Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW, QCSW, DCSW

March 1st, 2021

Dear Therapist: I have never been the most ambitious guy but I have a decent job and make a living. What I find recently is that it is really hard for me to stay motivated. I’ll do ok for a few days and then (usually mid-week) I hit a wall and just can’t seem to push myself to get anything done. Initially I thought it would pass but it’s becoming a pattern that repeats itself. My life is actually pretty full so it’s not li …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW, QCSW, DCSW

March 1st, 2021

Dear Therapist: I would like to know the panel’s opinions regarding video games. I have heard that it is possible to become addicted to video games and I am not sure how this could be possible considering there is nothing the person is taking into their body like nicotine or alcohol. I understand that there are more productive ways that I can be spending my time but it seems that there is a tendency now to turn everything into an addiction. …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW, QCSW, DCSW

March 1st, 2021

Dear Therapist: I’m on medication (citolophram) for minor depression, so minor that I “lived” for 20 years with it always wanting to go for help, but never being desperate. My parents put me on meds with the guidance of a qualified top psychiatrist although I was going into shidduchim. It wasn’t even a discussion; medication was the best option for me along with regular therapy and that’s what we did. I could ha …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW, QCSW, DCSW

March 1st, 2021

Dear Therapist: Is an eating disorder something that primarily is an issue for women/girls? I am concerned about my teenage son’s eating habits. I try and get him to eat more but he doesn't want to. When is there a cause for concern and how can I get him to eat more?   Response: Treatment centers and resources for eating disorders do seem to cater more to women than to men. This may be due to various factors. Traditionally, social cult …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW, QCSW, DCSW

March 1st, 2021

Dear Therapist: I have heard that COVID-19 illness can have effects on mental health. Based on your knowledge and experience is there any truth to this? If yes, how can someone prevent and/or deal with this appropriately?    Response: Your question is a bit unclear. I don’t know whether you are referring to possible physical side effects that can medically adversely affect the brain, or if you are referring to the psychological ef …
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Author: Shopia Thomas, MS

March 1st, 2021

It's quite a nice thing to say that age is just a number and we are only as old as we feel, but extremely hard to live it. But it's not impossible; with some simple yet consistent efforts on your part any woman can preserve her youthful freshness and even reserve all the visible signs of aging from her body.    Let's rush through and reveal the secrets to reverse the visible signs of aging for all you beautiful women out there!   …
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Author: Emma Smith

March 1st, 2021

Physical intimacy is part of any relationship, more so in a romantic relationship which can be a committed relationship or even a marriage.   Most people out there seek physical intimacy with their partner as it promotes a sense of togetherness and safety.   People often confuse sexual activities to be physical intimacy, but sexual activities are just a part of physical intimacy and not the whole thing.   People who share a strong …
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Author: Emma Smith

March 1st, 2021

Despite increasing awareness about mental health conditions and a breakthrough in recognizing the symptoms early on, there are many misassumptions prevalent among people regarding depression. People are more likely to acknowledge and show empathy for someone suffering from anxiety or panic attacks. But depression is simply seen as an excuse or a victim's mindset or negative mental attitude. Also, people have started making jokes about depression …
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

February 27th, 2021

As a parent, you chose your child’s Yeshiva carefully.  You met with the hanhala and with his rebbeim.  I would like to introduce the men and women of the office, food service, and custodial staff at the Yeshiva and tell you a little bit about them.  Their names are quite familiar to your son. Ella E. Itmar offers more accurate information. Chava Ameena sounds good but her ideas never pan out. Tanner Kama is quick, always fir …
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

February 27th, 2021

The following true story took place in a recent year, BCE, Before Covid Era.  It is reprinted with the kind permission of Rabbi Yitzie Ross, a writer and fourth grade rebbe. A boy who is in 2nd grade won a donut from his Rebbe on Sunday [two weeks before Pesach].  He had answered a very difficult question in class and was on cloud nine. When his mother came for pickup, he ran over with his donut and a huge smile.  Before he could e …
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Author: unitedmedicines

February 25th, 2021

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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

