focus of myself, our friends, and our extended families was to give her room and support and help her in every way possible. All we wanted was for her to able to be completely taken care of so that the only thing she needed to be busy with was getting better.  Meals, housekeeping, mother's helpers, and so much more were provi …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW, QCSW, DCSW

November 18th, 2021

Dear Therapist: I am a 22-year-old former yeshiva bochur. I have always struggled in yeshiva and never did well. I recently made the decision together with my parents and rov to find a job.  I was able to find a job that keeps me busy, will teach me an important industry, and has a lot of growth potential. I also have a chavrusa daily. Surprisingly,  I have found the adjustment to this new stage in life to be ve …
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