Author: Avrohom Weiss, MA MFT

May 1st, 2015

In last week’s article I wrote about the pivotal balance between raising happy children in a competitive world and the importance of instilling a recognition of the importance of exercising self control.   I would like to focus now on one crucial idea that I believe is the very foundation stone upon which all successful parenting is predicated upon. When contemplating the following, we as parents will stand a great chance at inculcatin …
0 comments

Author: Avrohom Weiss, MA MFT

April 24th, 2015

Trying to raise happy children in this day and age has become a hot topic. Parents spend an inordinate amount of time dedicated towards making their children happy. From their youngest ages, we introduce our children to pastimes and activities hoping they will serve them with satisfying doses of self content.   Caring parents extend themselves, exhaust themselves, and sometimes impoverish themselves spending beyond their means to insure that …
0 comments

Author: Dr. Avraham (Allan) Friedman, Psy. D., LMSW

June 9th, 2015

Standing up to Peer Pressure - Parshat Shelach One of the most difficult challenges throughout a person's life is that of peer pressure. It is important to toe the line in some cases (op. cit. blog of Parshat Naso). Yet it is sometimes important to stand for what we believe despite pressure to conform. Knowing where the difference is between the two is quite a challenge. How can we make that differentiation? In the story of the scouts in thi …
4 comments

Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

June 7th, 2015

NOTE: THIS COLUMN WAS ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN BINAH'S THERAPY: A SNEAK PEEK INSIDE Listen to me. You may find yourself in this scenario. For months you have been miserable. Maybe years. You have spoken to friends, confided in mentors, consulted with rabbis, and vented to sisters. And you just couldn't seem to feel better. So you let your husband, your friend, your rav, even your own dear self, convince yourself to try therapy. And you do. And, …
3 comments

Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

June 7th, 2015

One of the most common emotions experienced by children is hatred. Children feel hatred when they are blocked from something they want and when someone takes something away from them. When five year old Moshie builds a house out of his connecting blocks and three year old Malka kicks it until it is flattened, Moshie feels hatred towards his sister. When their mother picks up the eight month old to nurse him, both Moshie and Malka hate him for tak …
0 comments

Author: Dr. Avraham (Allan) Friedman, Psy. D., LMSW

June 2nd, 2015

Humility is a Good Thing - Parshat Behaalotecha  One of the most maligned of human attributes is that of humility. It has become synonymous with being viewed as a doormat at best, ridiculed at worst. People have told me: "Would you want a political or community leader to be huuumbbble?" stretching out the word as if saying it with disgust or even disdain, almost as if it were a disease. In addition, there is an old adage which says that onc …
2 comments

Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

May 25th, 2015

“How was school today?” “Fine.” “What did you do there today?” “Nothing.” Does that conversation sound familiar? It does to me. Many parents tell me that their conversations with their children about their day in school go just like that every day. Of course, these parents don’t take that answer literally. It isn’t possible for a sentient human being to spend that many consecutive hours …
0 comments

Author: Dr. Avraham (Allan) Friedman, Psy. D., LMSW

May 25th, 2015

Maintaining Your Identity in a Group - Parshat Naso One of the most difficult issues we deal with is in a social setting is knowing when to subjugate ourselves to the rule of the majority and when to assert ourselves. When do we become a part of the herd and when do we color ourselves differently? During the celebration of the consecration of the tabernacle in the desert, there is an unusual donation that is described in this week's Torah portion …
2 comments

Author: Dr. Raymond Nourmand

May 22nd, 2015

    Love is a powerful concept we are all drawn to. It makes us belong and feel whole, it gives us the sense we are complete, and have everything we need. When in a state of love, everything seems beautiful because deep down we are seeing ourselves as beautiful. As creatures of projections, the truth is that what we see in others is not merely a reflection of them, but also a glimpse into us. We see in others what we see in ourselv …
1 comments

Author: Dr. Raymond Nourmand

May 22nd, 2015

    We live in a society that places a high premium on what others think. Our culture encourages us to spend our time, effort, and resources focusing on other people, what they want of us, and what we can do to get them to like us. The desire to win other people’s approval, validation, and favor has been a part of the human condition since the beginning of time. It’s in our nature to want to be liked by others. Feeling …
0 comments

