Author: Rabbi Ariel Greenberg MA

May 18th, 2014

מקורות שאשה המגורשת נשארת קרוב משפחה לבעלה אף לאחר גירושין 1.  בראשית רבה יז: ג, ירושלמי כתובות יא: ג לגבי חיוב הקדמת צדקה לקרובים מפורש שגרושתו קודמת לזרים משום "מבשרך אל תתעלם". ומובא בשו"×¢ אבה"×¢ קיט סעיף ח' ופר"ח שם ס"ק כ"ז וש"ך יו"ד רמז סעיף א' (אבל ×¢' …
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Author: Rabbi Ariel Greenberg MA

May 18th, 2014

מטרות בגרושין לתועלת רלב"ג פרשת כי תצא--התועלת החמישי הוא במצוות. והוא מה שצונו מדיני הגט, אשר תותר בו האשה להנשא לכל מי שתרצה. והתועלת בזה מבואר כדי שלא יוכרח האדם [אל] שיהיה כל ימיו עם אשתו השנואה לו. ויהיה זה סיבה אל שימנע מפריה ורביה,עם שיוליד בנים × …
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Author: Rabbi Ariel Greenberg MA

May 18th, 2014

ויסף אברהם ויקח אשה בענין אב שנתאלמן או נתגרש, שחייב להשיא בנו לאשה וגם להשיא את עצמו מי קודם? בגמ' קידושין כט: מבואר שאם יש לאב אפשרות לקיים רק מצווה אחת- למצוה של עצמו או למצוה של בנו, המצוה של עצמו עדיף.וכן מפורש לענינינו בתוספתא בכורות פרק ו שהאב קו …
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Author: Rabbi Ariel Greenberg MA

May 18th, 2014

Lessons in single parenting from an experienced Gadol   The Brisker Rav, Rav Yitzchak Ze'ev Halevy Soloveitchik (1886-1959), escaped the holocaust with only himself and six of his children. His wife and three other children perished in the holocaust. (Another married daughter had already left) He was never zoche to remarry and raised his remaining daughter and sons alone. Those who’ve heard of him,  know of the hours spent learnin …
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Author: Rabbi Ariel Greenberg MA

May 18th, 2014

בס"ד Non-custodial Single Parenting Aiming to Climb Mt. Everest, Starting at the Dead Sea   It has been said about child raising, that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Since the waves of enlightenment, 150 years ago, we've seen that hurricane winds, can, however,blow apples very far from trees.   Today we are seeing a stranger phenomenon – trees are being uprooted and removed from their apples. There are fathers who ar …
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Author: Rabbi Ariel Greenberg MA

May 18th, 2014

Rabbi Abraham Twersky-from his book –Marriage the First Year Pre-marriage counseling is advisable in a first marriage, but is absolutely essential in a second marriage.   Human beings are not robots. When we relate to another person with any degree of intimacy, that person has an impact on us. Whether a marriage ends by tragedy or divorce, the lost marriage is exactly that: a loss. And a loss must be adequately grieved if one is to put …
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Author: Rabbi Ariel Greenberg MA

May 18th, 2014

  Taking the first step -a second time A look at the process that leads to second marriages   “I’m sorry that I really can’t feel for you. “ That’s what Naftali’s best friend said to him. That’s the best empathy he could give  in his situation. Naftali is in shidduchim for a second marriage.  Through his life experience and a lot of self-work he now has an idea how good marriage can be …
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Author: Rabbi Ariel Greenberg MA

May 18th, 2014

Rav Tzadok HaKohen - Personal Change One of the great lights of Chasidic thought and arguably its most prolific author,  Rav Tzadok HaKohen was born to his father Rav Yaakov the Av Bais Din of Kreisberg in Lithuania.  His grandfather  Rav Zalman Mireles was the Rov of the three prestigious communites of Altuna-Hamburg-Wansbeck in Germany and was the son-in-law of the Chacham Tzvi. He said about himself that when he was one year old …
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Author: Rabbi Ariel Greenberg MA