February 21st, 2021

Chanoch l’naar al pi darko.  (Mishlei 22:6) Mishlei teaches us that each person has his or her own derech and requires chinuch to grow into the next developmental stage based on their derech at each time of their lives.   We are most likely to help a child or adult grow when we know that individual’s temperament, cognitive level, and emotional state, and we adjust our chinuch accordingly, not based solely on how old the …
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

February 20th, 2021

Tovim hashnayim min ha'echod asher yeish lahem sochor tov ba'amolom.  Ki im yipolu, ho'echod yokim es-chaveiro, v'ilo, ho'echod she’yipol, v'ein sheini lahakimo. Gam im yishkvu shnayim v’cham lohem, ul'echod eich yeichom. Two are better than one, since they have good reward for their efforts. For if they fall, one will lift up his friend, but woe to one who falls and has no one to stand him up. Moreover, if two lie down, they wil …
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

February 15th, 2021

What do you do when counting to three no longer works its magic?  What is your next step when you talk and your child listens and you listen to your child’s talk and bedtime is still a struggle? Make a chart! The use of charts is not limited to the issue of bedtime.  Charts may be effective in addressing many issues parents have with their children. Charts are effective when they are used appropriately and properly.  They fai …
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Author: Chaya Feuerman, LCSW-R Trauma IFS EMDR Therapist

February 1st, 2021

To read about and schedule an All Day Intensive with Chaya Feuerman, go to https://empowermentaftertrauma.com/what-is-an-all-day-intensive/  …
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Author: Chaya Feuerman, LCSW-R Trauma IFS EMDR Therapist

February 1st, 2021

There are some things that are just too hard to say out loud. How can I get help if I can't bring myself to talk about what is troubling me? That's a good question and may stump many but for me and my practice there's a simple answer. In EMDR therapy, the therapist does not need to know the details of what happened to you. EMDR is a process that can happen between the therapist and the client without the need to tell all. EMDR stands for Eye Move …
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

January 31st, 2021

When my kids were young, I made up a joke. What’s the difference between Mother’s Day and Father’s Day? On Mother’s Day, Dad takes everyone out for dinner; on Father’s Day, Dad takes everyone out for dinner! Yes, they’re the same.  It’s a joke. In 1978, the first Sunday after Labor Day officially became Grandparent’s Day in the United States. So we have Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, a …
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

January 23rd, 2021

There are two occasions in the Torah in which a grandparent addresses a grandchild, both times with everlasting impact. Noach informs his grandson Canaan that he and his progeny will serve the descendants of his uncles Shem and Yafes. Yaakov Aveinu gives a bracha to his grandsons Ephraim and Menashe that becomes the legacy of their descendants. What impact do grandparents have on grandchildren today? According to a group of eight year olds who we …
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Author: Dr. Avraham (Allan) Friedman, Psy. D., LMSW

January 15th, 2021

The Right Way – Parshat Vaeira   We find ourselves in a moral dilemma at times when we have two moral values that conflict. Is there always a correct course to choose? When there is enough money left at the end of the month for either a special treatment for an elderly parent or a tutor for a child with ADD, how do you choose? Can I allow for the perception of "how others view me" to become a consideration? I was actually surprised in …
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

January 14th, 2021

I am apprehensive about writing this article, addressing this topic.  My apprehension is based on the following sources. Avtalyon omeir: Chachamim, hizoharu b’divreichem, shemo tochuvu chovas galus, v’siglu limkom mayim harayim, v’yishtu hatalmidim haba'im achareichem v’yamusu, v’nimtza Sheim Shomayim mischaleil. Avtalyon would say: Chachamim, be careful with your words; lest you be guilty of exile, to a place o …
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

January 11th, 2021

Zeh to-aim l’fi maasav vzeh to-aim l’fi maasav. Both eat from one bowl, but this one tastes according to his experiences and that one tastes according to his experiences.  (Avos d’Rabi Nasan, 37:9) You and your child share an external experience.  Did you just have the same experience internally?  Often, you did not. Sensory experience can be shared.  It comes from your environment and is received by your fiv …
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Author: Dr. Avraham (Allan) Friedman, Psy. D., LMSW

January 8th, 2021

Be a Mensch! – Parshat Shemot Without being sexist, this phrase simply implores the individual to be an upright, responsible individual with civility and humility – no matter male or female  - who doesn’t stand idly by while others suffer. Although I did consider using "Be a Man", I decided that the title itself might keep people away. In addition, the word Mensch implies infinitely more than the word "man". (I add a tip of …
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