Author: Dr. Raymond Nourmand

May 22nd, 2015

    Often we're told being selfish is bad. It’s disrespectful, shameful, and wrong. But we are all selfish. Every one of us. We act to serve ourselves. We eat what tastes good to us, befriend those who understand us, and do what brings happiness to us.       However, true selfishness takes courage. Being honest about who you are, what you want, and what you are willing to do to get it are important aspects …
0 comments

Author: Dr. Avraham (Allan) Friedman, Psy. D., LMSW

May 20th, 2015

Your Legacy - Parshat Bamidbar We often hear talk about legacies. A politician's legacy. A parent's legacy. Our legacy. What is a legacy? What do we leave behind for the next generation? How do we decide that? The concept of legacy is addressed in this week's parsha - Parshat Bamidbar. In a relatively innocent statement the Torah takes a census of the people and talks about the family of Moshe as well.1 Yet, when detailing the family members …
3 comments

Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

May 18th, 2015

NOTE: THIS ARTICLE WAS ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN LINKS, A MAGAZINE GEARED TO TEENS WHOSE PARENT(S) HAS DIED    I’m back. I have some more stuff to tell you. And you may not want to listen, and that’s okay. My kids often don’t listen to me, either. Except that they secretly are, when they think I don’t see. So maybe you can pretend not to listen; or, when you think I am not looking, you can read this article. Becaus …
0 comments

Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

May 18th, 2015

When I was five years old I would ride my sled down this mountain in the park on Mosholu Parkway. When I was eleven I would go careening down this huge hill on Franklin Street in Yonkers on my bike. It’s really interesting to see how much of the topography has changed over these many decades since then. My wife and I live in Brooklyn now, but we occasionally visit the alter heim (the old country) and those slopes have leveled off considerab …
0 comments

Author: Lea Koplowitz, LCSW-R

May 19th, 2015

The powerful and novel experience of Emotionally Focused Group Therapy (EFGT) has demonstrated itself to be the innovative and effective therapeutic tool.  Amazingly, EFGT reduces the time and cost of therapy and offers greater satisfaction in relationships with others, improved self-perception and self-esteem, and the ability to lead a happier more meaningful life. EFGT is a rich group therapy ex …
3 comments

Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

May 12th, 2015

You walk in to my office for the first time. It is an interview, for both of us, and we both don’t want to fail. There is much you learn about me although I reveal nothing verbally. My office is simple. Four walls. A chair. A couch. A lamp. My books line the shelves. They tell the story of what interests me, theories and philosophies that inform my orientation and work. My diplomas and certificates are framed, hanging quietly on the wall. Y …
0 comments

Author: Dr. Avraham (Allan) Friedman, Psy. D., LMSW

May 11th, 2015

It Ain't Easy - Bechukotai The baseball season is well under way and the basketball playoffs are heating up. When we watch these professional athletes play it seems so easy to hit the ball, make a running catch, strikeout a home run king, dribble with both hands and sink a reverse layup. But hours upon hours of work go into perfecting their moves. They watch videos, train with coaches and then exercise and practice some more. The same thing goes …
0 comments

Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

May 10th, 2015

Did you ever notice how easy it is to say you’re sorry as long you don’t say anything more than that? If you bump into somebody, you say, “sorry,” and you go onto the next thing. What happens if you bump into someone and you knock them over? Do you just say that you’re sorry and move onto the next thing, or do you stop and try to help? Do you feel bad that you were not more careful and you want to think about how you …
1 comments

Author: Reuben E. Gross, PhD

May 10th, 2015

In the legendary town of Chelm lived many philosophers and savants. The story is told about one of these ruminators who developed the fear that when he disrobed his distinctive garments at the public bathhouse, he would lose his distinctiveness, look like everybody else and lose his identity forever. In order to forestall this catastrophe, he tied a string around his ankle, but was thunderstruck one day when he noticed that the string was missing …
0 comments

Author: Reuben E. Gross, PhD

May 10th, 2015

A young man in his late twenties recently told me: “I don't want all the tea in China. All I want is some­one to love — and to love me." A young woman said that she was so bursting with love that she couldn't bear it any longer. Indeed, one poet believes that it is better to love than to be loved. “The pleasure of love is in loving. We are happier in the passion we feel than in that we inspire” What do these two single …
0 comments