May 18th, 2014

  Divorce stigma was created by G-d to protect the happiness and unity of families only in olam hazeh The bad marriage was created by G-d to add to the happiness of the sufferer only in olam haba.   Divorced fathers are like an airplane without a runway: you can’t take off and you can’t land. A war torn father turns to refueling and recharging mid –air, and he will continue to float. A wisened father makes limits and s …
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Author: Rabbi Ariel Greenberg MA

May 18th, 2014

בס"ד PLEASE UNDERSTAND ME  AN OPEN LETTER FROM ANY DIVORCEE TO THEIR NEIGHBOR   Dear friend/neighbor,   I wanted to thank you for something. Remember a while back my car broke down and it had to be towed away and junked. It was a major financial loss for me and an even bigger headache. You were there to console me at that time. Thank you.   Sometime later, I was having trouble with one of my teenagers. He was at risk and al …
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Author: Rabbi Ariel Greenberg MA

May 18th, 2014

Introducing a frum single men’s support group Dear men, A single Yeshivish men’s support group is being organized !  The goal of the group is simply to give chizuk to each other in our goal to get married. It’s an opportunity to share ups and downs, experiences, and  to provide the social interaction that's needed as a stepping stone for shiduchim. The opportunity can also be used to "talk down" yourself after a d …
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Author: Rabbi Ariel Greenberg MA

May 18th, 2014

בס"ד   FAMILY – Unity comprised of diversity   There are two words in Hebrew for family, each of which captures the contrary but integral aspects of a family. Each of these words is used in introducing the mitzvah of preparing and eating the korban Pesach in Mitzrayim, the only mitzvah, to my knowledge, that's specifically given to be done with family. Moreover, it’s the first mitzvah that was given to be told over to Bne …
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Author: Rabbi Ariel Greenberg MA

May 18th, 2014

בס"ד   Two parents-One soul When Hashem created children, He created them in a way that requires two parents. The child needs two parents, not just to have a physical body. He needs two parents to have healthy emotional and yiddishkeit development, just as critical. More than every person needs two eyes to see depth, a developing child needs two unique perspectives on his life.   Hashem gave the child a father with logical and intell …
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Author: Rabbi Ariel Greenberg MA

May 18th, 2014

A Torah attitude on the divorce plague Why is this happening to us? Did we do something wrong?                                                           &n …
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Author: Moshe Norman, LCSW

May 15th, 2014

So, We Never Punish, Right? In order for us to move to other phases of parenting, let us first review the principles of emotional regulation that we have learned thus far.  It must be emphasized that many potential issues can be avoided if a child is raised in an emotionally healthy fashion and in addition, it will help make many other aspects of parenting a whole lot easier.  A child with emotional health will also have the resources a …
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Author: Letters From Your Child

May 12th, 2014

Osios machkimos, written words make us smarter.   Helping your child become smarter at expressing himself when he is upset is one of the most valuable investments of your time. And the most effective form of expression is the written word… even for toddlers.   Sound strange? It did to author Heather Shumaker, too. She wrote, “I admit it. At first it does feel mighty odd to reach for a pen and paper when your child is scream …
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Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

May 9th, 2014

            Talk about phobias.             My daughter-in-law was always a little bit uncomfortable flying on airplanes. Made sense, if you think about it. It’s the rest of us who think it’s normal being cooped up in a machine flying higher than the clouds and no safety net if this machine decides it doesn’t want to fly anymore. But anyway …
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Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

May 9th, 2014

Note: This article was originally commissioned for a magazine put out by LINKS, an organization that supports teens who have lost a parent(s).               “I'm fine! There is nothing wrong with me!”             “I don't need therapy. Maybe my mother/father/sister/brother needs therapy.”         …
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Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

May 9th, 2014

Question:  I am a principal in a girls' elementary school. I found your past two columns about therapy very informative and although I have never been a believer in therapy, I'm beginning to rethink my attitudes and wonder if therapy can help different students who are struggling socially or in other ways, as well as some parents who come through my door. So here is my question: How do I know how to find the right therapist for a student or …
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Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

