Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

February 15th, 2021

What do you do when counting to three no longer works its magic?  What is your next step when you talk and your child listens and you listen to your child’s talk and bedtime is still a struggle? Make a chart! The use of charts is not limited to the issue of bedtime.  Charts may be effective in addressing many issues parents have with their children. Charts are effective when they are used appropriately and properly.  They fai …
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Author: Chaya Feuerman, LCSW-R Trauma IFS EMDR Therapist

February 1st, 2021

To read about and schedule an All Day Intensive with Chaya Feuerman, go to https://empowermentaftertrauma.com/what-is-an-all-day-intensive/  …
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Author: Chaya Feuerman, LCSW-R Trauma IFS EMDR Therapist

February 1st, 2021

There are some things that are just too hard to say out loud. How can I get help if I can't bring myself to talk about what is troubling me? That's a good question and may stump many but for me and my practice there's a simple answer. In EMDR therapy, the therapist does not need to know the details of what happened to you. EMDR is a process that can happen between the therapist and the client without the need to tell all. EMDR stands for Eye Move …
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

January 31st, 2021

When my kids were young, I made up a joke. What’s the difference between Mother’s Day and Father’s Day? On Mother’s Day, Dad takes everyone out for dinner; on Father’s Day, Dad takes everyone out for dinner! Yes, they’re the same.  It’s a joke. In 1978, the first Sunday after Labor Day officially became Grandparent’s Day in the United States. So we have Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, a …
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

January 23rd, 2021

There are two occasions in the Torah in which a grandparent addresses a grandchild, both times with everlasting impact. Noach informs his grandson Canaan that he and his progeny will serve the descendants of his uncles Shem and Yafes. Yaakov Aveinu gives a bracha to his grandsons Ephraim and Menashe that becomes the legacy of their descendants. What impact do grandparents have on grandchildren today? According to a group of eight year olds who we …
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Author: Dr. Avraham (Allan) Friedman, Psy. D., LMSW

January 15th, 2021

The Right Way – Parshat Vaeira   We find ourselves in a moral dilemma at times when we have two moral values that conflict. Is there always a correct course to choose? When there is enough money left at the end of the month for either a special treatment for an elderly parent or a tutor for a child with ADD, how do you choose? Can I allow for the perception of "how others view me" to become a consideration? I was actually surprised in …
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

January 14th, 2021

I am apprehensive about writing this article, addressing this topic.  My apprehension is based on the following sources. Avtalyon omeir: Chachamim, hizoharu b’divreichem, shemo tochuvu chovas galus, v’siglu limkom mayim harayim, v’yishtu hatalmidim haba'im achareichem v’yamusu, v’nimtza Sheim Shomayim mischaleil. Avtalyon would say: Chachamim, be careful with your words; lest you be guilty of exile, to a place o …
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

January 11th, 2021

Zeh to-aim l’fi maasav vzeh to-aim l’fi maasav. Both eat from one bowl, but this one tastes according to his experiences and that one tastes according to his experiences.  (Avos d’Rabi Nasan, 37:9) You and your child share an external experience.  Did you just have the same experience internally?  Often, you did not. Sensory experience can be shared.  It comes from your environment and is received by your fiv …
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Author: Dr. Avraham (Allan) Friedman, Psy. D., LMSW

January 8th, 2021

Be a Mensch! – Parshat Shemot Without being sexist, this phrase simply implores the individual to be an upright, responsible individual with civility and humility – no matter male or female  - who doesn’t stand idly by while others suffer. Although I did consider using "Be a Man", I decided that the title itself might keep people away. In addition, the word Mensch implies infinitely more than the word "man". (I add a tip of …
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

December 31st, 2020

Middos tovos are a prerequisite for Torah. One must first improve his middos and then the Torah can dwell upon him... One cannot learn Torah first and then acquire good middos because this is impossible. (Rabeinu Yonah on Avos 3:17)   Yes, Rabbi Ackerman, I understand that.  You have mentioned that the best way to teach children is by example.  The problem is that my children are not with me all day to see how I conduct myself in v …
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

December 31st, 2020

S'iz nisht keyn chidush vas ihr geyt nisht hecher. Veyl s'iz nisht chashuv ba eykh keyn uvda. It's no surprise that you haven't grown.  Your accomplishments haven't been acknowledged.  (Birchas Asher, Stolin, as explained to me by a Stoliner Rav) Children thrive on success.  It is the responsibility of parents and educators to look for and point out those successes.  Without that acknowledgement, children do not grow. Mom: I r …
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