Author: Smadar Prager, Psychotherapist, CGP

May 13th, 2015

I love stories that help us understand ourselves better, and create a different way of thinking to initiate change within ourselves or with others. Here’s another lovely one: A man is walking down the street wearing a hat and a jacket. The sun and the wind got into an argument: which one of them would be able to take his hat and jacket off of him? The wind thought that she would be able to do that without a shadow of a doubt, whilst the sun …
2 comments

Author: Chana Kaiman, LCSW

May 7th, 2015

Why be silent when you can be part of a collective voice? Vote Chana Kaiman, LCSW For Delegate Assembly and Member-At-Large in NASW Chapter Elections. As a clinician, advocate and potential Delegate Assembly Member, I will have the ability to influence upcoming Social Work Bylaws and revisions. I plan on representing community concerns in the upcoming Code of Ethics revision meetings. In addition to increasing overall vi …
1 comments

Author: Dr. Avraham (Allan) Friedman, Psy. D., LMSW

May 5th, 2015

This topic has people confused. Is it right to want to make an impression? Shouldn’t I just be myself? Don’t people make their own impressions of me anyway - I might want to control that. On the other hand, as Rav Aviner once said, I don't want to become an indentured servant to the society I live in. The answer I believe is, of course, both are right (and, yes, I do know the next question 'how could both be right' and, yes, you are r …
0 comments

Author: Reuben E. Gross, PhD

May 3rd, 2015

I doubt if a married person can pose a more vexing question to a marriage-minded Jewish single than the oft repeated quote, "So how come you're not married?" Other forms of the question include "My G-d, are you still single?" usually exclaimed with great surprise after meeting someone by chance some twenty years after the questioner originally met or dated the single and took a kind of liking to him/her, confident that he/she would have been snat …
2 comments

Author: Reuben E. Gross, PhD

May 3rd, 2015

In the musical "Fiddler on the Roof" the heroine is amazed when her husband presses her for an answer to the question: “but do you love me?” The play is bas­ed on the story "Tevye's Daughters" by Sholom Aleichem. In the Eastern European shtetl "love" wasn't a frequently discussed topic. Essentially, Golde's answer was, “what do you mean do I love you? I wash your clothing, prepare your meals and bear your children, how could …
0 comments

Author: Reuben E. Gross, PhD

May 3rd, 2015

At a Singles Exposition in New York City where I was a guest speaker on the topic "Cop­ing with the Dating Game" many years ago, approximately 3500 never-marrieds, divorced, separated and widowed gathered to meet each other, listen to lectures geared to their interests, and talk to coordinators or sales represent­atives at 108 booths catering to their specific needs. Most frequently represented among these booths were a variety of dating …
0 comments

Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

May 3rd, 2015

Someone once said, “more than the Jews have kept the Sabbath, the Sabbath has kept the Jews.” He meant to say that by keeping Shabbos, Jews have an anchor and a basic Jewish identity, no matter what they’re exposed to and involved with during the rest of the week. It would seem that Shabbos is the easiest day to be Jewish. Spending the day in the confines of our community, shul, and home we are shielded from the outside influenc …
0 comments

Author: Dr. Avraham (Allan) Friedman, Psy. D., LMSW

April 30th, 2015

Love Yourself To "Love Thy Neighbor"- Acharei Mot-Kedoshim The concept of 'brotherly love' is international. There is even a city named for the concept - Philadelphia. Yet there is another, more basic concept  that often gets overlooked. One of the most famous and oft-quoted sentences of the Torah (and the famous rabbinic principle based on it) appears in this week's parsha, Acharei Mot-Kedoshim. "Love thy neighbor as thyself"1 is a basic te …
2 comments

Author: Chana Kaiman, LCSW

April 28th, 2015

  Within the past few years the number of Jewish professionals entering Mental Health care has grown exponentially. Now more than ever, there is a greater need to to advocate for specific services, unite with other providers and develop representation among the larger group. For decades NASW has protected social workers and established rights and responsibilities. NASW is a powerful organization whose mission is to support us throu …
3 comments

Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

April 27th, 2015

Question: As a 35-year-old working father of five, I often find myself feeling frustrated. Between my responsibilities as a breadwinner, father, husband, community member, and learner,I often have difficulty juggling everything. How do I prioritize all these responsibilities?   Answer:             First off, I do hope that your wife appreciates being married to such a wonderful guy who …
0 comments