May 9th, 2014

Question:  I'm a little embarrassed to admit it, although everyone who knows me is aware of it, but I’m afraid of flying in an airplane. Until now it hasn't been a problem because I just didn't fly. When we were newly married, I flew to Florida on vacation with my wife a few times but even that petered out over the years as it just wasn't worth it to me. Israel was out of the question so my wife ended up flying herself. But now my son …
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Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

May 9th, 2014

Question: I have always managed to cope with various difficulties in my life (which have been no more, no less than other people I know), but recently I have been overwhelmed by a few things that happened all at once.  I have friends who I talk to, and my mother helps me out when I need her. Everyone keeps telling me I should see a therapist but I'm not quite sure how and why a therapist can help me more than my family and friends. &nbs …
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Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

May 9th, 2014

          You walk in to my office for the first time. It is an interview, for both of us, and we both don’t want to fail. There is much you learn about me although I reveal nothing verbally. My office is simple. Four walls. A chair. A couch. A lamp. My books line the shelves. They tell the story of what interests me, theories and philosophies that inform my orientation and work. My diplomas and certificates ar …
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

May 5th, 2014

If you count and check off every day and bring me your completed sefirah chart you’ll get a piece of cheesecake on Shavuos! That is a chart that works. Dovid and Yael wanted to figure out why the charts they made for their daughter Baila didn’t. Dovid and I decided we wanted Baila to stop being chutzpadik towards us. We made a chart and told Baila that we would put on a star each day that she was not chutzpadik. We told Baila that whe …
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Author: Moshe Norman, LCSW

April 27th, 2014

The Jewish Mom.  Typified.  Personified.  She’s warm, caring and protective.  Unconditionally loving and accepting.  She is always there to save her child through thick and thin, through his good choices and his mistakes.  And never misses an opportunity to protect her child from even the slightest discomfort. How fortunate we are, to be part of a heritage of what our sages deemed us as Rachmanim, Bayshanim and …
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Author: Shevy Moser, LMSW

April 14th, 2014

The Hagaddah speaks of the Four Sons at the Seder table and expounds briefly on what they will ask and what we should tell them. But what about the Fifth Son, the one not mentioned in the Haggadah because he’s not at the Seder Table? He’s in his room or out with friends, refusing to come down or ignoring his place in the family unit. What does the Haggadah say about this Son? The Nesivos Shalom asks a basic question regarding Yetzias …
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Author: Elisheva Liss LMFT

April 14th, 2014

Four children- raised in the same home, by the same parents- with vastly different personalities and needs… it’s so familiar. But we, the generation raised in the post “labeling theory” and “self-fulfilling prophecy” research, we feel uncomfortable tagging our kids with designations such as “wise” or “wicked”… right? And yet… we need to have some idea of who they are and w …
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

April 5th, 2014

Parents spend a lot of time preparing their home for Pesach. I hope you will also spend time preparing your children for Pesach.   How do you pique your child’s interest in a discussion about Pesach? I suggest that you ask your child what it’s like to be bossed around all the time, made to do things you don’t want to do and that are too hard for you. He probably knows what that’s like. Then ask him what it’s lik …
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Author: Steven Walfish, Ph.D.

April 1st, 2014

The word entrepreneur conjures up images of high stakes deals, bold and audacious dealings with high rollers. Of course it can be that way for people like Donald Trump, Richard Branson or Sara Blakely (think Spanx!). But an entrepreneurial mindset is the way that group practices or even solo practitioners can build and sustain an excellent practice. Research has suggested that entrepreneurs are more likely than others to recognize opportunities b …
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

March 28th, 2014

Last week I told you a story. It took place on a Friday night, and was repeated on many Friday nights. Here’s the part where dad got involved:   Shloime started to sing Shalom Aleichem in a silly voice and Danny told him to stop, but he didn’t, so Danny pushed him and he fell back into the table, knocking over the Kiddush cup that had just been filled with wine. Mom went to get napkins while fighting back tears. Dad said, “ …
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