December 31st, 2020

Middos tovos are a prerequisite for Torah. One must first improve his middos and then the Torah can dwell upon him... One cannot learn Torah first and then acquire good middos because this is impossible. (Rabeinu Yonah on Avos 3:17)   Yes, Rabbi Ackerman, I understand that.  You have mentioned that the best way to teach children is by example.  The problem is that my children are not with me all day to see how I conduct myself in v …
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

December 31st, 2020

S'iz nisht keyn chidush vas ihr geyt nisht hecher. Veyl s'iz nisht chashuv ba eykh keyn uvda. It's no surprise that you haven't grown.  Your accomplishments haven't been acknowledged.  (Birchas Asher, Stolin, as explained to me by a Stoliner Rav) Children thrive on success.  It is the responsibility of parents and educators to look for and point out those successes.  Without that acknowledgement, children do not grow. Mom: I r …
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

December 21st, 2020

HaGaon Rabeinu Aharon Yehuda Leib Shteinman ZTZ”L was learning this gemara: Amar Rav Yehuda bar Sheila, amar Rabi Asi, amar Rabi Yochanan: There are six things a person enjoys the fruits of in this world, and the principal remains for him in Olam Haba. They are: hospitality toward guests; visiting the sick; concentrating during prayer; arriving in shul early; one who raises his sons to study Torah; and one who judges another favorably, l&rs …
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Author: Dr. Avraham (Allan) Friedman, Psy. D., LMSW

December 18th, 2020

Don’t Be Yourself – Parshat Miketz Isn’t that backwards? Don’t you mean "be yourself"? Well, kinda. You're right, too. We are always talking about being your authentic YOU. As Kierkegaard said: “Don’t despair at wanting to become your authentic self.”1 So make up my mind…be yourself…don’t be yourself. What to do? And what do you mean anyway "don’t be yourself"? When Yosef was ca …
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

December 13th, 2020

Vaiyomer Hashem Elokim, lo tov heyos ha'adom levado. And Hashem Elokim said, It is not good for man to be alone.  (Braishis 2:18)   Oh chavrusa oh masusa.  Either a friend or death (Taanis 23a), because it is not good for man to be alone.  (Nachalas Avos on Avos 1:6)   How not good is it?  According to an article in Perspectives on Psychological Science, very not good. Loneliness is as bad for your health as smoking …
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Author: Dr. Avraham (Allan) Friedman, Psy. D., LMSW

December 11th, 2020

Here I Am! – Parshat Vayeshev Let's do this! What a bold statement! People who are aware of the import of what is about to happen, can feel pumped by the anticipation of what they are doing. They can also be filled with fear and trepidation. How do we then find clarity?  This is highlighted by a difficulty in Rashi pointed out by the great teacher, Prof. Nechama Leibowitz, z"l. Yosef was just asked to visit his brothers and see how the …
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Author: Dr. Avraham (Allan) Friedman, Psy. D., LMSW

December 4th, 2020

The Struggle's the Thing – Parshat Vayishlach Nobody likes struggling. Well, maybe not "nobody" but many of us anyway. It's nice to just view a sunset, have your morning coffee or spend time with friends. Struggle is unpleasant, frustrating and simply not my favorite word. In this week's parsha, Yaakov finds himself struggling against a mysterious stranger.1 There are numerous questions regarding this story, ranging from why Yaakov was alon …
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Author: Yannah Popovitz M.A.