Author: Dr. Avraham (Allan) Friedman, Psy. D., LMSW

April 21st, 2015

The Bigness of Little Things - Parshat Tazria-Metzora We tend to care for the expensive items we have at home. We insure our jewelry, put money in safes, build cabinets for silver candlesticks, etc. There is even a special Muktza1 category for expensive items - "muktza due to possible loss of money". The Torah however, shows interest in a person's simple possessions as well. In Parshat Metzora, the Torah tells us that leprosy can strike a person' …
8 comments

Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

April 14th, 2015

According to a well-known adage, there is no such thing as verbal abuse.  “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never harm me.”  If we are impervious to words, then words cannot be a source of abuse. Of course, we know that’s not true. The tongue is a powerful weapon of abuse; it can be lethal. We know this by experience, but we also know from Tanach. “Death and life are in the hand of the tongue,&r …
2 comments

Author: Dr. Avraham (Allan) Friedman, Psy. D., LMSW

April 14th, 2015

 The Other Mourners When a parent loses a child, the community, friends and family gather round to try and find ways to support the parents and siblings, if there are, in this difficult time. But how about the others - friends and family who are not direct mourners*? In Judaism, there are no official laws for them. Are they not mourners? In a humanly tragic moment, in Parshat Shemini, Aaron's children were killed before his eyes and the eyes …
1 comments

Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

April 13th, 2015

NOTE: THIS ARTICLE WAS ORIGINALLY WRITTEN FOR THE COLUMN A SNEAK PEEK INSIDE, IN BINAH MAGAZINE It does seem so drastic.
I mean, the couple just got married and are having a little issue or two. You don’t need a therapist for that, for goodness sake. A little chat with the Rav, a kallah teacher, a little common sense, a little compromise, and all is good as new.
Or that student who is arguing non-stop with her mother. …
2 comments

Author: Dr. Avraham (Allan) Friedman, Psy. D., LMSW

April 8th, 2015

The Maid's Epiphany - 7th Day Pesach Making a change which involves a sense of gaining one's independence can be an exciting and thrilling moment. Whether it is going from being a salaried employee to being an entrepreneur, getting out of a bad relationship, release from jail - these all represent a change where the person will now be in greater charge of their own destiny. The Midrash describes such an epiphany. In the story of the splitting of …
8 comments

Author: Dr. Avraham (Allan) Friedman, Psy. D., LMSW

March 31st, 2015

Statue of Responsibility - Pesach "The Festival of our Liberty" is one of the nicknames of Pesach1 and points to the fact that our ancestors were freed from the Egyptian slavery on this date. We celebrate that we are no longer under the control of another nation and are free to do as we wish. We celebrate liberty as do nations around the world. The Liberty Bell in Philadelphia and the Statue ofLiberty in New York, as well as Independence Park in …
0 comments

Author: Dr. Avraham (Allan) Friedman, Psy. D., LMSW

March 24th, 2015

Taking for Granted - Parshat Tzav We all know that in times of trouble many people turn to God for help. They engage in prayer for the item or the change that they wish. "There are no atheists in a foxhole," the saying goes. But if his answers are fulfilled, what is his reaction? Does he then turn to God? There is an old story about a man driving to a job interview but couldn’t find a parking spot. He drove around and around and still was u …
1 comments

Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

March 23rd, 2015

Note: This was originally published in JEWISH ECHO MAGAZINES's monthly column "Ask the Therapist."   Question: Recently, my husband’s religious views have been changing. His hashkafos and values are becoming more liberal than they used to be. How can we keep these newly developed differences in our hashkafos from affecting our children?  Answer: Before I answer this question, I would like to make it very, very clear that the perso …
4 comments

Author: Dr. Avraham (Allan) Friedman, Psy. D., LMSW

March 18th, 2015

Taking Responsibility - Parshat Vayikra We become excited when we do something well. It helps our self-esteem. It gives us a boost - and the more significant it is the greater it impacts us. It can even carry us through our day. We relish in those days. There are other days, when we make mistakes. They similarly impact us but with a negative sense of self. We can become embarrassed and try to cover up what we did from others and even sometimes fr …
0 comments

Author: Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

March 17th, 2015

Parenting was never a sport for the faint of heart. It takes tremendous mental and physical energy, there are few if any breaks, and it can even get a little bloody. It seems that in recent times, however, the ante has been upped even more: with the ever-expanding reach of the internet and its access points, the kinds of trouble our kids can get into has mushroomed, as we have unfortunately seen in news story after news story. How does this chang …
1 comments