December 21st, 2020

HaGaon Rabeinu Aharon Yehuda Leib Shteinman ZTZ”L was learning this gemara: Amar Rav Yehuda bar Sheila, amar Rabi Asi, amar Rabi Yochanan: There are six things a person enjoys the fruits of in this world, and the principal remains for him in Olam Haba. They are: hospitality toward guests; visiting the sick; concentrating during prayer; arriving in shul early; one who raises his sons to study Torah; and one who judges another favorably, l&rs …
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Author: Dr. Avraham (Allan) Friedman, Psy. D., LMSW

December 18th, 2020

Don’t Be Yourself – Parshat Miketz Isn’t that backwards? Don’t you mean "be yourself"? Well, kinda. You're right, too. We are always talking about being your authentic YOU. As Kierkegaard said: “Don’t despair at wanting to become your authentic self.”1 So make up my mind…be yourself…don’t be yourself. What to do? And what do you mean anyway "don’t be yourself"? When Yosef was ca …
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

December 13th, 2020

Vaiyomer Hashem Elokim, lo tov heyos ha'adom levado. And Hashem Elokim said, It is not good for man to be alone.  (Braishis 2:18)   Oh chavrusa oh masusa.  Either a friend or death (Taanis 23a), because it is not good for man to be alone.  (Nachalas Avos on Avos 1:6)   How not good is it?  According to an article in Perspectives on Psychological Science, very not good. Loneliness is as bad for your health as smoking …
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Author: Dr. Avraham (Allan) Friedman, Psy. D., LMSW

December 11th, 2020

Here I Am! – Parshat Vayeshev Let's do this! What a bold statement! People who are aware of the import of what is about to happen, can feel pumped by the anticipation of what they are doing. They can also be filled with fear and trepidation. How do we then find clarity?  This is highlighted by a difficulty in Rashi pointed out by the great teacher, Prof. Nechama Leibowitz, z"l. Yosef was just asked to visit his brothers and see how the …
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Author: Dr. Avraham (Allan) Friedman, Psy. D., LMSW

December 4th, 2020

The Struggle's the Thing – Parshat Vayishlach Nobody likes struggling. Well, maybe not "nobody" but many of us anyway. It's nice to just view a sunset, have your morning coffee or spend time with friends. Struggle is unpleasant, frustrating and simply not my favorite word. In this week's parsha, Yaakov finds himself struggling against a mysterious stranger.1 There are numerous questions regarding this story, ranging from why Yaakov was alon …
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Author: Yannah Popovitz M.A.

November 30th, 2020

  I was telling a friend recently about some mucky feelings I was having around a challenging situation. I told her that I thought if I just focus on what is good, then it will inspire me to get out of this rut. But my plan wasn't working. My friend simply said, "Just be where you are. And be with what is, without trying to fix, judge or solve it." I hung up the phone and felt like a large weight had been lifted. I was given permission to ju …
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

November 29th, 2020

Shiva d’vorim b’golem v’shiva b’chocham. chocham eino m’dabeir bifnei mi she-hu godol mi-menu b’chochmoh 1uv’minyon, v'eino nichnos l’soch divrei chaveiro, v’eino nivhol l’hoshiv, sho'eil k'inyon u’meishiv k’halacha, v'omeir al rishon rishon v'al acharon acharon, v'al mah sh’lo shoma, omeir lo shomati, u’modeh al ha'emes. V’chilufeihen b’golem. Seven t …
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Author: Lili Bernstein (Goralnick), LCSW-R

November 24th, 2020

One of the first concepts I teach clients who begin therapy with me is the “Iceberg Method.” I draw the top of an iceberg sticking out from the water, and I say, “So you’re driving over a bridge in the winter, and the river is full of icebergs (I hold up the picture) right?”  The client invariably responds, “right.”  “Wrong!” I declare. I then proceed to complete my picture, drawing …
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

November 22nd, 2020

B’tzedek tishpot amisecho, judge others with tzedek. (Vayikra 19:15)  How do you judge someone with tzedek? Rabbeinu Yonah explains this as follows: Behold, when you hear someone who says a certain thing or performs a particular action wherein you can judge his words or actions in either a negative or positive manner, if the one who has performed this act is known to be a yirei Elokim, a righteous person, then you are obligated to judg …
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Author: Esther Goldstein LCSW, Trauma Specialist