March 20th, 2014

As Pesach approaches, I am reminded of the perhaps apocryphal but nonetheless amusing story of the knighting ceremony for Sir Moses Montefiore. When Queen Victoria touched the sword to his shoulder and dubbed him “Sir Moses,” the expected Latin response escaped his mind. Panic stricken, he blurted out, mah nishtana ha-layla hazeh mikol ha-lailos. The puzzled Queen turned to her aide and asked, “Why is this knight different from …
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Author: Allan J. Katz , M.S., CRC, ASAT

March 19th, 2014

Psychosocial Report:   Axis I:             305.00           Alcohol Abuse             291.5               Alcohol Induced Psychotic Disorder with Delusions           &nb …
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Author: Ettie Bersson, LMSW

March 19th, 2014

Axis I-IV:           I.            Substance-Induced Mood Disorder (291.8); R/O Bipolar Disorder (296.80) Alcohol Abuse (305.00) Bereavement (V62.82) Sleep Disorder, Insomnia type (780.52)         II.            R/O Borderline Personality disorder     III …
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Author: Asher D. Lipner, Ph.D.

March 18th, 2014

Name: Achashverosh Date of Birth: Unknown Date of Evaluation: March16, 2014 / 14 Adar 5774     Identifying Information and Presenting Problem and Social History:   Achashverosh was presented for a psychological evaluation by Frum Therapists to assess his psychological and cognitive functioning. He is a 2000 year-old man of Persian descent who lived in Shushan, and was employed in a government job as the King of the Persian Empire …
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Author: Shuli Sandler

March 18th, 2014

Axis I:  303.90 Alcohol Dependence             R/O 307.42 Primary Insomnia Axis II: 301.6 Dependent Personality Disorder and Borderline Traits Axis III: None reported Axis IV: Relationship Problems Axis V: GAF = 45   Mr. A.* is a Persian adult male who is currently employed as the king of a large, Middle-Eastern empire*. A. initially presents with a tendency toward severe alcohol de …
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

March 13th, 2014

The following story appeared in the Jewish Observer many years ago. It is still timely. One day a Menahel took notice of a young boy's uncharacteristic mood. Normally possessed of a bright disposition, a period of days went by during which he seemed morose. He called the boy into his office and asked him if anything was bothering him. The boy began to cry and explained that he was carrying a heavy burden in his, heart. He said, "I know that I'm a …
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

March 9th, 2014

Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen. Winston Churchill It takes courage to be a parent; both the courage to speak to your children and the courage to listen to them. What can make it difficult to speak to your child, why would it require courage? Here is a profile in parenting that illustrates how this can happen. Whenever I ask my four-year-old to clear his plate and napkin from th …
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Author: Reizl Kessin, MHC

February 25th, 2014

Oftentimes we believe that it is enough to just say “I’m sorry” when we have hurt someone. Perhaps in some cases that is sufficient, but when it comes to more intimate relationships, such as a spouse, sibling, parent or child, we need to make amends in a deeper, more substantial way. The reason is simple: Acts of hurt and disrespect and careless disregard occur on a daily basis. No one wants to hurt someone they love, ever, but …
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Author: Sarah Kahan, LMSW

February 25th, 2014

What do women and men want? Lo tov heyos adam levado. As human beings we seek connection – with people, with parts of ourselves that we repressed, and with the world around us. How can we experience life to the fullest? When we have an intimate relationship with another human being, our lives feel more complete. Many couples fail in relationships because they did not receive it in childhood, so the healing done in the intimate relationship …
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Author: Chaya Berger

February 25th, 2014

Non-suicidal self-injury, the act of deliberately harming one’s own body without suicidal intent[1], has been called a “silent epidemic.”[2] Affecting upwards of 13% of adolescents[3], this phenomenon challenges us with its apparently anti-human quality. Human nature is to protect oneself in every sense at all costs – so why do many elect to engage in self-violence? More relevantly, is this something that has reached the f …
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Author: Avi Shteingart, LMSW, CASAC

February 25th, 2014

Last night, an educator in a prominent high school called me after her son had dropped out of treatment. She has always projected a strong and confident demeanor, but our conversation suggested a different side to her. She struggled to hold back tears as she asked, “What do I need to do?” She explained that her position required offering solutions for parents and students: She needs a math tutor… Your daughter will not receive …
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