November 30th, 2020

  I was telling a friend recently about some mucky feelings I was having around a challenging situation. I told her that I thought if I just focus on what is good, then it will inspire me to get out of this rut. But my plan wasn't working. My friend simply said, "Just be where you are. And be with what is, without trying to fix, judge or solve it." I hung up the phone and felt like a large weight had been lifted. I was given permission to ju …
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

November 29th, 2020

Shiva d’vorim b’golem v’shiva b’chocham. chocham eino m’dabeir bifnei mi she-hu godol mi-menu b’chochmoh 1uv’minyon, v'eino nichnos l’soch divrei chaveiro, v’eino nivhol l’hoshiv, sho'eil k'inyon u’meishiv k’halacha, v'omeir al rishon rishon v'al acharon acharon, v'al mah sh’lo shoma, omeir lo shomati, u’modeh al ha'emes. V’chilufeihen b’golem. Seven t …
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Author: Lili Bernstein (Goralnick), LCSW-R

November 24th, 2020

One of the first concepts I teach clients who begin therapy with me is the “Iceberg Method.” I draw the top of an iceberg sticking out from the water, and I say, “So you’re driving over a bridge in the winter, and the river is full of icebergs (I hold up the picture) right?”  The client invariably responds, “right.”  “Wrong!” I declare. I then proceed to complete my picture, drawing …
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

November 22nd, 2020

B’tzedek tishpot amisecho, judge others with tzedek. (Vayikra 19:15)  How do you judge someone with tzedek? Rabbeinu Yonah explains this as follows: Behold, when you hear someone who says a certain thing or performs a particular action wherein you can judge his words or actions in either a negative or positive manner, if the one who has performed this act is known to be a yirei Elokim, a righteous person, then you are obligated to judg …
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Author: Esther Goldstein LCSW, Trauma Specialist

November 21st, 2020

Pumpkin Spice and Parts Work My friend *Shani shows up at my door with a bowl of piping hot chicken soup. I have not been feeling well lately and she knows that a fragrant and nutrient rich bowl of her famous liquid gold will help me feel better. It’s incredible when a friend gets you that intimately. She knows just what I need. I realize immediately that something is not ok with her. Perhaps in the back of her mind she needs something from …
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

November 15th, 2020

Sorrow and remorse are two different things. Sorrow is me feeling bad that you’re unhappy with me. Remorse is me feeling bad that I hurt you. When my feeling is sorrow, my intention and my behavior are to alleviate my discomfort. When my feeling is remorse, my intention and my behavior are to alleviate your discomfort. Even though he gives him, he is not forgiven until he requests [forgiveness] from him, as the pasuk says, “Now return …
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

November 9th, 2020

Shne'emar “tov erech apayim mi’gibor.” Hochi havei peirusho dikro: Tov erech apayim haba mitzad hagevurah shel kibush hayeitzer, lo mitzad rachus hateva. (Rav on Avos 4:1) If I may paraphrase: There is more value in harnessing emotion than in being emotionless. What is the value of emotion?  Aren’t we all about Chochmah, Binah, and Daas, types of cognition?  No, not only.  We learn about ourselves and the pe …
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

October 29th, 2020

Hocheiach tochiach es amisecho (Vayikra 19:17) It would have been more logical to say hocheiach tochiach l’amisecho, give reproof to your fellow [because hocheiach tochiach es amisecho implies “with your fellow” rather than “to your fellow”].  However, our Torah haKedosha is a treasury of mussar, interpersonal life skills. It has embedded a life lesson in these words.  The plain meaning is to give reproof.& …
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Author: Alivia

October 27th, 2020

 
Etizolam is a popular oral medicine to treat sleep disorders (insomnia) and anxiety disorders. The patient suffering from short term anxiety, depression, or panic attacks can consult the doctor & ask if Etizolam will work for them too.   This medicine is available as tablets ranging from light to heavy dosage i.e. 0.5mg, 1 mg, 2mg & 5mg.   In which countries is Etizolam popularly used?   Etizolam is unapp …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW, QCSW, DCSW

October 23rd, 2020

Dear Therapist: I have a question which I hope you can help me with:   I'm looking for a new therapist, one that is in-network and takes my insurance. I'm doing a ton of research, calling up therapists, clinics etc...but I keep bumping into the money issue. I just hung up with yet another therapist that didn't work out, and I'm honestly feeling helpless, hopeless and demoralized. Is this how the system is g …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW, QCSW, DCSW

October 23rd, 2020

Dear Therapist: My husband has been taking COVID very seriously. Although he is young and has no health conditions, he basically isolated completely for the first few months of the pandemic. He spends a lot of time online "researching" the illness and spends a lot of time discussing and analyzing it. At the end of the summer, when we had gone so long without seeing any serious illness, he started relaxing a little and going out (with a mask). He …
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