November 21st, 2020

Pumpkin Spice and Parts Work My friend *Shani shows up at my door with a bowl of piping hot chicken soup. I have not been feeling well lately and she knows that a fragrant and nutrient rich bowl of her famous liquid gold will help me feel better. It’s incredible when a friend gets you that intimately. She knows just what I need. I realize immediately that something is not ok with her. Perhaps in the back of her mind she needs something from …
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

November 15th, 2020

Sorrow and remorse are two different things. Sorrow is me feeling bad that you’re unhappy with me. Remorse is me feeling bad that I hurt you. When my feeling is sorrow, my intention and my behavior are to alleviate my discomfort. When my feeling is remorse, my intention and my behavior are to alleviate your discomfort. Even though he gives him, he is not forgiven until he requests [forgiveness] from him, as the pasuk says, “Now return …
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

November 9th, 2020

Shne'emar “tov erech apayim mi’gibor.” Hochi havei peirusho dikro: Tov erech apayim haba mitzad hagevurah shel kibush hayeitzer, lo mitzad rachus hateva. (Rav on Avos 4:1) If I may paraphrase: There is more value in harnessing emotion than in being emotionless. What is the value of emotion?  Aren’t we all about Chochmah, Binah, and Daas, types of cognition?  No, not only.  We learn about ourselves and the pe …
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

October 29th, 2020

Hocheiach tochiach es amisecho (Vayikra 19:17) It would have been more logical to say hocheiach tochiach l’amisecho, give reproof to your fellow [because hocheiach tochiach es amisecho implies “with your fellow” rather than “to your fellow”].  However, our Torah haKedosha is a treasury of mussar, interpersonal life skills. It has embedded a life lesson in these words.  The plain meaning is to give reproof.& …
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Author: Alivia

October 27th, 2020

 
Etizolam is a popular oral medicine to treat sleep disorders (insomnia) and anxiety disorders. The patient suffering from short term anxiety, depression, or panic attacks can consult the doctor & ask if Etizolam will work for them too.   This medicine is available as tablets ranging from light to heavy dosage i.e. 0.5mg, 1 mg, 2mg & 5mg.   In which countries is Etizolam popularly used?   Etizolam is unapp …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW, QCSW, DCSW

October 23rd, 2020

Dear Therapist: I have a question which I hope you can help me with:   I'm looking for a new therapist, one that is in-network and takes my insurance. I'm doing a ton of research, calling up therapists, clinics etc...but I keep bumping into the money issue. I just hung up with yet another therapist that didn't work out, and I'm honestly feeling helpless, hopeless and demoralized. Is this how the system is g …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW, QCSW, DCSW

October 23rd, 2020

Dear Therapist: My husband has been taking COVID very seriously. Although he is young and has no health conditions, he basically isolated completely for the first few months of the pandemic. He spends a lot of time online "researching" the illness and spends a lot of time discussing and analyzing it. At the end of the summer, when we had gone so long without seeing any serious illness, he started relaxing a little and going out (with a mask). He …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW, QCSW, DCSW

October 23rd, 2020

Dear Therapist: I am writing to ask for some clarification as to the extent that stress or other psychological issues can cause physical problems. Basically, I have not been feeling well for a while, mostly with very bad headaches. I have been to a doctor and a specialist who both are saying that there is nothing they can see that is wrong and it must be that I am stressed out. They suggested I go to counseling which I am looking into. I guess my …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW, QCSW, DCSW

October 23rd, 2020

Dear Therapist: As a 3rd grade rebbe sometimes I have children in my class who have lost a parent r’l. I wonder if in such cases I should avoid using the word totty or mommy during class to avoid hurting the child. Is this something that is helpful or perhaps avoiding it is just something that is not realistic and unfortunately it is something they will live with all their lives?    Response: Your sen …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW, QCSW, DCSW

October 23rd, 2020

Dear Therapist: I find the letters and responses to the Couch very informative. Would it be possible for the panelists to share advice on how to detect narcissistic behaviors? I had an awful experience with a narcissistic individual and tried so hard to make it work. However, if I would have been aware of the classic signs of narcissists, I would have realized early on that it would not work. Narcissists are very charismatic people that are  …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW, QCSW, DCSW

October 23rd, 2020

Dear Therapist: My son has struggled with a kind of constant but not so severe depression for a while. He has a lot of trouble moving forward, being productive, and is often just down. He is at the age where he should be starting shidduchim and many of his friends are dating. He has been working with a therapist and had been getting better but recently is not doing as well. His therapist has suggested that he see a psychiatrist to possi …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW, QCSW, DCSW

October 23rd, 2020

Dear Therapist: I am considering hiring a therapist for work purposes. I bh don't feel the need for therapy in my personal life but someone suggested seeing a therapist to help me/coach me in my management position. Basically, even if I am doing well can this help me perform even better? Perhaps it would be a good idea for our bottom line if we hired someone for the company to motivate employees and help manage workplace issues. What ca …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW, QCSW, DCSW

October 23rd, 2020

Dear Therapist: As the school year hopefully begins, I am somewhat concerned about my elementary school children who have not been on a regular structure/schedule since Purim. I wonder if there is any advice you can give us on how to manage the transition back to normalcy? Or maybe it's nothing and the kids will bounce right back into it? Also, are there any signs we should look out for that would indicate an issue?   Response: I&r …
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Author: Dr. Avraham (Allan) Friedman, Psy. D., LMSW

September 25th, 2020

Is Life Really Empty? – Parshat Haazinu We've gone through the past seven months of COVID-19 at times asking ourselves the question of meaning. Some people have lost their livelihood, some have suffered from lingering aftereffects while others have lost family and friends. Is there meaning behind all this? Is it perhaps all meaningless suffering? Throughout the LogoParsha blog, we talk about logotherapy (literally: healing through meaning) …
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Author: Dr. Avraham (Allan) Friedman, Psy. D., LMSW

September 22nd, 2020

A Truly Happy Year – Rosh Hashanah  What a year it has been. Sadness, anger, rioting, mourning, politics, division, wildfires and more. Oh, yes….and Corona. To be fair, there have also been weddings, births, promotions and other good things that have happened this year. Rosh Hashanah is considered the yearly Day of Judgment and we pray that the judgment for the coming year will be favorable based on the good things that we and o …
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

September 17th, 2020

In 1830, Alexis de Tocqueville commented that, In America I have seen the freest and best educated of men in circumstances the happiest to be found in the world; yet it seemed to me that a cloud habitually hung on their brow, and they seemed serious and almost sad even in their pleasures. (Democracy in America, Harper & Row, 1969, page 536)   Sound familiar?  What makes life so difficult?  Why do so many walk around in our worl …
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

September 13th, 2020

You probably recognize the words, “the jury will disregard.”  It is the instruction judges give jurors to ignore inadmissible testimony after it has already been offered in open court. Of course the jury, composed of human beings, cannot forget what it has already heard — even if they try. The integrity of the proceedings have [sic] already been damaged. (Stephen Stromberg, The Washington Post, November 6, 2016)   It m …
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Author: Dr. Avraham (Allan) Friedman, Psy. D., LMSW

September 11th, 2020

Responsible or "Response-able" – Parshat Nitzavim-Vayelech I love word games. "Dad jokes" are funny – okay, maybe not, but at least witty. "How do you call a bee that can’t easily make up its mind? A maybe."1 (is that a groan I hear?) I'm lucky, as well, to be interested in a school of human ontology/psychology/existentialism/motivation whose founder liked word play as well. We can even use it in this week's parsha. There may b …
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

September 6th, 2020

Sweetheart, you’re crying.  Why are you feeling lachrymose?  How often have you said that to your child?  Probably never.   But you may have asked, “why are you sad?”   Wasn’t Moshe Rabeinu sad when he saw the Egel HaZahav?  Why didn’t he cry then the way he cried when the Yidden sinned with the Moabites at Shittim?   When the people made the Golden Calf, Moses argued, Why, O L-rd, …
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Author: Dr. Avraham (Allan) Friedman, Psy. D., LMSW

September 7th, 2020

Happy by Choice – Parshat Ki Tavo We all want to be happy. You know how I know? From all the ads for programs on how to be happy. And many of them are quite successful. Even the American Declaration of Independence, proclaims the right to pursue happiness as an inalienable right of all humanity. I know I want to be happy. In a negative sense, the Torah describes the importance of happiness. This week's parsha, seems to say that "The Rebuke" …
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